Hey there, it's Clay with modernlove.life and this is Relationship Inner Game.
Now this video is the second in a series on how to connect with your ex and specifically
in this video I'll be sharing with you how to talk to your ex again after coming out
of something like say Active No Contact ideally or maybe some form of Passive No Contact or
you know, whatever.
Right?
So as you are going and starting to talk to your ex again, what you want to do is to keep
in mind that you might have some sort of agenda.
You might have something that you want, like maybe getting back in touch with them or getting
back together with them or you know, trying to make it seem like the two of you are in
love again or dating again or attracted to each other again.
And all of that.
And you know, these are the things that we talked about in other videos and all of that
stuff about whether or not these are things you need to worry about or whether or not.
These are just things that people think they need to worry about.
Either way, you might have something on your mind that you are trying to get to happen
as you are going and talking to them, but what you really need to understand is that
they have their own emotional experience as well too.
They have their own life.
They have their own desires.
They have their own dreams.
They have their own hopes and fears and everything in between.
It just like you do.
And the more that you can dial into that, the more that you can stay connected to that,
the more that you can even have curiosity about what their experience is, the better
the quality of your conversations are going to be with your ex.
So when it comes to what to talk about with your ex or how to talk to your ex, again,
what is most important is not really the words that you say, uh, but really kind of the energetic
level that you are bringing to the interaction, to the dialogue, to the moment.
And if you genuinely care about what your x is, experiences.
If you have a genuine sense of curiosity, if you have a genuine sense of interest, then
your ex is going to be much more open and willing to, uh, start to reveal some of their
emotional world to you.
Okay?
And of course, the more of themselves that they reveal to you on that emotional level,
the deeper the emotional connection is going to get, right?
Because there are, of course two levels of communication.
There's the surface level communication where we're just talking about, I don't know, sports
or TV shows or the weather or celebrity gossip or, uh, you know, just just random BS that
people talk about all the time.
And then there's this deeper cut of communication where we're actually talking about emotional
things.
We're actually talking about hopes, fears, dreams, how we feel in any given moment and
things like that.
And that is where you want to dwell.
You want to cut down below the surface level of communication to this more substantial
emotional world.
Because when you dwell in this emotional world, that is how you form an intense emotional
connection with your ex or really anyone else for that matter.
But this definitely works with ex and as you can start to strengthen this emotional world,
what's going to happen is the quality of the connection is going to grow stronger and stronger
and stronger to the point that you know you're going to have the opportunity to perhaps meet
up in person, go out on dates, even get back together again, if that's something that you
choose to do.
But really this all comes down to how you are bringing yourself to the interactions,
how you are bringing yourself and what kind of awareness and consciousness and curiosity
you are having about your ex's experience.
You have to understand this, not just in some kind of like intellectual level.
Like, oh, she is going to college to study business administration or something like
that.
You have to like actually be like, wow, what's it like to be the first person in your family
to go to college?
And, um, you know, to, to you probably on some level feel like you need to study something
responsible so that you can really be successful or some, if you didn't have to study that
MBA thing, what is it?
You'd want to study what is it you would actually really want to study?
Would it be art, would it be poetry, would it be chemistry?
Would it like what would it be?
Right?
When you start to actually get curious about these sorts of things, that's how you can
have a deep emotional connection and that is how you can talk to your ex again.
Okay, so anyway, this has been Clay with modernlove.life.
This has been Relationship inner Game.
If you are watching this over on Youtube, what you can do is you can go down below this
video into the description box and you can click on a link there that will take you over
to our website Relationship Inner Game and all you have to do is just fill out this quick,
painless, like 30 second questionnaire that just tells me a little bit about your relationship
and your breakup, kind of what the background is and all of that.
And once you fill that out, I'll start sending you some tips, advice, and strategies that
will really help you to talk to your ex again.
Okay?
And if you're watching this video over on our website, modernlove.life, what you can
do is you can again go down below this video and there'll be a link that will take you
over to another page where we'll show you some more of these interpersonal skills that
we call Advanced Relational Skills that will help you to connect and deepen your ability
to have these positive emotional interactions.
With your ex while bringing the two of you closer again so that you can get back together.
Anyway, this has been Clay with Relationship Inner Game.
If you want to leave a comment down below, that'd be greatly appreciated.
Just, you know, tell me what kinds of videos you would love to see in the future and we
might go ahead and make those videos if they're popular.
Anyway, thanks again and I'll see you next time.