Children are experiencing more emotional stress than ever before. Why? And what can
we do about it?
Let's look at this problem of a child's emotional well-being through the lens of
self-government. Self-government allows a person to examine themselves. In order to
have self-government, a person has to be in the habit of analyzing themselves
again and again. This analysis forms because of a deep relationship bond with
family members around them. There's a feeling of safety that is inherent in a
person that learns self mastery. They know that if they find something wrong
with themselves, it's not the end of the world. They can just fix it and move on.
There's an empowerment that comes with learning how to govern yourself. This
empowerment can do great things for a person who is struggling with their own
emotional well-being. In this video, we're gonna talk about the difference between
emotional stress and emotional well-being. Which i think is going to help
you understand some of the key components of why a lack of emotional
well-being is so prevalent today. Then I'll share with you four factors for
creating emotionally strong children. First,
emotional stress. What does that look like? For many people it looks like not
measuring up, not being connected in and not having a direction that they're
going that really means anything. Many people who have emotional stress feel
alone. They don't feel like they have anyone to follow and no one to support
them. Which means they're lacking a role model in their lives. But probably the
thing that we noticed the most about people who have emotional stress or not
a good sense of emotional well-being is that they're overwhelmed by so many
things. They're overwhelmed by their choices and they're overwhelmed by their
future. Having a good sense of emotional well-being is what I call being
emotionally strong. A person who is emotionally strong has a vision or a
picture of where they're going in the future. They also have someone to follow.
Their parent usually has been a great leader and director in
their lives. They've pointed them in the right direction and help them make the
right choices again and again over the course of their lives until they are
confident enough that they know the right choices to make on their own. In
order to create this bond and this vision that a person needs to have this
emotional strength usually requires also having a vision for the family and who
the family group is. So, that the person isn't just living life for themselves
but they have a greater purpose. An emotionally strong person knows where
they're going in life. They know what leads to happiness. And this is started
by the family being on the right track as a group. I have other videos on this
channel that talk about creating a family vision. I highly recommend looking
at some of those other videos. When a person is in this type of family
environment, another factor is in place that helps
them be emotionally strong and that is that they're not competing with anyone
around them. Instead they're focusing on connecting with all of these people,
unifying with them, working together, being honest with them; this brings them
lots of focus. One of the most noticeable characteristics of a person who has good
emotional well-being or strength is that they know how to communicate with other
people. They know how to be understood, they know how to get their way, they know
how to problem-solve with others. And they don't get shut down. Here are 4
factors for creating emotionally strong children. Number 1, The Bond. You have to
be bonded and connected to your children if they are going to feel comfortable
with who they are. You're the first person that came into their life. You're
the one that shows them what it's all about. If you're disconnected from them
because they made it that way or you made it that way, then they are going to
have a hard time accepting who they are. Because they came from you. Factor number
2, they need moral direction which means you need to teach them what's
right and wrong, good and bad, true and false.
Understanding these moral opposites gives security and direction to everyone.
If we don't make it clear what is truly right and wrong, then they can't decode
their world. How insecure could it make a person feel if everything around them is
so confusing? It's understanding what's right and wrong, good and bad, true and
false that eliminates all the confusion. They have to know these things.
Because when they go to school or when they see things in the media or read
books, if they don't have a foundation, they're going to be tossed to and fro.
What's true? Is that true? I don't know. That's what's going to happen to them if
you don't give them that foundation. So, that they can hold on to it and compare
everything to it. When teacher says something at school they can say, "Is that
true? How does that compare with the other
truths that I've been taught?" They can question in a healthy way which in the
end makes them more open-minded. Not closed-minded like people who don't ever
have a full foundation. When people have this great moral foundation, they
actually are more productive in their lives and they're happier. With my foster
children, whenever they were home for the summer and we were doing the foster care
through the summer, they were happier. They accomplished more things. They were
more driven in their pursuits. They weren't lazy. They were calm and
bonded and peaceful. Less drama. Because they were in an environment that upheld
the morals that they knew to be true. Finally, there wasn't confusion and drama
coming from peers and other sources at school.
I'm not saying schools bad. But I am saying it can be confusing. And we need
to prepare our children to navigate the world by giving them a good moral
Foundation. Factor number 4 is to lower the anxiety by having more
predictable conversation and skill development.
Lots of times children who are struggling with their emotional
well-being have anxiety. They worry. They wonder if they're
doing things correctly or not. So, what we need to do is give them the tools they
need to succeed. Do your children have the skills they need to solve their
life's problems to get along with friends and family members? To share
their opinions and to be understood. If not, they probably need a skill
development. In our family, we teach our children 4 basic skills. These 4
basic skills take care of 99% of their behavioural problems. They help them be
understood and they help them solve their problems. The 4 skills are
following instructions, accepting no answers and criticism, accepting
consequences and disagreeing appropriately. Which is their favorite
one. Because that really helps them get their way. There are many other videos on
this channel that talk about using those four basic skills. So, look for those and
you can get more help there. Factor number four is to learn to communicate
for future success and happiness. If the children can learn how to communicate
openly with their parents, then they'll have greater chance for better
communication at school, with peers, to get jobs later in life. They'll just feel
more confident. When a person seeks to understand another person, that sets them
free. Their relationship can improve. And it also opens the door for that other
person that they're talking to to understand them. If a person doesn't feel
understood, they will always feel small. And
emotionally, that's hard to take. If they don't know how to communicate with you,
they will resort to using emotions every time. The emotional part of the brain is
the oldest part of our brain. The logical part in the front, the prefrontal cortex
develops slowly over time. In fact, when their children are children in your home,
it doesn't fully develop. So, what you need to do is help that development to
occur more and more so that they don't always revert back to the emotional to
solve their problems. Communication skills
equal power. Children need us to be invested in their emotional success in a
different way than society is doing right now. Society is just pampering the
children placating to their fears. Trying to make it so that they don't have to
solve any problems. That doesn't make emotional strength and emotional
security. It just makes them more vulnerable. It makes a person not feel
equipped to handle the next problem that comes along. They'll always need someone
to tell them what to do. That is emotional weakness, not emotional
strength. We need to give them the tools that they need to bond improve their
relationships and solve their problems. My next video called How To Make Someone
Feel Understood. We'll give you more tools for helping your child communicate
better bond better and improve their emotional well-being. So, go ahead and
watch that video next.