- Hello, hello.
In today's video, we are discussing how to coach someone
that is absolutely new.
Somebody that you've never coached before,
somebody that you may not even know,
Now, before we get into it,
I have an invitation for you.
On this channel, we release new videos
that are pretty, pretty good and that you would enjoy
and will help you wait your coaching practice,
get new clients and really be a transformative coach
that you truly want to be.
So go ahead and hit that red subscribe button.
Before we even understand
the structure of your coaching session
or a potential structure of your coaching session
that you can use with a new client.
I wanna make a little disclaimer.
I wanna make sure that the context of our training today,
our video today is set clear.
When I'm doing my first session with a client
I am not trying to say this will be it.
This will solve all their problems.
I cannot do that.
I cannot go right in with a new client
and the first session completely transformed their life.
What I can do is I can bring focus and clarity
in their life.
I can bring attention to what's important.
What's not important in their life
and bring that focus to our coaching session
and our future coaching conversation.
Transformation is often thought as a moment.
It doesn't happen as a moment.
It happens as a series of moments that eventually lead
to that one final moment that finally tips over.
Have you ever had a conversation with a friend
where you obviously see the challenge that they've had
and you constantly tell them to try a technique,
try a technique, try a technique, and they never do.
And then tender seminar and the hear the same technique
and they're all excited to use it
and see the transformation in their life
and go, "Hey, see, I learned about this technique
and it totally changed my life."
And you wonder, "Hey, I've been telling you
about this technique for days, months, years than then
why didn't you hear it then?"
And that happens because it's not only about
if the technique is powerful,
if what you're sharing is powerful,
but also about what the person is listening
and are they hearing what you're really trying to say?
Are they in the state of mind to be able
to experience the transformation
that you're hoping to expose to them?
And that is why you have
to understand your coaching context.
In the first session is not always about creating
the perfect transformation.
It is about starting the journey of transformation.
Do you contextualize each change, every single conversation
to lead to that big transformation
that will shift the life of your client?
So our intent with the first session is not
to get the final outcome, it is to lay the foundation.
And with that context in mind, let's get into understanding
how you can structure your coaching sessions
with a new client.
The first step with the new client is
to always start with honesty.
You want to put all your cards on the table
and you want them to put all their cards on the table.
Very often the person
that is coming into the coaching session
hasn't really bought into the idea fully.
They have a sense of anxiety and fear
and they don't know what the line is and where the line is.
And because of that, if you don't start with honesty
and clarity towards what's the intent
and what are they coming and bringing to the table,
it might be a little difficult for them
to really share what they need to share for us to be able
to build a really good connection with them
and be able to take them on this journey.
So start your coaching session
with an open-ended question like this.
Hey, listen, I know this may be new for you.
I don't know if you've had coaches before
or not have coaches before.
I really would invite you to share with me
what is it that you're feeling right now?
What is coming up for you?
How do you feel?
Let me share with you what I'm experiencing.
Now I wanna give it a pause.
The reason why I would share my experience
right now in this moment is
because it allows for vulnerability
and allows for camaraderie between me and them.
It helps us build rapport
because I am starting with honesty.
And because I am sharing my honest emotions
and feelings about that coaching session
it allows for them to share their honest feelings
and emotions about that coaching session.
Now, if you're in a business setting
you can also contextualize it slightly differently,
where you can say, hey we've been connected
with each other through your leader.
Now, before we get into the session
I know there might be a lot of assumptions
that you might have made about coaching sessions
because of past coaches that you have worked with.
Let me give you a little bit introduction about myself
and I would love for you to introduce yourself to me.
And also let's talk about what are the potential outcomes
and areas that we can play in.
The reason why it's a little different
when you are doing in a team setting or a company setting
is while (indistinct) is really welcomed there too
and should be encouraged,
sometimes being deeply vulnerable
in a workplace is really difficult.
And you don't want to promote that
when you're just getting your foot in the door
where the company may not be ready for it
and your client that you're working with
may not be ready for it.
Start with an open-ended vulnerable honest question.
This will allow you to put your chips on the table
and hopefully because of your honesty
your client will open up and share their experience in
that moment with you in all honesty.
Starting with honesty opens up
the playing field so much more
because it allows for us to really be present
and available with everything that we have to offer
from our end and from our client's end.
If you don't have a rapport with your client
it is very unlikely that they will be fully present with you
while in a coaching session with you.
So go ahead and take that time
and establish that rapport between you and your client.
Once you've established rapport.
Now you wanna set up the context of the conversation
at least for the day
or maybe even for your coaching engagement.
Context informs the conversation that is going to happen
in that time that you spend with your client
or invest with your client.
Like I set up context before I even started this video
for you to really know what
to expect out of this conversation.
It is important for you to set
the same context between you and your client.
When you set context by explaining why you're there
and what you're expecting to create as between you
and your client and help them also set up their context as
to what is the outcome they expect from the conversation.
It allows for a dialogue that is contained in a way
where you are more likely to focus towards the outcome
that both the parties want.
Setting up this context is vital for
the greatest outcome from the conversation.
The third thing once you've established
some vulnerabilities, and honesty, some rapport,
and you've set up context for the conversation,
it may be a good time to set up some boundaries.
These could be loose boundaries.
It doesn't have to be the specific contractual boundaries
that you may have signed before or may sign after,
but just some boundaries
that kind of establishes how you're going to play together.
How that coaching conversation is gonna look like.
For example, you may say, hey, listen,
we are gonna be together for another 45 minutes.
I highly encourage you to turn off your phone
and turn off any notifications that may pop on your computer
if you were doing in a virtual setting.
So we can really have a dialogue.
And I would do the same
while we are in this conversation right now
let's commit to 45 minutes of presence and attention
to the conversation to.
Do you have that time?
If you don't have the time, let's take a pause
and come back when you actually have that time available.
If it is a company or a team member that you're coaching
you may wanna set up boundaries
that are contextual to their workplace
to saying, hey, as we are talking that's within
the timeframe of the company.
Let me tell you still, we do have privacy
between your conversation and my conversation.
I'm not gonna reveal this information
to your immediate boss.
Or whatever that boundary is that you want
to establish between you and your client
when you are having a dialogue within
the agreements that you've had with a company
that has hired you.
Now that you've established boundaries.
The fourth step is to establish where is your client today?
You see one of the greatest outcomes
that I believe the first coaching session can have
is clarity and sense of focus towards where the client wants
to go based on where they have.
The reason why that is so important is because
once you have that frame of reference,
of where they are and where they want to go,
you can now work with them
to really help them get to the outcome.
You can help them identify
why they're not getting the outcome.
You can help work with them to be able
to accelerate their speed of outcome, speed of delivery.
And that really makes your coaching powerful.
So the first question that I would ask my client is
to understand where they are at.
The question maybe frame that, where are you today?
How are you in your workplace?
How are you in your emotional self?
How do you feel yourself your life is going right now?
This question is simply there
to establish some kind of grounding as
to where your client is that
so they have an understanding of self.
Once they have identified where they are emotionally,
spiritually in their life, in their careers,
in their relationships.
Now you can explore the next opportunity,
which is where do they want to go?
You wanna ask your client knowing where you are,
if I was to extend your time,
if I was send you on a journey of a year from now
and explain where you are a year from now,
or share with me how you are a year from now,
what would you say?
You're almost asking your clients to time travel
or what we call future pace themselves into the future
and go, this is where my life is gonna be.
This is where my relationship is gonna be.
This is how my career is gonna look like.
This is how my relationship with my kids
is are gonna look like.
This is how my health looks like.
you are future pacing them
or getting them to time travel into the future
because this establishes what would be the greatest outcome
that they could imagine for themselves
from now till a year from now.
Now a lot of times what answer they would give now
and what answer they would give
for themselves a year from now,
say six months off your coaching, would change wildly.
Because at this point, when we are starting to coach them
they may not have the greatest vision of themselves.
They may have a good vision of themselves a year from now,
but they may not have the greatest vision of themselves.
And that's okay.
You simply wanna start from
where they think they will be in a year from now
because that gets them started
and makes the conversation easy and honest
and flowy without challenging them too much
about what they believe to be true about themselves.
Now, I know a lot of coaches believe that in
the very first session you should bring in all the fire.
I believe that coaching is an evolutionary process.
That habit change is an evolutionary process.
That thoughts are evolutionary.
You need to evolve with time.
You cannot jolt them into an action.
You have to let them simmer and build on top of each other.
And that is what I like to do in my sessions.
I know that the vision that
the person's gonna share with me in the first session
versus in the fifth session would be dramatically different
because I would have shifted their identity
to see a greater version of themselves.
I don't have to jolt them into it.
I can move them into it.
Now, based on your coaching style, you could jolt with them
and think about a higher version of themselves
and invest the rest of the conversation
in having them have a bigger version of themselves.
And that's absolutely okay if that is what you wanna do.
But my personal style suggests that I would like them
to just identify a way they would like
to be a year from now.
And as I understand it, I start working with them
on understanding why has it not happened?
Or what has happened in the past
that would inform them today
that it won't happen in the future?
Because most people have really great goals for themselves,
but they know they're consistently failure,
that they very often don't achieve the goals
that they put themselves towards.
So my next question is about what has happened in the past
that has held you back in achieving your goals?
What are some of the circumstances that may have happened?
What are some of the people that may have held you back?
What are some of the skills that they may not have had
that has held them back in the past to achieve
the goals that they want to?
And once they start to identify that
I would ask them the next question.
The next question, which is related to this question is
what do you think will stop you in the future?
What do you think will happen in the next 12 months
that will stop you from being able to get
to the goal that you're setting up for yourself?
What are some of the people
or circumstances that may stop you?
What are some of the skills that you may not be able
to acquire that may stop you?
The reason why I'm asking these questions is
because everything that they share as a challenge here
is something that will that will give me
the insight towards what may be
my focal point on working with them.
The challenges that have held them in the past
might be holding them right now.
The challenges that they think will hold them in the future
may actually hold them into the future.
I am bringing awareness, not only to me as a coach.
I am helping them bring awareness
to themselves as the coachee.
Most of us, when we don't hit our goals
simply shrug it away as chance,
as luck, as something that just didn't happen.
Very few of us, sit down with a journal
and say, why did it not happen?
What stopped me?
What were the behaviors that stopped me?
What were the habits that stopped me?
What were the people that didn't contribute to my growth?
What were the skills that are required
that weren't really there?
What were the opportunities that I missed?
Asking these questions, having them list them down
allows them to go, oh, that's why it didn't happen.
Now I have awareness.
I have clarity towards what may block me in
the next 12 months to not get to my goal.
We all want to get to our goal.
This client of yours do as well, right?
This is bringing awareness.
And that will lead me to my final question.
Knowing what we know,
knowing what we know about where you are,
where you wanna go, what has stopped you in the past,
what may potentially stop you in the future,
what do you think you need
to get to your goal in the next 12 months?
At this point if you did a good job until now
by being present and exploring those questions deeply
would open the floodgates of ideas and strategies
and input that they have to get to their goal.
Habits that they need to develop.
People that they need to collaborate with.
Ideas that they didn't pursue.
Strategies that they need to pursue.
Actions they need to take.
They would know exactly what needs to happen
for them to achieve the goals that they want to achieve.
Now, they also have an action plan,
a set of strategies that they can implement
that will help them get the outcome in the future.
That will help them create progress that year.
And that would conclude our session
on a positive actionable idea set that we can start
to explore in the coming coaching conversations.
The first session, the way I design it
and the way you wanna follow on is about discovery.
It's about clarity.
It's about focus.
It's about saying, do I even understand?
Do I even know what I want out of this?
Do I even know why it hasn't worked in the past?
Do I even know where I wanna go?
It's not the final outcome like we talked about.
It is a guide, it's a journey.
It's a starting process to get the outcome.
It is the first foundation.
And hence it requires tremendous amount of clarity
and strength in knowing that the foundation is strong.
Now I wanna give you something on top of this.
You see, we realized one of the big things
that happens for new coaches is they're not able
to plan their coaching sessions well enough.
They're not able to go into the coaching session
and really know what to do,
which is why we wrote a quick guide called
the Coaching Sessions Planner.
You can download that guide on the page
that I'm linking below.
If you enjoyed watching this video
go and hit that red subscribe button.
Like this video.
Leave me a common sharing,
what do you think is powerful stuff
that I talked about today
and what are some of the things I should have added on?
Thank you so much for watching.
This is Ajit Nawalkha and you're watching this on Evercoach.