Greetings guys, gals, and non-binary pals and welcome back to another video!
Today, I'm here in a completely new place with terrible lighting.
Because there is nowhere in this house to film.
I am at my auntie's house in...
The Sunshine Coast. So I'm currently in Australia.
The enemy territory.
We all know how I feel about Australia on this channel.
And that is where I am so...
I'm not gonna lie, I really like Australia.
Don't tell anyone. Please. This is a secret between you and I.
Is that I really like Australia. I'm having a really great time here. I've really missed coming.
We were in Melbourne last week and it was so great, such a good time.
If you want to hear more about it, see more about it,
You can follow me on Instagram, @TheQueerKiwi and, or you can become a patron.
And you'll get some vlogs, and some extra content, and stuff.
So, if you want to see more of what we've been doing on our travels, which still have another month to go,
Then become a Patreon.
Helps me out, and also you get lots of fun cool content.
So, anyway, it is still Pride Month and today we're not doing a pride-themed video,
But since I'm here and I'm queer, it is a pride-themed video, because I am existing.
It is coming up the end of Pride Month,
Which means it is coming up the end of the sale period for this little guy.
This is Kiwi Fruity, the fruity kiwifruit.
Oh my god, that's a mouthful to say.
She will only be available until the end of Pride Month,
And then gone forever, never to be seen ever again.
I love her so, so much. She- I'm so proud of how she has come out.
If you would like to grab her, then go to the link in the description or makeship.com.
10% of all proceeds will be donated to Rainbow Youth,
Which is a kiwi organization helping young queer kiwis.
And right now they really could use the extra help, as one of their buildings was burnt down last week.
Which is absolutely horrific and awful.
I would make this video a fundraiser for them, but you can only do fundraisers for US organizations,
So, instead I will leave the link to Rainbow Youth in the description,
As well as the link for the kiwifruit plushie, so...
Go donate if you can.
Anyway, today's video,
What we are going to be doing is looking at the fantastic Twitter page called Incel Pickup Lines
So, we've all been on Twitter, right?
And we've all seen the posts...
That are being like, "You see this woman across the room, how do you open?"
And then some f_cking weirdo answers with the most insanely creepy thing you've ever seen.
Well, there is an account that compiles the best of those responses,
And they tweet them for all of our enjoyment.
So today, I'm gonna be having a look at those because...
Why not? I like to torture myself, and you come here to torture yourself.
It's very funny and also terrible at the same exact time.
And that is what I am here to bring to you.
If someone came up to me on the street and said that to me, I would be so confused.
How do you respond to that? What do you do?
I would just laugh.
Being me and being awkward, I would probably just be like "haha, thank you?"
And like walk away as quickly as I possibly could.
Um, but...
I would want to laugh at them so bad. That's so funny.
Next up is a response to the same exact post.
Um, my guy. "Another classic pickup"?!
I don't think you have ever had one single actual...
Successful pickup attempt.
In fact, I don't think you have ever actually once talked to a woman, or another person, or just left your house.
This- This- This isn't a thing that people do... or say.
I have to assume that this is satire.
There's no way that this is like a real actual response or thing that someone would say.
And there's no way that someone would imagine that this is how the conversation would actually progress.
I have to assume this is satire.
I would like to assume all of these are satire, ideally.
Hopefully, I can pray and I can wish that these are all satire.
But I know for the most part, they absolutely- they absolutely are not.
My advice is to go outside.
Maybe don't talk to women.
But like, go- let's go outside at least.
These are so funny.
How do people sit down and like actually think of these things?
And actually type them and actually think that this is how a conversation would go?
There's not a chance any of these people would actually ever approach a woman and say this.
And if they did, they would absolutely just get laughed at.
Because, bro, that's hilarious.
That's so funny.
This is how you know that these men never go outside and have never interacted with a woman, ever.
Because none of these conversations are like a normal human conversation.
What- What do you think would happen?
Like, realistically, if you went up to a random woman you had never met before, and you said this to her,
Do you genuinely honestly believe...
That that's going to work in your favour?
Because I can promise you- I will bet you like, everything I own,
That it would not work in your favour.
And so many of these men are like "If a hot guy did it it would work! They only don't like me because I'm ugly!"
No, it's just f_cking weird.
Maybe if you're like on Love Island or some sh_t like that, sure.
Maybe.
In like very, very rare circumstances could that maybe possibly work.
In a real-life situation? Absolutely the f_ck not.
Maybe learn about people in real life and not just on whatever f_cking TV show you're watching.
I promise you, she- she wouldn't blush and anticipate you simping for her.
Believe it or not, normal conversations do happen and do exist.
And not every conversation is about flirting and trying to hit on people.
Uh, and saying "Absolutely amazing!" while at the top of a mountain, is not really an abnormal thing to say.
Because, you know, the views are pretty typically, pretty stunning, um, so...
The giggling thing, well off, off the bat.
And also, do you really think after you objectify and insult her...
She- She's gonna call you back?
Like, "Wait! No, come back! I liked you!"
"You were so cool after you told me that you would control me if we were together and that you have a problem with what I'm wearing,"
"And that you think that I only dress like this for male attention."
Like, no, man. She's- She's never thought about you ever again.
Except, maybe to tell a story to her friend.
Like, "Guys, there's this weird f_ckin guy at the top of the mountain who hit on me. It was really f_cking weird."
And then when you like come into the lodge, she'd be like "that's the f_cking guy" and then they'd all laugh at you.
That's really the only time she'd ever think about you.
And then, maybe, you'd come up again like maybe one time when like in a situation like this.
If it happened to me and I was sitting down and making a video,
I'd be like, "Well this reminds me of this one time this guy said this to me and it was really f_cking hilarious."
It's the only time she's ever gonna think of you, I promise.
No.
Just- That's a surefire way to get f_ckin, like elbowed directly in the face.
Because, my guy, what?!
Don't be coming up to random people and whispering in their ear,
And then grabbing them around the waist.
That's not a cool thing to do. That's harassment.
And also, f_ck you. Don't- Don't- Don't touch me.
Don't touch anyone.
You would get punched in the face and it would be absolutely deserved.
This maybe happens on some weird like... sexist movies.
I say "sexist movies", that means all movies.
Or at least way too many of them. It would happen in way too many movies.
But anyway, this sort of sh_t does- it does get pulled in movies.
But I promise you, that's not how real life works.
They just really like to objectify women and talk up men and make men seem really cool by being able to just like harass women.
Like, you know? That's a common trope of movies.
Men harass woman... woman love men harassing her.
Happens all the time. Happens in kids' movies, actually. It happens in every movie.
I was watching like Despicable Me 3 recently,
Because we were on the plane and we were like "there's no movies, let's just watch every Despicable Me movie"
And like, this one scene where the- the chef man goes out and just grabs a random woman dances with her and then throws her back out.
And she's like swoons.
I'm like, that's f_cking weird. That's just weird.
I know it's a kid's movie...
But I really- I really didn't like it.
Listen. I didn't like it. I didn't appreciate it.
So, yeah. It happens in movies all the time, don't do it in real life.
Don't pull that sh_t. Don't do it. Don't touch women.
Don't come up behind us and whisper sh_t. No. No.
Keep your hands to yourself.
That's like the thing you learn at like preschool, daycare, whatever.
Keep your hands to yourself.
Thank you.
I have said this many times, and I will say it one more time.
Probably not one more time, I'll probably say more times.
She would not smile at you.
Because that's a really weird thing to be saying to someone you have literally never ever said a word to.
You don't know her name. She doesn't know your name. You don't know anything about her. She knows nothing about you.
Other than the fact you're a f_cking strange man who just came up to her and said something really inappropriate.
It's not gonna work. It's never gonna work.
Maybe in your weird little fantasy brain, it works.
Maybe it works on f_cking PornHub or whatever you're watching or doing.
But it does not carry over into real life.
It doesn't matter who you are, doesn't matter how good-looking you are, doesn't matter who she is.
It's not gonna f_cking work.
Again, unless you're like in a movie or like on a reality show where you get paid for this sh_t.
Then, maybe, it'll work.
But it's not gonna work in real life. I pinky, pinky promise you.
I'll bet my entire life on it that would not f_cking work for you.
Just like, some life advice, go outside and interact with other people at least once.
That aren't like, other incels, maybe.
And get some sort of like life experience. Touch some grass. Maybe?
I think that'll be really good for you.
But like, you know, I said- I say it seems like you've never talked to a woman or interacted with a woman,
And, you know, that's probably harmed you up until this point,
But I feel like if you did talk and interact with woman, that would harm them.
So maybe, just keep it that way.
Don't be interacting with women or talking to women.
I wish you the best, but also, like, don't talk to me.
Do you ever get the urge just like...
Get a spray bottle and like tsstss
Like spray water at someone. Like, Bad! Bad! Bad.
You feel that? Because I get that and I'm feeling that right now.
Except like with a hose from like a fire truck.
You know? You know what I mean?
Like sometimes when something like takes me off guard, and I hate it,
I, like, my immediate response is like, spray it with water.
And say No! Bad!
Um, but this is like, amplified by a thousand.
And I would like to use a hose specifically from a fire truck.
Is that too harsh? No.
I think that is perfectly justifiable.
Or, and this is a big or, this- this is just an idea.
Leave her alone once she tells you no.
Just a thought.
I know it's a wild thought to like, respect what women want.
I know it's like a really like, out there, insane thought,
To like listen to a woman and treat them as a person with their own like free will and right to choose.
But did you know, that when women say no, it actually means no.
And she said she has a boyfriend and I don't think that's gonna change in the space of like two seconds.
And even if she doesn't have a boyfriend and she's just saying that to get you to f_ck off,
Maybe just respect that and f_ck off.
Just a thought. Um, do with that what you may.
Ah, but my solution is to leave her alone.
Or I'll throw you in the ocean.
Take your pick.
And what substance do you bring to a relationship?
Do you cook?
Do you clean?
Do you do anything other than complain about women? Because...
I just want to know. I just want to know.
So, if a woman is expected to cook and clean...
What are you expected to? Can you also cook and clean?
Or are you just looking for someone who can cook for you, clean for you, clean up after you, look after you.
That's the substance you're looking for?
Someone to take care of you while you do nothing in return?
So effectively, you're a child looking for a mother?
Is that what this is? Is that what you're after?
Most women aren't interested.
Um, so yeah.
Maybe you should try bringing some substance to a relationship.
And maybe you shouldn't expect women to cater their whole lives around you.
Because you aren't the center of the universe. Actually.
You actually aren't.
I know that's a shocker to find out but...
Yeah. You are- you aren't the center of the universe. so...
And with that one, I'm gonna call it a day.
I'm gonna stop there because I don't want to go any further, actually.
I think this is where I stop. This is where I draw the line.
The urge to spray someone with a freaking spray bottle is back,
And so that's my cue to be out.
I hope that you have enjoyed this video! I...
Have had fun.
It's- It's always a good time. It's a good release, you know?
If you have enjoyed the video, don't forget to leave a like and a comment.
I'll be hanging out and replying to some comments for a little bit.
Probably a few hours after you see this because timezones.
I'm in Australia so I'm gonna schedule this post.
I'll be there. I'll be there soon.
Uh, also don't forget to subscribe! I would love to see you again.
I'm here every few days and you'll get to see me change locations all the time.
I don't even know where I'm going to be next.
I think the Gold Coast will be the next time you see me.
And then I'll be in Sydney the time after that, and then I'm off to the US and that's a big scary thing.
I'm also going to be posting more on my second channel,
So if you want to catch me over there doing more fun stuff and also some just other stuff then go subscribe there.
Some videos I have planned are talking about getting through Uni with mental illness, both diagnosed and undiagnosed.
And also looking at possum memes.
So, best of both worlds really.
And don't forget to pick up your Kiwi Fruity, the fruity kiwi fruit plushie at Makeship.
I just really like to say that. It's a f_cking mouthful but it's really fun to say.
Kiwi Fruity the fruity kiwi fruit?
Fantastic. Banger.
She's rainbow on the inside, just like me and just like a majority of you.
The best way to be.
A massive thank you to my sprout and above patrons whose names are on the screen right now.
And a huge thank you to my kiwicat patrons, Wolf, Talusk, Bobbie, Sparrow, Josh, Mandy, Robi, Kai, Christie, and Icharzael.
I love and appreciate you so so much, thank you so much for joining.
If you'd like to become a Patreon, you can go to patreon.com/savvycat or click the link in the description.
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Um, yeah. So thank you so much for watching.
Don't forget to follow me on Instagram @TheQueerKiwi and Twitter @ThatQueerKiwi
I hope that you enjoy the rest of your day.
Stay safe. Keep fighting. I love you.