Hi, my name is Jennie and this story is about my OCD. You may think OCD is about
having to keep things clean and tidy all the time. But some people's OCD is
actually about keeping things even. Say there were two books next to each other
on a table, but they weren't completely lined up with each other
exactly. I wouldn't put them straight right away. I would have to kind of swap
them around so that they both would have the right amount of time in front of the
other book. Only after a couple of minutes I would be able to straighten
them out so that they were in line. Way more complicated than you thought, right?
So I was about nine years old when I started making little changes to my
everyday life. You see, I was right-handed, and I very much favored my right hand. In
fact, I did just about everything I could with my right hand, or my right leg.
Anything like that. I would just hate using my left hand for anything. I even
had to step on cracks in the road or pavement with my right foot. Crazy, right?
Anyway, when I was 10 years old, one day, I suddenly thought, what was I doing? Why
was I completely leaving out my left hand? Notice how I say leaving out - that
was what it felt like. It felt like I needed to even things out to make it
fair. That was when my OCD started, I guess. First of all, I told myself, I would
have to go a whole year only using my left hand and to make up for the year
before. After about a year, I finally felt like it was even between my left and
right hands, but then I had to go around using my right and left sides
equally. And I can tell you, it was not easy. My OCD only started getting worse
from there. For example, I had to count all the time in my head, every time I breathe
or even blinked. It was tedious, but I just couldn't stop myself. Another thing
that a lot of people with OCD experience is constantly feeling like somebody is
listening to your thoughts. You feel like you'll be punished somehow if you don't
think the right things. OCD is awful to live with. If you think you may have OCD,
talk to someone. Don't keep it to yourself like I did. One day, I told my
parents. They took me to a counselor. She really
helped to improve how I was feeling. I hardly ever have to do any of my
little OCD rituals anymore. I guess there is a lesson to this story. Don't
suffer in silence.