Trust is the foundation for any relationship, whether it’s with
your family, friends or employer. Building a faithful bond is a two way street, however,
you can’t ignore your gut instinct if you’re having trouble trusting someone.
No matter how much time it takes to build, trust can be destroyed in a matter of moments. It can
be very difficult going back to confiding in people, especially if you’ve been burned in
the past. When trust is repeatedly violated, belief systems can be affected profoundly.
Here are some signs that you may be dealing with trust issues.
Do you think people will disappoint you beforehand? Are you over protective? Do you avoid
commitment? Watch till the end to learn more! 1. You Assume People Will Let You Down
If you always assume the worst and start to panic, you may be struggling with trust issues. If you’re
with someone who has a track record of misdeeds, a lack of trust is understandable. However,
many of us can have issues with people who never show any sign of betraying us..
Sometimes, our brains constantly jump to catastrophe. In this case, it's important
to remember that it's not always the worst-case scenario. Sometimes, they really are caught up
in some work. In case any unexpected situation makes you jump to the worst possible conclusion,
there's a good chance that trust issues affect how you're viewing the relationship.
Do people always let you down? Let it all out in the comments below.
2. You avoid commitment Commitment phobia or fear
of commitment is a direct result of deep seated trust issues. People use this term very casually
to describe why they can’t commit to someone but the real reason is actually quite complex.
You may be an emotionally sensitive person, but your relationships are marred by trust issues.
You’ll be ‘protecting’ your inner, truer self and not openly sharing, so your relationships will be
shallow, based on lighter, less threatening communication about superficial things.
If this sounds like you then there are a couple of ways you can get over this issue.
Start off with knowing the root cause of your fear, followed by conquering it. Do not let other
people’s experiences influence you. This will help in regaining your trust and maybe even committing
to long term relationships. 3. You Snoop on People
If you’ve been constantly lied to in the past by many different people,
chances are you don’t have a lot of faith in what people tell you. If you’re getting to
know someone and they tell you some details about their life, your response might be to do a bit of
digging to find out if they’re telling the truth. Perhaps you check their social media profiles to
verify their work or education history, or go through their photos just looking for signs of
deceit. It is a whole different scenario if you already have been dating someone for a while and
feel the need to consistently keep snooping on them. Maybe it is time for you to recognize your
pattern of behavior and learn to trust yourself first before laying it all on someone else.
4. You Don’t Forgive Small Mistakes We know that people aren’t perfect but
not tolerating their imperfections shows that you have some trust issues. It makes you incapable
of tolerating other people’s mistakes. Whenever someone does something even remotely out of the
ordinary, you feel like it is a direct attack on you. For example, if they are speaking too
loudly then they are trying to piss you off, if they are running late then they are hiding
something from you or if they are not giving you their phone then they are cheating on you.
When someone does something that hurts you, they can trigger old wounds of the
past without even realizing it. This leads to a ‘snowball effect’ wherein the old hurt gets
layered with the new and becomes something so big you feel it is impossible to forget.
5. You Feel Isolated Human beings are social animals.
When we feel lonely, we tend to beat ourselves up and think that something is just wrong with us.
The more alone we feel, the more we start to feel like we don’t belong or feel rejected.
Feeling this way has a direct impact on your trust issues. This is because you
cannot share your real feelings or true self. To be fair, there are reasons you learned not
to trust someone. Most likely, it has everything to do with one or two specific people in your
past. The mind has the capacity to naturally generalize a lesson learned without realizing it,
which creates trust issues. Unless you have a couple of people who know
you inside out and who you can fully believe, it’s difficult for you to feel like you belong.
6. You Tend To Overthink The tendency to overthink usually
comes from a place of previous hurt. When you've been hurt in the past, it makes it harder for you
to trust what's obvious. Overthinking will become your defense mechanism in order to manage the fear
or anxiety that comes up when trying to build a trustworthy relationship with your partner.
Regardless of how realistic it may be, you can’t help but imagine that your trust is
being broken in every way possible. For example, maybe you come across a photo of two of your
friends together on social media, and your mind instantly starts to make up elaborate
theories as to why you weren’t invited, or the assumption that they don’t really like you and
the thoughts start snowballing in your mind. 7. You Don’t Share Your Thoughts And Feelings
Every human being on earth has emotional needs. Not everyone can express their feelings naturally
or feel comfortable doing so. While the stereotype is that men have the hardest time expressing their
emotions, everyone at one time or another may find it difficult to say how they feel.
But what if you consistently find it difficult to share your emotions at all?
This keeps you guarded to the point where other people may feel you’re building walls. You do
this to keep yourself safe from any future hurt. Is life too overwhelming? In this day and age
being positive is the key to a healthy life. Here are some tips on how you can
develop a positive attitude. Now back to dealing with your trust issues.
8. You Always Think About The Worst Possible Scenario
Do you have a tendency to immediately jump to the worst conclusion even if it is a
minor inconvenience. If this happens to you constantly then you may have something called
‘catastrophizing’. This means when you are in a certain situation and it is not catastrophic - you
may feel like you are in the midst of a crisis. Sure, everyone has negative thoughts, but if these
thoughts spiral out of control it may stem from your deep seated trust issues. If not taken care
of, it could lead to anxiety and depression. With the proper identification of this pattern
you won’t jump to such severe conclusions anymore. 9. You Are Overly Suspicious of Everyone
Remember being taught as kids not to talk to strangers? If you have trust issues
then you take this to another level! You show unrelenting mistrust and paranoia towards others.
Even if there is no adequate reason for you to be suspicious of someone you still find it
difficult to trust them. Having suffered from broken trust or childhood trauma in the past
could contribute to not trusting someone later on in life. You find it hard to confide in or
share personal information with anyone. Your paranoid nature makes you read too much into
the way people even look at you. Because of this you may seem cold and distant to your partner.
If you are convinced that you have trust issues then here are some tips to help you overcome them:
1. Be Honest About Your Struggles Having trust issues may stop you from revealing
your true self or feelings about how your past may have hurt you, but keep reminding yourself
that communication is key. Relationships can only thrive if you have an open line of communication.
This will help people understand you and stop them from saying stuff that may trigger you.
2. Learn To Forgive A person who cannot trust someone
will find it very hard to forgive as we have said earlier. Realizing that you are harboring some
unresolved resentment over past relationships is the first step towards healing from this problem.
Anger is understandable when someone wrongs you but not forgiving or letting
go will remain embedded in your mind and will pose a problem in your future relationships.
3. Reach Out To Your Loved Ones If red flags pop up and you feel like
you are not getting the answers you need then the best thing is to reach out to a loved one.
People who want the best for you will always give you honest opinions. They’ll let you
know if your worries are genuine or if you are overthinking. Even if you are not comfortable
sharing your feelings, just knowing that someone is out there, who genuinely wants
you to be happy, is enough. 4. Learn To Let Go Of Fear
Most of us have experienced betrayal before, so it can be difficult to be vulnerable. If you want
to start trusting again then you will have to let go of the fear of other people hurting you.
Understand how opening yourself up to hurt also means you’ll be opening yourself up to love,
affection, and joy. Understand that you will get hurt in life and instead of fearing it,
acceptance will be another step towards resolving your trust issues.
Do you think you have trust issues? Have you tried other methods to deal with it?
Get the conversation going in the comments below.