>> DUNCAN TRUSSELL: I'LL NEVER KNOW HOW MUCH ACID HE PUT ON MY
TONGUE BUT I DO KNOW.
THE LOOK ON MY FRIENDS' FACES WAS THE LOOK THAT SOMEONE WOULD
HAVE AS THEY WERE WATCHING A PERSON FALL BACKWARDS
INTO THE GRAND CANYON.
♪♪
>>ARI SHAFFIR: THANK YOU, EVERYBODY.
IF YOU DON'T KNOW, HERE'S WHAT THE SHOW IS.
IT'S JUST A BUNCH OF PEOPLE AND WE'RE ALL TELLING TRUE STORIES.
HE'S GOT AN AMAZING PODCAST YOU GUYS SHOULD ALL CHECK OUT
CALLED THE DUNCAN TRUSSEL FAMILY HOUR
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY FRIEND AND YOURS,
MR. DUNCAN TRUSSELL.
>> DUNCAN TRUSSELL: IN THE SUMMER BETWEEN MY JUNIOR
SENIOR YEAR IN HIGH SCHOOL, ME AND A GROUP OF FRIENDS
DECIDED THAT WE WERE GOING TO A GRATEFUL DEAD CONCERT
IN CHARLOTTE, NORTH CAROLINA. AND WE WERE GOING TO THE
CONCERT NOT BECAUSE WE LIKED THE GRATEFUL DEAD, BUT BECAUSE WE
LOVED LSD AND ANY HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT WORTH THEIR WEIGHT
IN SALT KNEW THAT IF YOU WANTED TO GET ACID YOU JUST WOULD
GO TO WHEREVER THE GRATEFUL DEAD WAS BECAUSE THE GRATEFUL DEAD,
THEY DON'T TOUR ANYMORE.
BUT IN THOSE DAYS, IN THE 90S, THERE WAS AN UNDOCUMENTED
ACID BOOM, YOU COULD TRACE THE FLOW OF LSD THROUGH AMERICA
BY FOLLOWING THE TOURING SCHEDULE OF THE GRATEFUL DEAD.
NO JOKE, THAT'S ON THE DEA WEBSITE. YOU COULD LOOK,
IT WOULD GO. THE GREATEFUL DEAD, IT WAS LIKE A PSYCHEDELIC
GODZILLA THAT WOULD JUST RAMPAGE THROUGH AMERICA LEAVING BEHIND
NOT DESTRUCTION, BUT JUST FREAKED OUT TRUST FUND KIDS,
WHO THOUGHT THEY WERE JESUS AND INFINTE SHEETS OF ACID.
IT WAS A TRUE ACID BOOM, IT REALLY WAS
WE JUST WANTED ACID BECAUSE, NOT BECAUSE WE WANTED TO
TRANSFORM THE CONSCIOUSNESS OF AMERICA, BUT BECAUSE IF YOU
HAD LSD WHEN YOU WERE IN HIGH SCHOOL YOU WERE
BASICALLY GANDALF. YOU HAD MAGICAL POWERS.
IF YOU HAD A HIT OF ACID YOU COULD TRANSFORM THE HEAD
CHEERLEADER INTO A GOTH IN ONE NIGHT JUST LIKE THAT.
IT WAS METAPHYSICAL; IT WAS A VERY POTENT THING.
THAT'S WHY WE WANTED THE ACID, ALSO THE FACT THAT TAKING LSD
IN THE MORNING WHEN YOU'RE IN HIGH SCHOOL HELPS YOU
FORGET THE FACT THAT YOU'RE AT AN INTERNMENT CAMP FOR
TEENAGERS BEING RUN BY THE STATE WHICH IS REALLY NICE.
SO THE GRATEFUL DEAD. HAS ANYONE EVER BEEN TO A GRATEFUL
DEAD SHOW? SO YOU KNOW, OH YEAH YOU DEFINITELY HAVE, FRED.
HOLY SHIT, YOU KNOW. THE GRATEFUL DEAD PARKING LOT
WAS THE FIRST BURNING MAN. THAT WAS THE FIRST BURNING MAN.
THE GRATEFUL DEAD PARKING LOT WAS BASICALLY AN OPEN AIR MARKET
FOR PSYCHEDELIC DRUGS AND I REMEMBER AND I REMEMBER WHEN
WE PULLED IN THERE, AND PARKED, THE WORRY THAT WE WEREN'T GOING
TO BE ABLE TO BUY A SHEET OF ACID VANISHED WHEN SUDDENLY
WE REALIZED THAT, THAT'S ALL THIS IS.
NOBODY LIKES LISTENING TO THE GRATEFUL DEAD, EVERYBODY
JUST LIKES TAKING ACID AND THEY FOLLOWED THIS BAND AROUND
BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE IT'S AT. BUT YOU WOULD SIT IN YOUR CAR
AND FROM A DISTANCE AWAY YOU WOULD HEAR SOMEBODY CALLING
OUT INNOCENTLY,
YOU'D LOOK BACK, THERE'D BE A VERY THIN HIPPIE HOLDING A
REALLY SMALL COOLER MAYBE COULD HOLD A TWELVE PACK,
SOMETHING LIKE THAT. LIKE YOU WOULD HAVE TO GO BACK
AND REFILL IT A LOT IF HE WAS SELLING BEERS.
YOU'D SEE HIM WALKING,
BUT WHEN HE GOT BY YOUR CAR HE'D BE LIKE
VALIUM, DOSES, ACID, MUSHROOMS.
EVERYTHING WAS ABOUT SELLING ACID. THERE WERE DEA AGENTS
THERE, YOU WOULD SEE FROM TIME TO TIME, IT WAS ONE OF THE
MOST BEAUTIFUL THINGS EVER, A HIPPIE WHO HAD BEEN BUSTED
WOULD COME TEARING THROUGH THE PARKING LOT WITH THE COPS
CHASING HIM AND THE OTHER HIPPIES WOULD JUST CLOSE IN LIKE
A WHITE BLOOD CELL BLOCKING THE COPS SO THAT HE COULDN'T GET
BUSTED. IT WAS ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THINGS YOU'VE EVER
SEEN. FRUSTRATED COPS, ALL THE HIPPIES LOOK THE SAME, THEY'RE
ALL IN TIE-DYE. WE DON'T KNOW WHAT IT FUCKING WAS.
IT WAS GREAT.
SO WE'RE SITTING IN THE CAR, WE'VE MANAGED TO SAVE UP TWO
HUNDRED AND TEN DOLLARS, WE FIGURE THAT'S ENOUGH TO BUY A
SHEET OF ACID. WE'RE SITTING THERE AND THIS WEIRD
HIPPIE WOMAN COMES UP NEXT TO OUR CAR, POKES HER HEAD IN THE
CAR WINDOW AND SHE'S LIKE,
I'LL SELL YOU A SHEET FOR A HUNDRED AND TWENTY DOLLARS.
WE'RE LIKE
EIGHTY DOLLARS FOR GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICHES, WE'RE SET.
SHE GETS IN THE CAR, OPENS UP THIS TIE-DYE SATCHES AND
INSIDE IS A ZIPLOC BAG FILLED WITH SHEETS OF ACID. MUST
HAVE BEEN A HUNDRED SHEETS OF ACID IN THERE. OUR HANDS ARE
SHAKING, WE GIVE HER THE MONEY. SHE GIVES US THIS SHEET OF ACID,
VANISHES INTO THE CROWD AND SUDDENLY WE'RE SITTING IN THE
CAR WITH THE HOLY GRAIL, A FUCKING SHEET OF ACID, A
SQUARE, WITH A HUNDRED PERFORATED SQUARES INSIDE
OF IT AND EACH OF THOSE PERFORATIONS IS A HIT THAT
RESPRESENTS EIGHT HOURS OF TALKING TO ALIENS.
THAT'S EIGHT HUNDRED HOURS OF COMMUNING WITH THE UNIVERSE
IN THIS SQUARE. THIS IS ENOUGH TO LAST FOR THE REST OF THE
SUMMER, AND INTO THE NEXT YEAR. IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL MOMENT.
AND THAT'S WHEN WE MET SATAN.
AT THAT SECOND, A HIPPIE POKED HIS HEAD THROUGH THE WINDOW
BEFORE WE COULD EVEN PUT THIS SHEET AWAY, IF IT HAD BEEN A COP
WE WOULD HAVE BEEN BUSTED IMMEDIATELY, POKES HIS HEAD
THROUGH THE WINDOW, SEES US STARING AT THIS SHEET OF ACID
LIKE WE'RE GAZING INTO THE ARC OF THE COVENANT. LOOKS AT IT,
LOOKS AT US, IS LIKE,
NOW MY FRIENDS ARE HYPNOTIZED BY THIS GUY BECAUSE HE'S LIKE A
TRUE DEADHEAD. HE LOOKS LIKE A PIRATE THAT FELL OUT OF A
RAINBOW. HE'S WEARING A BANDANNA WITH LIKE PSYCHEDELIC SKULLS AND
TRIANGLES ALL OVER IT AND HE'S GOT A BIG RED BEARD, A LAZY EYE.
HE SMELLS LIKE HE FELL INTO A VAT OF PATCHOULI, JUST REEKING
OF PINE SOL AND BODY ODOR.
AND MY FRIENDS LIKE ARE IMMEDIATELY HYPNOTIZED BY
THIS GUY, GUESS HE REPRESENTS WHAT WE ALL WANTED TO BE IN
SOME PART OF OURSELVES, SOME WEIRD, FREE SOUL.
YOU COULD JUST TELL THIS GUY HAD BEEN FOLLOWING THE GRATEFUL DEAD
MAYBE FOR A MILLION YEARS, LIKE BEFORE THEY EVEN EXISTED HE
WAS FOLLOWING THEM IN THE DEPTHS OF SPACE LIKE AFTER THE BIG
BANG HE EXPLODED OUT OF IT AND JUST STARTED FOLLOWING THE
GRATEFUL DEAD.
SO HE'S LIKE,
OF ACID BACK HOME WITH YOU, OR I COULD HELP YOU SELL IT AND WE
COULD TURN IT OVER IN AN HOUR, AND WE COULD BUY
TWO SHEETS OF ACID.
IM LIKE,
NO, WE DON'T WANT TO SELL IT. I WANT TO TAKE IT BACK TO HIGH
SCHOOL, MAN.
HE'S LIKE,
SHEET.
WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? LIKE, IT'S NOT SYMMETRICAL ENOUGH?
YOU WANT TO MAKE IT MORE AESTHETICALLY PLEASING WHEN YOU
TRY TO SELL IT AT A GRATEFUL DEAD CONCERT? BUT I OPENED MY
MOUTH, AND I WATCH AS HIS HAND MOVES FORWARD AND PUTS SOME
AMOUNT OF ACID ONTO MY TONGUE. I'LL NEVER KNOW HOW MUCH ACID
HE PUT ON MY TONGUE BUT I DO KNOW THE LOOK ON MY FRIENDS'
FACES WAS THE LOOK THAT SOMEONE WOULD HAVE AS THEY WERE
WATCHING A PERSON FALL BACKWARDS INTO THE GRAND CANYON.
IT WAS A LOOK OF SUCH INTENSE HORROR AND PITY AND SADNESS
ALL ROLLED UP INTO THIS ONE EXPRESSION. I KNEW THAT I WAS
FUCKED. I KNEW LIKE,
HAVING THE BEST TRIP OF MY LIFE.
IT'S INCREDIBLE. EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE. THE ASPHALT IS
WAVING AND BUBBLING AND THESE BEAUTIFUL BUBBLES. SUDDENLY
I REALIZE, OH NOW I KNOW WHAT THE GRATEFUL DEAD ARE.
THEY'RE WHAT'S LEFT OF THE ELVES, THAT'S WHAT THEY ARE.
THE DEAD HEADS ARE ELVES AND THEY'RE FOLLOWING THE
GRATEFUL DEAD AROUND BECAUSE THEY'RE INTER-DIMENSIONAL
FAIRY CREATURES. IM LOOKING INTO THE SIDEWALK, INTO THE PAVEMENT
AND I CAN ACTUALLY SEE EGYPTIAN WRITING, PRIMORDIAL SYMBOLS. IT
LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE HAS JUST GONE AND PAINTED CONAN THE BARBARIAN
RUNES ON EVERYWHERE. I WENT INTO THE PORT-A-JOHN, THERE'S NOTHING
WORSE ON EARTH THAN THE PORT-A- JOHN OF A GRATEFUL DEAD CONCERT.
IT'S HORRIBLE, BUT I WAS SO HIGH AND HAPPY THAT IT WAS
LIKE BEING IN HEAVEN. I WAS LOOKING DOWN AND THE TOILET
PAPER LOOKED LIKE THE WINGS OF ANGELS FLAPPING. IT'S LIKE
THIS IS HEAVEN IM SO GLAD WE MET THAT HIPPIE, HE'S TEACHING ME.
WE'RE LEAVING THAT NIGHT, MY FRIEND LOOKS AT ME AND HE'S
LIKE, DUNCAN,
IT SEEMED REALLY HILARIOUS TO ME AT THE TIME.
SO I LAUGH REALLY HARD, BUT I HAD BEEN CHEWING ON A LITTLE
PIECE OF DENIM THREAD THAT WAS FALLING OFF OF MY CRAPPY CUT
OFF SHORTS AND SO I SUCKED THAT THREAD INTO MY THROAT AND
STARTED COUGHING AND COUGHING AND COUGHING.
AND I STARTED THINKING LIKE,
A DEMIN THREAD INTO MY LUNGS.
CLARITY THAT PSYCHEDELICS GIVE YOU, I COULD SEE INSIDE MY LUNGS
I COULD SEE THE INNOCENT PINK OF MY LUNGS SUDDENLY BEING
INVADED BY A MAGGOT-LIKE THREAD OF WHITE DEMIN WHICH WAS AT
THAT VERY MOMENT BURROWING DOWN INTO MY LUNGS WHICH HAD STARTED
TO FROTH WITH PUSS AND BLOOD. AND THAT'S WHEN I REALIZED I
WAS DYING. I HAD INHALED A STRING WHICH WAS IN MY LUNGS AND
MY LUNGS WERE HEMORRHAGING AND THERE WAS NO WAY YOU COULD
SURVIVE THAT.
THIS WAS BEFORE GOOGLE, YOU COULDN'T GOOGLE,
FROM INHALING A STRING?
FRIENDS' WONDERFUL EVENING, BY DYING IN FRONT OF THEM. SO I
DIDN'T TELL THEM THAT I THOUGHT I WAS DYING BECAUSE I
HAD A STRING IN MY THROAT. BUT I STARTED MAKING THESE NOISES
EVERY FEW MINUTES.
[heaving]
AND THEN LIKE I WOULD ASK THEM KINDA OFFHAND LIKE,
HEY, YOU GUYS, LIKE IF SOMEBODY DID INHALE A STRING INTO THEIR
LUNGS, DO YOU THINK THEY'D DIE?
AND MY FRIENDS ARE LIKE,
YEAH, PROBABLY, YEAH, YOU'D PROBABLY DIE.
I WAS CERTAIN I WAS DYING AND WE GOT TO THE HOLIDAY INN PARKING
LOT WHERE WE WERE GONNA SPEND THE NIGHT IN MY FRIEND'S CAR.
GOT OUT OF THE CAR, IN THE DISTANCE WE HEARD THIS [hissing]
WHICH IS THE SOUND OF NITROUS OXIDE BEING RELEASED TO FILL
UP A BALLOON. NOW THAT SOUND HAS THE SAME EFFECT ON HIPPIES
THAT ICE CREAM TRUCK MUSIC HAS ON KIDS. THEY GO IN THAT
DIRECTION TO THAT SOUND. SO MY FRIENDS ALL JUST STARTED, THEY
JUST LEFT ME, MOVING IN THE DIRECTION OF THE NITROUS OXIDE.
AND I WENT INTO THE BACKSEAT OF MY FRIEND'S CAR TO DIE, CERTAIN
THAT THIS WAS IT, I WAS GOING TO DIE.
THIS THOUGHT OCCURS TO ME WHICH IS LIKE,
DYING, WHY DON'T I GO AND INHALE NITROUS OXIDE? BECAUSE MAYBE
THAT'LL HELP THE BAD TRIP.
THIS IS THE SAME IDEA IN DANTE'S INFERNO WHICH IS THAT IF
YOU WANT TO GET OUT OF HELL, YOU DON'T GO TO THE SIDE OF HELL,
YOU GO TO THE CENTER OF HELL, AND CLIMB DOWN SATAN'S LEG.
THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT WOULD HAPPEN IF I WENT AND DID
NITROUS OXIDE. SO I GO AND FIND MY FRIENDS, FIND THE
NITROUS OXIDE TANK. THEY FILL BALLONS UP WITH THIS GAS,
I INHALE THE GAS, AND THAT IS WHEN I HAD THE MOST BEAUTIFUL
AND INCREDABLE EXPERIENCES OF MY LIFE.
SUDDENLY I WAS NO LONGER A TEENAGER IN HIGH SCHOOL, AT
THE GRATEFUL DEAD CONCERT, DYING WITH A STRING IN HIS THROAT.
SUDDENLY I WAS EVERYTHING. I BECAME THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE.
THERE WAS THIS MOMENT WHERE THERE WAS NO MORE ME,
JUST THIS WAVE OF ETERNAL CONSCIOUSNESS. A KIND OF
NEVER ENDING LOVE FIELD THAT EXISTS THROUGH ALL THINGS.
I WAS GONE, IN PARADISE FOR A MOMENT. AND THEN AS I STARTED
COMING TO IT WAS LIKE I WAS HOVERING OVER THIS--
MY BODY, LOOKING DOWN ON MYSELF
AS THE UNIVERSE. AND I WAS THINKING,
POOR, POOR KID. HE'S GOT A STRING IN HIS THROAT AND
HE'S, HE'S GONNA DIE. OH, I FEEL SO HORRIBLE FOR HIM.
AND THEN, I ZOOMED BACK DOWN INTO MYSELF AND IMMEDIATELY
PASSED OUT, FALLING ON THE GROUND. I CAME TO COUGHING,
CHOKING, COUGHING AND I SPIT INTO MY HAND A GLOB OF PERFECTLY
HEALTHY MUCUS AND INSIDE OF IT WAS A TINY STRING. AND THAT'S
WHEN I REALIZED THERE WAS NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. AND TO
THIS DAY I STILL REMEMBER THAT, ANYTIME I GET WORRIED ABOUT
ANYTHING I REMEMBER
IT'S JUST A STRING IN YOUR THROAT. THERE'S NOTHING TO
WORRY ABOUT, BECAUSE HUMAN BEINGS ARE ESSENTIALLY A
STRING.
ETERNITY. AND EVEN IF YOU'RE DYING OF CANCER-- WELL, NO,
THAT SUCKS, BUT. THE NEXT TIME YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT YOUR
PHONE BILL OR WHATEVER IT IS, JUST REMEMBER, IT'S
ONLY A STRING IN YOUR THROAT, YOU'RE GONNA BE FINE.
THANKS YOU GUYS, GOOD NIGHT. THANK YOU SO MUCH.
♪♪