♪ Hos in the backseat ♪
♪ I'm riding shotgun ♪
♪ You want my digits ♪
♪ Call 911 ♪
(intense rock music)
(siren wails)
- I know that you're held up here,
and in a bad state,
but I got you some entertainment.
(Dangle whimpers)
I brought you some entertainment.
(Dangle whimpers)
Yeah, you ready?
Ready?
(Jones rolls tongue)
♪ Oh ♪
(officers beatbox)
♪ Jim Dangle ♪
♪ Oh ♪
♪ Dangle ♪
♪ Oh ♪
♪ Jim Dangle ♪
♪ What ♪
♪ Tanning bed ♪
- Whicky, whicky, whicky, whicky, whicky, whicky, ah.
- Jim Dangle.
Ha-ha.
- [Williams] He look like he like it.
- [Jones] Yeah.
- He likes it, ha.
(siren wails)
(both scat)
♪ Coconut Cluster ♪
♪ Coconut Nut Clusters ♪
(both scat)
(wood bangs)
- Hey.
(Jones laughs)
(door knocks)
- Sheriff's Department.
- Yeah, we're selling Coconut Nut Clusters
for the Sheriff's Athletics League.
- [Man] Get off my property, mother (beep)
- Oh.
- Whoa.
- [Man] I'll slap you.
- Sir, we're just selling candy.
(gun fires)
Oh, oh. - Oh.
- Go, go. - Oh my god, I'm hit.
(siren wails)
(radio crackles)
- [Man On Radio] All at prices so low
and quality so high,
it's gotta be High Sierra Carpeting,
right off I-80. - Hold up.
- [Man On Radio] At Exit 57.
- You wanna us to buy carpet?
- No, just wait.
- [Man On Radio] Great carpeting, better prices.
♪ And the installation is free ♪
♪ Free ♪
- That was me.
- No. - That's you?
- [Dangle] That's you?
- That's me. - What?
- You're the installation is free guy?
- I'm the High Sierra guy, yeah.
- Hey. (officers cheer)
(officers clap)
- Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah. - Congratulations.
- I know, I can't believe it, man.
I cannot believe it.
- [Williams] Is that why I see all the bling bling?
- Ping pong in the ears?
- [Williams] Over there?
What's the earrings all about?
- Whoop, whoop. (phone rings)
- Just come on, just come here.
- Denzel Washington works. - I gotta show you something.
Just come here.
- No. - Oh my goodness.
- That is not your car.
- Black on black. - Wow.
- How much do you get paid that you can a-
- I'm, hey, I'm getting paid $200
every time my wonderful commercial comes on.
- But I heard it, like, four times
coming into work today.
- Yeah, it's on, like,
every 90 seconds. - Cha-ching, cha-ching,
cha-ching. - Yeah, blah-blah-blow.
- Aw.
- Blah-blah-blow. - Dude.
- Blah-blah-blow.
- Wow. - Bloom, bloom, bloodling.
- Hey, open it up.
- Look out, look out. - Sit in it, sit in it,
sit in it, sit in it. - Look out, look out.
Open the car for Jonesy.
(car beeps)
(all shout)
- What? - No, no.
You got a thing in your pocket or something.
- No, no.
- It's voice-activated? - Okay, no, I do.
I got it. - Aw, you got me.
- I'm hugging a star.
Look at that.
Trudy, get the (beep) off of me.
- Hey, Jonesy sandwich.
- No, don't.
- Okay. - She's on me.
- Jonesy sandwich. - A Jonesy sandwich.
- I don't want her on me. - No, no, no, no, no, no,
and I don't wanna be hugged, like, everybody.
- Okay. - Okay?
- Okay. - Just calm down
- We're all adults.
(siren wails)
- You're my pal, you're my friend.
We got something special,
and nobody, nobody's gonna come between that, huh?
(Jones chuckles)
Jones and Logan.
I like how that sound.
(Jones sighs)
We're gonna have adventures.
- Hey, come back here.
- Many, many.
- Officer, do something.
- Ha-ha. - He stole my purse.
- [Jones] Come on.
Logan, away.
(Logan neighs)
(Jones shouts and grunts)
(Jones sobs)
(siren wails)
Ladies.
Yep.
Ha-ha.
Hey.
- Hi, can I take a picture of your horse?
- Would you mind? - Oh, hey, of course.
Couple stallions right here, huh?
- Yeah, he is.
- All right.
(Jones laughs)
- Thank you. - No, no problem.
You are real cute.
- Thank you. - You go to university, or?
- [Girl] Nope.
- No?
Well, y'all, what is everybody doing later?
- Hey, Jones, hey, how you doing there?
- Hey, how you doing, man?
- [Garcia] I'm all right.
Hey, ladies.
- I'll get back with y'all, ladies.
All right.
What's up? - Yeah, well, uh,
doctor says I can't get within 15 feet of a horse there.
- Can you hold on for a second?
- Oh, hey there, Jones.
Remember me?
Garcia, your partner?
Hello.
- Hm?
- I mean, we are still gonna be partners, I mean.
I mean, I know I can't ride a horse,
so I'm reckoning you're gonna come back
in the Crown Vic with me.
I mean, uh, we do have 14 years here, buddy.
- Well, 'cause you're,
I mean, because you're, you know.
- Well, yeah.
- Because you're incapacitated
doesn't mean that I, you know,
I gotta go back to, you know, that.
I'm here, man.
- Well, you are here, and you are my partner,
and I guess, if you wanna leave me
hanging out to dry, that's fine.
You don't need me, then I don't need you either, okay?
I'll talk to you later.
- Hey, old boy, Garcia,
I do need you, hold on.
Come on back.
- Yeah?
- Say white girls love horses.
(girls laugh) (Jones laughs)
(siren wails)
(car doors close) (man chatters on radio)
- [Garcia] Buenos noches, Pedro.
- Oh, hi. - Hey, Terry.
- [Jones] Hey, Terry.
- Hello, ooh.
- [Garcia] You wanna know why we're here?
- Why? Is there a fight?
- No, there's not a fight yet.
- Are you gonna eat these?
- Terry, we got a call
that somebody, an employee here,
was turning tricks up on the roof.
- No way.
- Yeah.
- Yes way. - Yeah way.
- That's, no, not cool.
- Well, what's not cool-
- [Jones] You know anything about that?
You know anything about it?
- No, I'm afraid of roofs, so it wasn't me.
I'm allergic to them.
- You're allergic to roofs? - You're allergic to roofs?
- [Terry] I'm allergic to roofs.
- Uh-huh. - I mean,
you can ask my doctor.
- How does that manifest itself?
How are you allergic to roofs?
- If I look at them, I throw up.
- You know what I'm allergic to?
Lies.
- We had a description about a gentleman
of your height, your stature, with a little hat
on top of the roof.
- What was the person's name?
- Well, I guess- - Is there a name?
- It might rhyme with Mary or Harry.
- My name isn't Mary or Harry.
My name is
♪ Terry ♪
- Well, hold on, Terry.
- What? - Hold on
for one second, okay?
- What?
- Listen, you know what?
You're misunderstood, okay?
- I'm totally misunderstood.
- You're misunderstood,
and, um, I wanted to know,
what if you and I were to go up on the roof?
How much would you...
Would you...
I mean, how much would it be?
- For...
For what?
- If I wanted to get, like, a little bit of (beep)
How much would it be?
- (clears throat) Five dollars.
- Terry, I'm a cop.
- What? - I'm holding your hand,
and I'm a cop.
- Five dollars for the tacos.
- You just.
(all chatter)
I just asked about a (beep)
You know.
- Ouch.
What are you guys doing?
- Tacos, Tacos, Tacos, Tacos is self-serve tonight,
ladies and gentlemen.
Sorry about that, Pedro. - Pedro, call the police.
Call the police, I'm being arrested by the police.
(siren wails)
- I see a blue pickup truck, robin's egg blue,
a 1973 Dodge Laredo with expired tags.
It's turning, it's pulling in.
There's an orange door with a number 27,
and I see a sign that says Sparks Self Storage.
- [Johnson] Oh, brilliant.
- [Psychic] Oh, they're pulling their energy back.
That's it.
(psychic sighs)
- [Johnson] Thank you for your light, and your energy,
and everything that you bring to the table.
- [Garcia] Ask her if she saw Elvis.
- I want you to shut up.
You must run into skeptics all the time.
- I do.
- How long have you been looking for evidence,
four weeks now?
- Mm-hm, yeah. - About four weeks.
- Uh-huh, yeah, and how many leads do you have?
- We got a couple.
- No, we got none.
- You got zero.
Now, you have your answer.
Thank you. - We got it.
- Thank you.
- Oh (gasps) scrotal sack torn, bleeding,
waving in the wind, flapping, flapping.
You're gonna lose your left ball
before midnight tomorrow night, oh.
Oh.
- What?
- Um.
- I'm gonna lose my what?
My ball?
- Your testicle is in great danger.
- Oh my gosh.
- [Garcia] Oh my god.
- What?
That's bull (beep) that's what it is.
I ain't scared.
- It's not bull (beep)
Think positive.
- Bull (beep) lady. - You can deflect it
if you think positive. - Bull (beep)
Whoa.
- Whoa. (skater laughs)
(Jones pants)
(skater laughs)
(car starts)
- [Garcia] Oh my god.
(siren wails)
- [Dangle] Ba-dah.
- Whoa. - Yeah, oh.
Oh, yeah. - Okay, okay.
- Well, it's a very exciting day for us.
We had a little money left over
in the budget last year,
and we finally got ourselves one
of these newfangled bomb robots
they're making over in Israel.
(all shout)
(all clap)
- Hey, bomb robot, have a cold on.
(can cracks) (robot whirs)
- [Dangle] Just delicious human beer.
Beer for robot.
- [Travis] Can it do a toast?
(robot whirs)
- [Dangle] Beer for my robot homies.
- [Jones] Uh oh.
♪ Bada, bada, bada ♪
- Yeah. - Go, y'all.
- Go, robot, robot.
- Danger, danger, Will Robinson, danger.
- Oh.
(robot whirs) Oh.
Oh!
(Jones shouts)
(all chatter)
- [Dangle] Sorry, sorry, I didn't do it on purpose.
- [Jones] You did it on purpose, Jim.
- I did not do it on purpose.
- [Jones] You know what that psychic said.
- I didn't do it purpose. - Oh, oh, get it away.
No one understands.
- [Johnson] Oh.
- Oh, man.
(Jones whimpers)
Come here, Jonesy.
(siren wails)
(soft electronic music)
(upbeat hiphop music)
♪ Support the police ♪
♪ Oh ♪
♪ Support the police ♪
♪ People flip us the bird, always disrespecting ♪
♪ I'm just doing my job, serving and protecting ♪
♪ Walking the beat, my badge is my bling bling ♪
♪ Rob my street, I'll send your ass to Sing Sing ♪
♪ Rolling in the roller, cruising in the cruiser ♪
♪ I'm A number one, and you's a three-time loser ♪
♪ With a fine and $40 bond ♪
♪ I put the cop in cop a feel ♪
♪ Hell yeah ♪
♪ Step outta line, your ass is mine ♪
♪ Tell the judge 'cause you got no appeal ♪
♪ Damn ♪
♪ Hos in the backseat, I'm riding shotgun ♪
♪ You want my digits ♪
♪ Call 911 ♪
♪ I'm the man in Reno ♪
♪ The police, the pabo ♪
♪ A C-O-P in the county of Washoe ♪
♪ Count on my protection a-coming through ♪
♪ Don't disrespect me and I won't shoot you ♪
♪ You down with C-O-P ♪
♪ Reno SD ♪
♪ You down with C-O-P ♪
♪ Reno SD ♪
♪ You down with C-O-P ♪
♪ Reno SD ♪
♪ Support the police ♪
♪ Peace ♪