so often people have periods of their life when they feel alone. This can
actually occur on a daily basis or weekly basis monthly basis or even
annually but sometimes this low gets so low that it's literally called clinical
depression and when that occurs people look for solutions but the greatest
solution from what I've observed is actually from within looking for
solutions on the outside is I always say the last resort. Looking within and what
you can do from within is what I'd like to start with. Many times when people
have quote clinical depression and they are told that they have out chemical
imbalances and things of this nature what I actually observe when I work with
people in this case is they really have unrealistic expectations on their life
sometimes on themselves and sometimes the people around them. I even define
depression, not as a disease, but actually as part of the healing process because I
define depression as a comparison of your current reality to a fantasy about
how you wish life would be and if you have this expectation on yourself or
others or on the world of general to be something other than what it is you have
an unrealistic expectation because the way it is is the way it is and anytime
you have an unrealistic expectation on people to live outside their values or
for you to live outside your values, you set yourself automatically for the symptoms
we call depression now anytime you have an unrealistic expectation on yourself
or other people you'll have what I call the ABCDs of negativity.
You'll have anger towards yourself or them. Aggression towards yourself or them.
You'll feel blame or you blame them or you blame yourself. You feel like you're
betraying yourself or them. You feel critical they'll challenge them yourself
and you'll feel despondency despair and now depression but those ABCDs
negativity are actually feedback mechanisms for within you and your body
mind to your consciousness to let you know you have unrealistic expectations.
So I don't define depression as a disease. I define it as actually your
body mind's feedback to try to give you realistic expectations. The reason I say
that is because when i work with people in the Breakthrough Experience and other
programs i do and i apply a series of questions
inside the Demartini method and I actually ask some questions that calm
down their unrealistic expectations, their depressions lifts. If i actually go
in and identify the downsides to the fantasies or unrealistic expectations
that they hold on themselves or the people or on the world in general and
stack up the drawbacks to the fantasies and dissolve the fantasy and then write
down and define the benefits of the things that they're experiencing once
they're back in equilibrium all of a sudden they don't have depression and
they can't even identify they can't even look for it or find it but it's just not
there because depression is a comparison of your current reality to unrealistic
expectations that you're addicted to and as long as you're addicted to anything
it's a fantasy or that's going to be a benefit without a drawback or a peace
without a war or a nice without a mean or a kind without a cruel or any
one-sided world when life has two sides, the other pole, the depressive side, is
there to rebalance you and to actually give you a feedback mechanism to help
you set realistic expectations in real time, real goals and real values,
according to what's true. When the second we do that, our depression lives and
we're back into a state of gratitude and appreciation for our own magnificence of
the magnificence we're surrounded by so if you are having depression can i
encourage you to look within before you search without and to ask the right
questions because the quality of your life is basically quite of the questions
you ask. So if you're feeling a little low or sad, or clinically depressed, I'd
like to offer some practical things you can do. The first thing to do is to stop
for a moment and get really present and think about what it is that you
pressed out the most content-specific you can get about what exactly is your
are depressed about. The most powerful way to transform it can now emerge because
first you identify what exactly you depressed because in order to be
depressed you have to be comparing whatever is going on in your life to the
way you wish it would be, or will hope it would be, or fantasize it being. By
identifying what it is you're depressed about, you can then ask yourself this
question: So what are you comparing this (your life) to? What do you wish would
be there? What are you hoping it would be? What's the expectation, the unrealistic
expectation, or fantasy that you're holding on to? What is it you wish it
would be instead of the way it is. And it may be something in your finances, maybe
something in your relationship. It may be something in your health or any area of
your life. But whatever that is, you need to identify what exactly it is that you're
comparing your life to. Once you do, let's say you're not having the money that you
want. Or, let's say that your relationship is not as fulfilling or let's say you're
expecting somebody to be there for you when they haven't been, or you're somehow
expecting yourself to be successful in your business by now that you're not.
Whatever that expectation is, Once you isolate the one or many components of
that unrealistic expectation, of that fantasy, then you can go in there and ask
what would be the drawback if that was real? Because a fantasy or an unrealistic
expectation is an assumption there's gonna be a benefit without a drawback a
positive that a negative a pleasure without a pain a game without a loss and
advantage without a disadvantage. But if you go in there and ask in that fantasy,
that unrealistic expectation, what will be the drawbacks? What will be the pains? And
bring that down by stacking up the drawbacks. 10 20 30 even more in some
cases. Until it's flat. Until you can see that it's just as many benefits as
drawbacks in the alternative to what you're experiencing. Once you actually
balance that out, the fantasy that you're comparing your life to is neutralized
and you're spontaneously going to be able to start seeing the benefit
of where you are. Because no matter where you are in life, no matter what you do,
there's always a pair, benefits and drawbacks. So if you are expecting your life
to be a benefit without a drawback, you're going to feel a drawback without
a benefit in comparison. So by going into the fantasies, the unrealistic
expectations, the wishes that you had, and identify them, content-specific and ask
what are all the drawbacks to each one of those things that you're expecting.
And stack up those drawbacks until you're no longer addicted to it, no longer
going, "oh I wish it was this way". You realize it would be just as many
challenges as benefits at that time if that was to occur, you will start to
immediately start to feel the lifting of where you are. You can't appreciate where
you are if you keep comparing it to a fantasy. You can't appreciate the
benefits of life if you're sitting there holding on to a fantasy that has no
drawbacks. So by coming up with the drawbacks, you'll start to see the
benefits. Once you finish that, you can now take the thing that you were so called
depressed about and ask "so what are the benefits of that happening in your life?"
And when you bring down the fantasy with the drawbacks and you bring up the benefits
to the thing that you're experiencing, and you flatline them and bring them into
balance, it's impossible to feel depressed at that moment. In fact you're
going to be grateful. Your Heart is going to open up and you're going to realize "wow,
the way it is, is 'on the way' not 'in the way' in my life and you can appreciate
your life again. It's a very powerful process and as I said earlier the
quality of your life is based on the quality of the questions you ask. If you ask
questions that bring balance to the mind, you open your heart and you feel grateful
for your life again. Now, if for some reason as you're doing this, you're a
little stumbling on the process and need a little assist in on it, I can encourage
you to come to our website DrDemartini.com and do one of 2 things. either contact us directly
and we'll find you a facilitator that knows the Demartini Method on how to do
that to assist you or come directly to the Breakthrough Experience where I teach
people literally how to do this process for themselves so they have this for
their life, so they're not having to just go through their life always depressed
and living in this kind of bipolar world. They're actually in a state of gratitude
and appreciation for their own magnificence and they have a realistic
expectation on life. I always say the magnificence of the way life truly is, is
far greater than any fantasy or unrealistic expectation we'll ever put on it. So if
you are experiencing a low or depression, please consider those possibilities and
those action steps and call us and come to the Breakthrough Experience so you can
learn firsthand. You can email Demartini@DrDemartini.com or visit www.DrDemartini.com to talk to us Live online.
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