Transcriber: Bob Prottas Reviewer: Leonardo Silva
In life there are so many difficult and terrible things that can hurt you.
However, while growing up there's one such a thing most people face.
Can you guess what it is?
It's one word and starts with a "B".
Bullying.
People get bullied for numerous reasons such as one's looks, skin color,
body shape, even their voice.
Every 7 minutes a kid gets bullied.
In Taiwan, half of all kids have been bullied,
and yes, as you may have already guessed, I was one of them.
However, I'm very lucky
for I have left the past 17 years of my life behind.
I was born in 1987 in Taidong, Taiwan.
This part of Taiwan is beautiful with its mountains and seas,
and many aboriginals live there as well.
My father was Taiwanese, and my mother was an aboriginal.
Aboriginals in Taiwan are considered a minority
due to the difference in culture and living conditions.
People used to think aboriginals were lazy,
poor and loved to drink alcohol.
They even used racial slurs against aboriginals.
Nowadays, the prejudice isn’t as severe or common as it used to be.
Still, the aboriginals were still being labeled with unpleasant names
back when I was in elementary school.
For me personally,
my mixed ethnicity caused me to be torn between the Taiwanese
and aboriginal kids in my class. I have 2 types of friends.
One group Taiwanese and the other aboriginal.
I was aware that I didn't fit in,
so I would always imitate the accents from each group.
When I was with my Taiwanese friends I would act the same way as they did,
and talk about the same subjects they cared about.
I was just like them.
On the other hand when I was with my aboriginal friends
I would change my dialect and control my volume
and try to blend into their culture in hopes of feeling like I belonged.
Therefore, in my continuous search for my own self,
I allowed others to define me.
When I was 8 years old, I was only 5 feet tall. Pretty short, right?
I was chubby, and dark skinned,
curly-haired with big eyes and long eyelashes,
and a very distinctive black mole on my face.
One day, after school, 3 girls who were bigger than me surrounded me
and their leader stood in the middle and I will never forget her name.
I can not recall how this started but I remember they used a long list of English
to try to talk down to me.
They called me fat, short, ugly
and laughed at me because they thought that I could understand,
and after a long list of these slurs in English, they continued in Chinese
and they said my eyes and eyelashes made me look just like a girl,
and I was disgusting.
All I wanted, in the moment, was for it to all end.
Then they tapped me on the face where my mole was, and said:
"What a huge fly."
(Laughter)
You know, that day I ran all the way home, crying, and completely hopeless.
So I told my Mom that I wanted to cut my eye lashes shorter,
and of course my Mom didn't agree, and thank God she didn't.
(Laughter)
Thank you, Mom. (Laughter)
She told me my eyes are beautiful, and there are so many people
who want my features but can't have them.
As I grew older, I realized that she was right.
But at that time I was so young, I could not understand.
In my heart I still wished that I could change my appearance.
The year I turned 9 years old, I suddenly realized
that I couldn't really hear with my right ear.
At the first time I thought it was normal, but people had to repeat themselves
a couple of times before I could understand.
So I told my Mom about this situation.
But at that time, she was either drunk, or not a home,
and also, she thought that I was just a kid, and did not believe me.
So when I got to middle school, my hearing got worse.
I didn't tell any teachers or classmates that I reacted slower
because I couldn't really hear with one ear.
People would always say: "Are you deaf?",
since I couldn't really hear properly,
and a teacher became furious because I wouldn't respond
even after being called on several times, and the school often gave me poor marks
because they believed that I wasn't concentrating on my studies,
and my classmates thought I was too arrogant to respond to them.
So they bullied me even more.
It was very hurtful.
Even in high school,
when I was ready to be enlisted into the military,
nobody knew and my Mom still didn't listen to me.
It was before a standard physical exam required by the military that I told her:
"Mom, I can not really hear with my right ear."
Only then did she realize the potential severity of my problem
and finally took me to the hospital.
So after a series of checkups the doctor said:
"You wouldn't be able to hear even if 2 jets flew by next to your right ear."
So my Mom was so shocked and responded by asking:
"Is there any way to cure it?"
But the doctor only shook his head.
Unlike my mother, I did not feel lost at that moment.
Instead, I felt at peace with deafness and having flaws.
So many people wonder,
"Peter, what good is there in not being able to hear with 1 ear?"
I will tell you now, man, it's actually great.
(Laughter) I mean, awesome.
If someone wouldn't stop talking to me,
if it was noisy, and I started to get annoyed,
I could just turn the other ear (Laughter)
or just let them stay on my right side,
and every time I travel with my friends and live in the same room,
when they start snoring I just turn on my left side, that's all.
(Laughter) I won't hear anything at all.
As I mentioned, these flaws and problems did not disappear
once I entered high school.
When I was 15, I went to a big city, and tried to go to a decent high school.
I yearned to see a different world,
and I always dreamed of walking away from the place I grew up,
and seeing a beautiful world around us.
But in the midst of my exploration,
I would often hear other people tell me, "You are so uncultured.
It is impossible for you to have the money to travel the world,
and your English is so bad,
people are likely to tell you just go back where you come from."
At this point in my life, I was unsure what I wanted.
So I returned home the year of my graduation.
During my stay, I took on a job
and met the person who changed my life.
He was a Buddhist, and I would often talk to him about the past.
One day, he asked if I was going to stay home, or live there permanently.
I only told him that I wanted to explore the world, and I wanted a new life.
He only replied:
"You are who you are.
No one and nothing can define your existence.
You just have to accept the past,
and the present to have the power to pursue your future."
It took me a very, very long time
to finally understand the meaning of this statement.
So I stand here today with a few questions for you.
What defines you? What defines you?
Is it the place you come from?
Is it the people who attack you?
Is it your skin color?
Or is it the label that this world has given you?
What really defines a person?
And 10 years later, the kid who was once laughed at,
and bullied, is standing here to share his stories with you.
The kid who was once told he would never be able to travel the world
has explored 10 different countries, and published a book.
So the year I returned home, I began to accept my imperfections.
I began to accept the things and people that I used to dislike.
I told myself, "I'll stop letting others define me.
I will not allow the people who told me I have bad English
or have no money to travel the world, to define me.
I will transform my pain, and despair into opportunities to grow."
I told myself, "It doesn't matter how other people see you.
What matters is how you see yourself.
It doesn't matter who likes you, or who dislikes you.
Just be compassionate, and kindhearted.
Live your own dreams, and walk your own path.
And the trick is, keep smiling at those who don't like you."
That's what they hate to see. (Laughter)
Smile. (Laughter)
In the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter who I am,
but once I understand who I am,
I can stop chasing after things that don't belong to me.
I can come to understand my happiness and my tears,
and no longer give up on things that I love.
I've learned that growth and maturity consist of 2 parts:
One is the pursuit of happiness,
and the other, is the acceptance of your flaws.
Regardless of whether they are good or bad,
we should learn to accept them,
and know that there are 2 sides to everything.
Whenever there's sadness, there will also be happiness.
However, you have to know that when the world slaps you across the face,
the best way to respond is to confront it courageously.
Accept it, even enjoy it.
You have to learn how to find the perfection in imperfections.
Everyone hopes to always hold on to the positive energy,
and live with a positive energy.
But there's so much more to this world.
There's a long road ahead,
and there will also be a lot of obstacles in your life,
and the world will not change as you see fit.
Only when you accept your imperfections
will you be able to see the world differently.
If I can do it, so can you.
Remember, just remember, it all starts today.
Thank you.
(Applause)