He's gonna take you back to the past
To play the shitty games that suck ass
He'd rather have a buffallo
Take a diarrhea dump in his ear
He'd rather eat the rotten asshole
Of a road killed skunk and down it with beer
He's the angriest gamer you've ever heard
He's the Angry Nintendo Nerd
He's the Angry Atari Sega Nerd
He's the Angry Video Game Nerd
This is a video game.
This is what you immedately think of whenever you hear the term.
It's the Atari2600.
It's is defined a classic.
Even though the game are so simple and the graphics are so primative,
it has a charm that can never be matched.
The objects and charactors can barely represent what they are suppose to be.
That's the whole beauty of it.
You'd have to use your imagination.
Sound Effects...
(8-bit huge explosion sound effects)
Just awesome.
The lack of music just enhances the mood.
It's that special kind of atmosphere when it is in the middle of the night...
that you sit in the glow of the TV with sound of crickets.
The Atari has the longest life-span of any home video game system.
When people say Atari, they're usually referring to the 2600.
but, in between its existence,
Atari made other systems that came and went.
One of these systems was the Atari5200.
It was meant to replace the 2600.
Although ironically, it fails and fade away while the 2600 lifts off.
Why don't many people remember this and why did it die off so quick?
Because it's a pile of fuckin' shit!!!
Why? well look at it.
Look at how huge this beast is ginormous
Why does it has a door on it? Is it a video game console or a fucking closet?
Even AC adaptor weigh a million ton.
Well plug this son of the bitch in here
There we go
get all the shit out of the way
Where do I plug the other end in? Does it go into the Atari?
Well you can look all over the system, but there's no power connecter.
There's a seperate box that you have to plug it in.
Now seriously, have you ever seen one of these thing?
Other than the atari 5200 I haven't.
So you plug this bastard it in.
There's one wire coming out of the system. You plug that into the box.
Whoa! See that? That can't be safe. Look sparks, no joke.
So anyway, the AC adaptor and TV actually share the same wire.
So I don't know what they were thinking,
Maybe they were thinking to be more convenience to have less wires to be running across the floor.
But they really fucked up
Later they rereleased the atari 5200 with traditional two seperate cable instead, you know, this thing.
But that one only has two controller ports instead of four.
Now if you want to hook that thing up to that TV, but it's not going to be easy.
I mean, look at all these games
Everyone of them has it own AC adaptors and RCA cables or that weird box thing all going into that same TV.
So I don't know how we going to do it? But we have to do get back there and plug this sucker in.
(SMB: underground pipe music)
(SMB: time running out warning)
(SMB: UG pipe music runs faster)
(SMB: Mario's death music)
That TV is out of the question.
It's a little too busy back there.
but that's ok
because I believe the only way true way to play an Atari is on an old piece of shit like that.
(Spyhunter music plays)
DAMN DAMN!!
(Blaster Master Area 1 BGM)
FUCK
(DKC K.Rool theme)
AHHH!!!FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK...
Now all that trouble that I went through
Let's play some damn game.
Well, we haven't play the games yet. But I can definitely tell you that the cartridges sucks.
because they don't have end labels.
I mean comeon! The Atari 2600 games were all conveniencely labeled so you can easily pick out a games.
But the 5200, you have to pull each one out to see them. What a bunch of shit
Alright, let's try this one. Ok here we go
Now listen, when you hit this power button, the box make a weird clicking sound.
I'm afraid that this thing might blow up.
This controller is a piece of shit.
What's the most important aspect of playing any fucking game is being able to fuckin' play it?
When you fuck'n play with fuckin controller!
What do you do when the controller doesn't work? You're fucked.
This is the reason why the system fails!
This, name of god, heaven and hell everything in between, Every creature on earth, far reaches the galaxies, by inter ring of the universe, every megaverse ultraverse!
Let it be known!
Let the world be known!!
This controller is fucking horrible!!!
Well, to tell you the truth, it is true that the controllers were notorious for malfunction,
they're innovative during the time.
There one thing they're analog were capable to do more extensive movement.
It has a pause button believe it or not, was a new thing back then.
Also it's has 2 buttons on each sides, which is a bit too excessive for these types of games.
There's all these numberic buttons.
What the shit is this?
Is this thing a phone?
What is this all for? Is it like, talking to intergalactic space aliens, or flying fuckernauts or astrobastards?
Now there's another one: Trackball controller. But, it's an ungodly abomination that begs for apocalypse.
Look at it, it as big as a VCR or a DVD player
It's big enough to be a game system, let alone the controller.
Look, It's almost as big as a Nintendo. No, look I think it is slighty bigger than a nintendo!!
What a beast!
The ultimate question is... Does it work?
Well does it...?
No, it doesn't...
What a piece of shit.
Well we can't play the game, but at least we can look at them.
You don't have to stand for this shit! There are alternatives
Did you know that you can plug in a sega genesis controller into an Atari 2600 and it'll work.
See, that's the interesting thing about Atari. You can find all sort of stuff that is compatible.
As for the 5200, there exists third-party controllers made for the reason of replacing the shitty controller that the system came with
Let's take the trip on the cyber road of the internet and take a look.
(Paperboy music)
There we go.
*smack* UGH!!
Alright, ok, let's play this bitch.
FUCK!!!!!!!!!!