you are not alone it's time to quit porn i'm dr trish lee cognitive neuroscientist and sex
addiction coach in this video i want to share with you the transformational journey that occurs when
you commit to leaving porn and masturbation behind deciding not to isolate anymore and to move into
your life in a connected united and unified way with the people that you love and especially if
you're looking for a partner to share sexuality with so let's dig in first we're going to talk
about this journey that i'm discussing from ego or your false self to your true self that's on
purpose second we're going to talk about the time that it takes and why it takes time and then third
is your brain tip strategy for the day how to get out of ego and to get into your true self
so let's dig in because this one is gonna take some chewing on if you know what i mean okay
number one ego transformation to the self what is the ego so the ego is basically
a persona that we developed all of us every single one of us including me including this girl that we
developed when we were young to survive and that's why i love the enneagram personality types because
when you figure out your personality type you can also discern why you developed that type
of personality to protect yourself and to feel safe and secure and that's going to be one of
our brain tip strategies if you're interested but we develop these personas so that we can feel safe
navigating the world what happens is the ego is the false self it's made up of a thousand scraps
of fear and it isolates and it doesn't want to be connected because it's protecting itself
it's survival it feels like it lacks something so it's constantly trying to take and to get
and when it comes to porn or masturbation the ego needs to feel good it needs to get more and
more pleasure because it feels like it's missing something it has holes that need to be filled and
that feeling of lack drives the ego the false self back into the screen or back into masturbation
trying to fill those holes of emptiness that is because the ego is false it's not really you
it's a mask you put on and actually it has two sides it's the mask that you put on when you go
out into the world and you go hey world look at me on social media my life is so perfect
then you take that mask off you flip it over and you go into your man cave and watch all kinds of
porn that you would not want people to know you were consuming it's a double-sided false mask
the real you he's in there and he is dying to get out and the way that you help him get out
is taking this transformational journey to your true self the one who's full and whole whole in a
good way without those voids and when you're full you can only give what you have so if you're full
you want to give that gift that purpose that you have in you you want to share it with the world
and contribute in service to others and to the collective you want to be connected to everybody
else because you know what you have to give what a beautiful thing so when we talk about a porn brain
rewire what we're talking about is taking this journey from being really stuck in your ego and
if you keep going back to porn and masturbation whether you know it or not you are stuck in this
ego false self it needs to be self soothed because it lacks so the transformational journey is coming
out of that ego recognizing its patterns and its programming that's driving you back
figuring out what triggers it figuring out what makes it feel that it's lacking
and programs my porn brain rewire programs 90 days long most are 90 days because you can't
flip that switch overnight most people it takes time to shed the false self in the ego understand
it a bit more see what's going on figure it out learn from those ego patterns and then
put them to the side and develop new healthy true self patterns that help you get on purpose
and that happens across the 90 days and so it's kind of like if you're stuck 100 in ego right now
as you commit and you join a program or across the 90 days you watch every video i have here on
youtube and you start piecing the pieces together what will happen is you'll come out of ego it'll
be 100 and then you'll be at 90 ego 10 true self then it'll be a 60 40 split then it'll
flip to a 50 50 ego and true self on purpose and it'll feel weird to you it's gonna feel weird
because you're used to being your ego that mask and now you're like i don't even know
what's going on right now i don't even know who this person is that's you he's never been able to
come out because he's been stuck in there since you found porn and masturbation many moons ago
so then it's going to flip to 60 self 40 ego then 90 self 10 ego and if you're lucky
if you're the point zero zero zero five percent you'll be able to get to a hundred percent self
that's a tricky one it's a unicorn but if you get to 95 self and you know all of your ego tricks
that hijacker you know the tricks now you won't be sucked back in so you don't have to stay
vigilant against the ego because you got it you already know what he's gonna try to pull on you
and when he does you're ready that's what the transformational journey is and that's why it
takes 90 days okay so how do you figure it out number three is your brain tip strategy
it's difficult to figure out your ego programming when you're in your ego and that's why joining a
program and this is not a sales you don't have to join mine joining a program getting a coach
getting an accountability partner working with someone who can see those patterns when you
can't because you're stuck in them that is what can really shed light on it especially
if you begin to be open to the idea that this mask isn't you but if you don't want to do that
try to see how the programming is driving you try to figure out these default mechanisms that you're
just going to figure out the triggers that will help you when you feel angry why angry anger is an
ego mechanism when you feel fear what is that when you feel stressed out your true self really can't
feel stressed out your ego can feel stressed out all the time your true self can't be bored so when
you're bored or stressed or angry or irritable or anxious see what's making you feel that way those
are ego mechanisms that are trying to drive you back into the screen figure out your patterns
write them down it helps you to process them and integrate them and then when you become more
self-aware write an action step for yourself this is really important because i talk to people all
the time and they're like i figure this stuff out and i'm like awesome what action action step did
you come up with and they're like i don't know so if you don't know what action step to come up with
dig into these videos i give you the action steps to try to help you move forward and of course if
you join a program or especially if you work with a coach they're going to move you forward so in my
coaching program what me and my coaches do is every time we meet with you we break down the
ego mechanisms that you're dealing with that week and we give you three action steps to take instead
to move you forward across the next week and when you come back you tell me how that worked out and
what we're gonna do the next week and i'll give you some new action steps and it keeps you moving
forward and it's action steps that you can't come up with yourself but stay here with me if
you can't join a program because my my brain tip strategies will help you try to personalize them
to yourself what's going on with me what can i do instead an action step make a new action step
even if you try something new and it's not perfect it's not the old action step that got you the old
outcome okay i hope that helps you out this is a transformational journey and the coolest part is
that once you come out of your ego and especially as you get to that 50 50 ego true self split
guess what happens is you no longer don't want to do this it shifts your ego does not want to
be in a porn brain rewire program that is for dang sure but yourself wants nothing more than
transformation towards your purpose because in the end you're gonna figure out what you
only you are here to do and to share and to contribute and humbly but proudly and on purpose
you're going to decide to share that gift with the world and guess what it's going to do it's
going to blow your mind and you're going to feel so good better than you ever knew you could feel
and what's going to happen is you're going to rock out that purpose in your work you're going
to get so connected with the people in your world you're going to love people like you've never
loved them before you're not going to need porn and masturbation because your relationship will
rekindle with the partner that you have and that you actually adore but you forgot because of porn
and if you don't have a partner you will attract to you a healthy partner like attracts like
that person will come to you as you work on yourself i know it sounds hokey but it's true
and you'll be doing your hobbies which will put you in places with like-minded people that you can
connect with you're not alone in this journey this is a journey of transformation towards purpose
and connection and it is so worth it and when you start to shift yourself will know that and
we'll be in this thing together all right if you need help on the journey please reach out to me
i am here to help you go to dr trishly.com i have a lot of blog posts with information
i have programs of all different shapes and sizes to make them accessible to you my goal is to help
okay and until next time control your brain or it'll control you