do you find it hard to say no to other people when maybe other people want you
to be a certain way to do certain things even though you know you really don't
want to do it yet there's a part of you that feels like you're obligated to or
you should do it well in this video I'm gonna show you why spiritual people tend
to lack boundaries show you how to build those boundaries and then show you the
most powerful way that I have transformed this in my own life welcome
back to another video my name is Erin and I hope people
expand their consciousness now on this video I'm gonna be sharing with you
something that so many spiritual people have asked me and they as something I
noticed as well just a lot of people say well how do I do this like people may be
going through a spiritual awakening I know that one time I was talking to a
guy that was in my coaching my group coaching group that I have called the
shift Academy and I was talking to him and he was telling me like I've gone
through all this spiritual awakening and I feel like a completely new person and
I'm excited I've been telling my friends and family about it but they want me to
be this other way they want me to be the old version of me and he's like what do
I do about that but I told him to do is I said bro you just gotta be the way
everyone else wants you to be it's so selfish to be going and doing what you
and being who you really are why would you be so selfish now of course that
sounds so ridiculous and I was being completely sarcastic but once I framed
it like that he's like you're right there's really no other alternative I
was like there is no really other alternative either you're yourself and
you're being yourself or everyone else you want you to be a certain way and you
have to be inauthentic to you now that's the thing is when we go through a
spiritual awakening we go through such a metamorphosis we changed the way we view
ourselves we changed the way that we see ourselves we change the way we really
show up in the world and then other people that might make them
uncomfortable now part of us wants to make them happy we want to make other
people happy and the thing is is why do we want to make other people happy why
do we want to be a certain way for other people that's the question
so when we talk about spiritual people lacking boundaries the boundaries are
lacked because this person is focused on making someone else happy or on pleasing
other people this also has to do with being a people pleaser something that I
was for a long period of my life I went through many of you know you heard my
story just will quick snapshot of it who did 7 to 15 I had a controlling ex
stepmom in my life and what happened was in that period I learned that I was
rewarded for following the rules and I got pain if I didn't make someone happy
and I didn't like get that validation in a way so when my dad divorced when I was
15 I then felt like I was going around subconsciously trying to make other
people happy and that turned out that I was then people pleasing in many ways I
would do what I could to really it's almost like my self-worth was tied upon
how happy can I make other people and I wouldn't be I would do my best not to
like kind of rustle the feathers of other people even though in some ways I
was a rebel in many ways I wanted to to make other people happy I wanted that
validation now the reason this happens especially for people that go through a
spiritual awakening and what we call spiritual people because many people tie
their sense of self-worth based on the giving to other people making other
people happy it's a part of the self-worth that says if I can make you
happy then maybe you'll love me and when it comes to spiritual awakening what
happens is people go through it and then they view themselves differently they're
into different things and then what happens is they may have group of
friends family that understand them and know them in one certain way but what
happens is now they're they have a desire to make them happy yet they want
to be authentic to who they are now so that's the thing with this whole process
that's important to understand is how do you view yourself and is your self-worth
tied upon other people validating you because when we get to down to our rules
about what it takes about what worth means as well worth has
to do with value am i valuable what are my rules to being valuable and what
happens is a lot of times we say well I am valuable once I do XYZ and I'll
notice this a lot with a lot of people people that go through a spiritual
awakening many of you watching this video right now if you identify with
this you most likely have been through a lot of pain of your past because the
pain of your past of going through a spiritual awakening that pain catapulted
you gave you pressure to then go through a spiritual awakening now when you go
through the pain of your past a lot of times that may mean that you had a
rougher childhood and if you had a rougher childhood what that could mean
is that your sense of self-worth isn't powerful from when you were growing up
it means you've had to relook at your sense of self-worth and when you now
look at your sense of self-worth and you redo the rules in your mind as to what
it takes for you to be worthy you can then re construct this whole thing to
where then you don't feel or feel like you're not worthy unless you do X Y Z I
was talking to someone else in that shift Academy the coaching group that I
had two days ago when I did a live Q&A and there was this lady that I was
talking to who is currently going through where she's learning how to walk
again because she had some type of disease that affected or some type of
thing that affected her spine and she can't really walk and what she said was
is that she finds herself it's very difficult for her because she finds
herself wanting to help other people in her family her ex-husband her grandma
and her mom they all need her help and what happens is she's extending herself
so much and she's like how do I that was exactly the question it's kind of what
inspired this video how do I develop the boundaries because she lives with her
mom and she's helping her mom and then she's starting to help herself to
because she's learning how to walk again and then her husband her ex-husband and
all these thing and the thing that I explained to her is
actually shared with her a story but the the the story is this the other day I
was about a week ago I was with my buddies with some friends
my buddy I'll just tell you exactly who it is as well I don't think she'll mind
so it's with Victor my buddy Victor Otto who's a youtuber and then his wife patty
who's also amazing and they're good they're like some of my best friends and
we went hiking with some friends and we were at Red Rocks here in Las Vegas and
we hiked up the mountain we went up we're at Red Rock we go up there's this
little cave thing that's enclosed that's like completely enclosed away from the
wind and it's overlooking like this beautiful view of the loss of eight of
Las Vegas and all these mountains and stuff so we do as we get up there and
that's the perfect place that we wanted to chill for a little bit as like the
Oasis at the top of this mountain and so I get up there and it's kind of hard to
get up because you got to climb up this way and then you kind of gotta like you
kind of like got a shoot yourself over a little bit in order to get up there but
it's totally worth it because it's such a cool view well one person was up then
I was the second person up and then Patti was coming up Victor's wife and
Patti was certain to get up and then what I did is I was like hey take my
hand like let me take take my hand and I'll get cuz she was like she's afraid
of heights so she was kind of freaking out she's like she's like I don't know
if I could do this baba bla bla and she's starting to get really flustered
and when she started getting flustered I was like just grab my hand I will pull
you up and she was like no like like no I'm not gonna do that and I was like I
started to take it personal I was like why wouldn't you just grab my hand I'll
bring you up and you will get into the cave and it's all good she's like no and
she was and she's a great person so she might sound like she has a little bit of
that attitude right now she was a flustered state you know and I was like
okay so then she's like trying to get up and she's still kind of like she's like
kind of freaking out about it and I'm thinking to myself like why
won't she just let why don't you just grab my hand and I will bring her up
like it's it's super easy like she'll have the stability and she'll just put
her leg up it she'll be good and what happens is is she
like no I'm not gonna do that after I'd like said it again and I was like okay I
kind of like got quiet for a second I was like all right let you do your thing
and then what happened is she eventually got up and then when she got up she
calmed down a little bit cuz she got flustered trying to get up she wasn't
mad at me or anything however then she said something very interesting she said
I had to do it myself because if I have you helped me then how would I know that
I could do it myself or not I wouldn't know and you know in a moment that was a
wake-up call for me because I realized that I was trying to rob her of the joy
of figuring out whether she could do it herself or not I was trying to and I
also was aware that maybe part of my self-worth is based on how can I help
someone else get up in a way I was gonna get some type of dirty hi by bringing
someone up and saying look at me I helped to bring you up and that's what I
realized about myself there's ease there's part of me that always wants to
add value always wants to help people but it's not just help people it's do
the work for them my sense of self-worth is on doing and having that kind of
perspective so when I look at that situation the key for it is
understanding are you really helping people or are you doing the work for
them when I was talking to the lady I was talking to that I was coaching I
said maybe you're trying to yank your family up to the cave you're trying to
yank them up and do the work for them in enabling them to always rely on you
rather than letting them do it themselves so all of our boundaries are
based on our level of self-worth and until we question our rules of
worthiness our rules of value how will I know when I'm valuable we tend to do
everything we can to make other people happy instead of actually being
ourselves and doing what makes us happy so when I had that realization on the
top of the Cape it was very powerful for me I realized what other I'm kind of a
fixer in my life in general family needs help
with money area go I have people that need help I like try to do it for them
and I'm realizing now I have to let them I can't keep robbing people of their
power I have to have my own boundaries and when it goes comes to a spiritual
awakening when we go through this process a lot of times we'll do
everything we can to make it so that other people will love us will value us
not knowing that that validation we seek that love that we seek we can give to
ourselves and by having those boundaries that's how we give that love to
ourselves because then we have more energy to focus on us so when it comes
to boundaries and spiritual people the way you take your power back is you
re-evaluate a prior evaluation of your own self-worth and you realize that the
most powerful way for you to show up in the world is by you being yourself you
being yourself you be you and when you are being yourself what you'll find is
that more people gravitate towards you anyways those boundaries are a good
thing those boundaries when you say notice something you say yes to
something else I see people that um you know I know people that go through a
spiritual wake and their friends want them to always hang out the same way
they used to and sometimes it is a spiritual person you may find that a lot
of people come to you for help and they want you to give them energy and to help
them but realize that the more you say yes to that if it's out of place of
guilt a lot of times this will be tied to guilt I know that even in my family
sometimes I feel like obligated and responsible even the lady I was coaching
she felt responsible for her mom and her ex-husband but the thing is we do our
work we do what we can do we could still be compassionate but we have to be aware
of our own boundaries and remember when we have boundaries that's when we're
really able to be ourselves this is about awareness and our sense of
worthiness that's where the power really is now for this
what I recommend you do is first off subscribe to the YouTube channel if you
haven't already I shared videos about how we take our power back I help people
to become empowered with the videos that I make so if you haven't subscribed
already I make videos every single day on topics like this and also there's a
meditation that will help you to raise your vibration in the sense of
worthiness it's on completing the past I'm feeling 100% worthy whole and
complete and if you listen to that that will help you to clear out these rules
that you may have made about yourself I'll go and link that right here plus it
in the top of the scripture box below other than that hope you enjoy this
video and as always peace much love and namaste