- This is the first time I ever got exposed to this.
I got a whatever Batman.
- Hey, I'm Emily.
- I'm Stephanie.
- Hi, I'm Jake.
- I'm Keeley.
- And I don't know if you guys know this, but
- Kids are absolute lunatics.
- Lunatics.
- And, they're adorable.
- They're hilarious, and weird, and funny,
and we're here to share some of
the darndest things kids have said.
(silly music)
- One of the ones that sticks out in my mind
is that a parent at the school that I was teaching at
was worried that their son wasn't making a lot of friends
and was trying to get, ya know,
the socialization to come through.
So she stopped a group of kids on the way out of school
and she knew all of their names,
and she said them right out, and she invited
them to come over to their house to watch movies.
And one kid just said who are you?
And why do you wanna watch movies with us?
Which honestly is the smartest thing you can say.
- Stranger danger.
- Stranger danger is real.
But that always sticks in my head
of who are you?
And why do you wanna watch movies with me?
- I had this very sweet, introspective
little boy who was very quiet.
Like the kind of kid that reads on his own.
He was playing over in the corner by himself.
Like for hours at the water table.
I'm walking by and I happen to be like picking up
some stuff over in the corner by his table,
and I'm thinking in my mind like, ah what a sweet boy.
He's playing so quietly.
You can hear him kind of murmuring to himself.
And then I just hear a little like (bleep) my life.
And I thought like maybe, maybe, maybe
- Just so matter of fact, like oh
look a penny, (bleep) my life.
- There's a chance like maybe it like
came out of my phone or something.
And he just looks up and he's like (bleep) my life.
Like so matter of, like he's telling me the weather.
I started laughing uncontrollably
because I couldn't keep it together.
Give Ms. Emily a minute, I snorted a little bit.
And then I turned back around and I had to say like
hey, I know you're not trying to be mean
but this isn't something we say at school.
But, his mom came back later that day.
She was very cool, we had a really really good laugh.
Cause I had to tell her what happened.
And she just goes, her face, she just goes like.
And she's like,
I say that.
They hear everything you say.
- One time, I was in the bathroom with a couple of kids.
One of them had sat on the toilet,
and the girl that was with us,
she looked at him sitting on the toilet
and she goes, wow I like your penis.
And then he goes, thanks it's for peeing.
And I was like, why did you tell him that?
Why'd you just say that?
And she goes, cause it's small, you know.
And I, died.
She said what was on her mind.
- Wow, so already you have coed bathrooms starting
and then kids are talking.
- Yeah.
- Wow.
- It's a learning experience.
I feel like when we were younger it didn't
It wasn't like that at all.
- Oh yeah.
- So like now like, kids are learning eachothers genitals
and being like ah yes, you have a penis.
You use the urinal.
I do not.
- Have you ever had to share
the bathroom with your students?
- No. - Like being in another stall.
- Oh boy.
- It's really bad.
Especially when they know your shoes.
- Oh God, no.
- They point out, oh yeah no, that's Mr. Harkey.
- Yeah, I heard you pooping.
- Yeah, they know.
They've got all the dirt on you at that point.
- Trauma, that would be trauma.
- That terrible smell, and they're like
what are you doing in here?
- Yeah.
- A new thing at our school, is we started
like in the last five years, is we started for the toys,
like the books and the dolls aren't
cutting it anymore for play pretend.
The girls want phones, they want old phones.
So they can be like mommy on the phone.
So we started bringing like all of our old Nokia's.
We started bringing those in, Razor.
Letting them like play with them and talk to eachother.
And so a lot of times I'll like walk in on a conversation
and it's girls playing mommy.
And they're all on their phones and they're like
excuse me, excuse me, I can't come to your meeting
because I actually have book club
and I actually like we're in a fight right now
and we're gonna get a divorce, bye.
And I'm like, oh okay.
- Clean up time, you know the clean up song
everyone's cleaning up and all that.
And one child, she was not cleaning up.
And so I was like, you need to help us clean our classroom.
If you're choosing not to clean up the art space
then I guess it's gonna have to be closed to you later.
That really set her off and she was like,
wait, wait, I do wanna clean up wait!
And by then it was already done.
And I was like, sorry it's already done.
Maybe you can try again tomorrow.
And she goes, damn it!
You're damn it!
- She said you're damn it? - I'm damn it.
- Wow, oh boy.
- I mean, to her it was probably
the sickest burn of all time.
- Yeah.
I've had, I had a sick burn once actually
where I was asking one girl, very sassy,
very much like king of the court, playing with everything.
I was like can you please be able to share the toys?
They are for everybody.
And, this is the first time I ever got exposed to this.
I got a whatever Batman.
- Oh my God. - Yeah.
- Got a bunch of kids
sittin' on the carpet.
And we ask the age old question,
what do you wanna be when you grow up?
One kid's like, my mom!
And the other kid's like, a teacher!
The other one's like, a detective!
He's a little kid, we'll call him Danny,
goes, a banana!
I just laugh and I was like, great.
- Kids, they have no filter. - True.
- Whatsoever, they will speak their mind.
Almost to a fault, but you honestly end up
getting some great sound bites to take home and learn by.
- And you get to learn how to
control your facial expressions.
- Oh totally.
- Cause sometimes you can't give what they say power, but
- No.
- It's real hard.
(upbeat music)