It does occur to me that you have this
absolutely fantastic British accent,
and occasionally I know you have
lived in the United States now
for 20 years, is that right?
I have.
20 years, and I have spoken to many actors
who have transitioned to the United States
and they start to lose their accent.
You have not.
Do you feel that you have assimilated to being an American?
I do think that I have learnt.
I've learned a lot of things as an American.
I've learned how to fill a glass of wine
all the way to the top.
(Conan laughing)
That kind of thing.
That is what we do.
We think nothing of going right up to the rim.
Right to the brim,
because my uncle Hank, my American uncle Hank tells me,
he says, filling it halfway causes a wasted journey.
So that was very smart.
But I will tell you the one thing
that I haven't been able to figure out
is how to wear a baseball cap.
It just doesn't work on me.
The whole game is up.
If I try to wear one, I kind of look like
Ron Howard's elderly brother, or something.
(Conan laughing)
I have one here.
Oh, there you go!
Oh yes!
You look like Ron Howard's brother who's an accountant, yes.
That's right.
It's just not a look that is ever gonna work on me.
Yeah, and that is something that seems to be
kind of mandatory in the United States
is that they insist that you wear a baseball cap,
or everyone has to wear a baseball cap.
I don't wear a baseball cap because -
I'm going to compliment you now.
You have a very chiseled lean face.
I have the large bloated pumpkin the Irish are cursed with
and when I put a baseball cap on,
it only makes my face look fatter.
It accentuates the fatness of my face.
And then my self-loathing kicks in,
so I don't like it.
I think that you and I should just
knuckle down and start wearing baseball caps.
You know what?
I took it off 'cause I was ashamed,
but I'm gonna wear it.
Okay, well I think it looks terrible.
Okay, I'll take it off.
(Conan laughing)
I'm massively shallow, so you said that
and my vanity kicked in.
Well, I think you're obviously well dressed.
I like your jacket.
Is that a motorcycle jacket?
Is it a motorcycle jacket?
I mean, it's like a motorcycle jacket if Dior
did a motorcycle jacket.
But once upon a time I was wearing a motorcycle jacket.
It was in a bar in Brooklyn.
I went into a bar and I sat down to have a drink
and this guy was like, he was very drunk
and he looked at me and went, nice motorcycle jacket.
I went, thank you so much.
And he said, you have a motorcycle?
And I went, uh no.
And he went, so why you got a motorcycle jacket?
And I went, you're wearing a (beep) baseball hat.
Do you play baseball, you bastard?
(Conan laughing)
Does that story end with you being beaten very badly?
Yes.
It ends with me being beaten in the kidney.
Welcome to America, yeah.