Does your child have oppositional defiant disorder? Well, you're not alone. There are
a lot of people who are struggling with that disorder. In fact, as a previous foster parent,
I've worked with many youth who struggled with oppositional defiant disorder. Which usually
is called ODD. Well, in this video, we're going to be talking all about
how to discipline a child with oppositional defiant disorder.
In this video, I'm going to share with you four tools that you can use for your odd child and a
whole lot more. There are a lot of different ways to treat odd. And I know there's also different
severities. So, some people have medication, some people opt not to have medication for their odd
processing difficulties. But no matter whether you are on medications or not on medications,
what I'm going to share with you in this video is going to work to help with ODD behaviors.
And I know, because as a foster parent many youth came to my home on medications for their
oppositional defiance. And when I taught them the things I'm going to teach you in this video,
the majority of them left my home not needing some of those odd medications. So, no matter where
you're at the solution is the same. They do need to have behavior and heart training. Speaking of
heart training, the first tool is self-government. A person needs to know that they have the power
to control themselves. When a person chooses to control themselves, they are having a change of
heart. That means that their will is choosing to do something that makes sense to them,
that is not emotionally driven. Oftentimes people with oppositional defiant disorder are acting from
an emotional place. In fact, it's usually very habitual when they are pushing against you for
every single thing. They aren't even thinking about pushing against you before they start doing
it. It's a total habit. Which means that they have to undergo a heart change and a behavior change in
order to conquer something that has been worn that deep of a path in their brain. Tool number 2 is
skills. The oppositional defiant child thrives when they know their boundaries. In fact,
you may see, "Oh, yeah. They push against their boundaries." They don't want those boundaries."
They actually do. And even though they will push at first, sometimes even harder at first when you
give them a boundary. Over time, they'll recognize this is a boundary that I have to follow. So,
boundaries are important. Skills offer these vital boundaries. In the teaching self-government
parenting course, I talk about 4 skills that we teach children. These 4 skills are skills that
I used with children who had extreme cases of oppositional defiant disorder. And sure, they
tested and pushed over time. Definitely more than children who don't have oppositional defiance.
But after a little while their hearts softened and they chose to take control of their own behaviors.
They chose to have self-government. So, find more about those skills on the Teaching Self-Government
parenting course. Skill number 3 is no power struggles. You cannot be a power struggle
parent. They are power struggling against you so if you engage, it will never end and everyone will
become emotionally wiped out. And people will do horrible things just to get their way. In fact,
they're used to that. Oppositional defiance leads to a person escalating their power struggles
more and more harder and harder just to get their way. So, if you're pushing against them too then
they will just push to the next level. If all of a sudden you're not pushing against them,
let me tell you what will happen. First, they'll push harder to see if they can get you to engage
because they're used to controlling you. It's a habit. But after a while, when you don't engage,
you teach them about self-government, you teach them the skills that they need for success,
then soon they think, "Oh, I guess I don't need to fight anymore. We can just talk about it.
I can be understood and it can all go away." It does take training. It's going to take patience
on your part but they can do it. I promise. They can make progress. I know some people
think that oppositional defiant kids can't make any progress. They can. Stick to it,
don't give up. It'll take more time for your child but they can do it. Speaking of sticking to it,
that reminds me of tool number 4 which is consistency. An odd child requires consistent
direction. They do not thrive in environments where things are changing all the time where
you're making up new parenting practices, new rules, and you're not following through or
overly following through, and controlling. That feels like manipulation to them. And if they feel
manipulated, they will push harder. They need the honest truth on everything. They need to
know exactly what you will say when you're going to correct them. I'm talking word for word. The
skills that you use to correct them should be skills they know and that are very predictable.
If they're predictable, their anxiety level goes down and they stop pushing so hard. If they stop
pushing so hard and their anxiety level goes down, they move from their emotional part of their brain
to their cognitive logical prefrontal cortex part of the brain. When they're in that part of the
brain, their heart can actually be heard. As long as they're in their emotional part of the brain,
the heart is silenced and they won't be able to have that change of heart that you're looking for
and that they need. We've been talking about oppositional defiant disorder. And what is
required to help a person become a little bit more calm and have a change of heart? Do you know that
knowing how to change your heart is actually one of those things that leads to emotional maturity?
Well if you've liked this video, I know that you're going to love the next video which is
How To Increase The Emotional Maturity In a Child? Click on that link and watch that video now.