hi lovely people,
hello
Today we thought that maybe, we would talk about
what its like being...Gay
I came out when I was quite young
Because as you can see from my coming out story video
I didn't actually have to come out, I was just really gay
What do you mean by being really gay?
I painted myself in rainbows
I did not
Stereotypical girl who oh she's really gay
especially at school to get that title
short butch hair, wears male clothes
or boy clothes, what we'd say is a dyke
I was not that C: and you were not that, so I dont know what you mean by
that you were really gay
I was dressed like this
I just really fancied girls
to me being a lesbian is purely about
fancying women
and being a woman yourself obviously J: and being a woman
you can't be a man and say "I'm a lesbian"
well actually there are me who say that J: Male identified lesbians
that's a thing according to the L Word
I think its before the L Word Oh really? C: I think we were just introduced in that program [?]
me being a lesbian is just about being a woman
who fancies women and falls in love with them
that's all it is nothing to do with the way I dress
or the length of my hair
I identify being a lesbian
its just its a way that I can communicate with people to say
that's my sexual preference I just, I find women attractive sexually
you know I don't have to use it in the sense that
I belong to a group we do have lesbian friends
but you know like every time you meet friends
you meet people in situations where you're in similar - like you know in school
or at uni or dating to be honest
that's how we met our friends (C: Lesbians stay friends with everyone)
cause Clauds went on a date
and made friends, and then now we're friends with her girlfriend too
I think its mainly because we're all women
that we're friends
my uni friends came up the other day
and I came out in my sort of early mid 20's
not that long ago and they were friends when I was you know
straight when people thought you were straight
yeah well I had a boyfriend so I guess you know you would class me as straight
I was in a straight relationship
I just don't like straight sex it kind icks me
in that sense she's really gay
it was a bit different for me because
I'd already gone to school, I'd already had boyfriends
I'd had sex with guys I went to university
and in university you often really find yourself as cliche as that sounds
and so I kinda knew who I was as Claudia
and that in itself allowed me to then
tap into my sexual preferences a little bit more
cause once I felt comfortable with who I was
I could stop exploring lots of different things
slowly came to the realisation that I was Gay
for girls
Gay for Girls
Gay in life - happy JUST HAPPY
just swanning round life is cool
basically I'm just Claudia who all my friends knew
exactly the same
I like having sex with girls now
"so are you a lesbian" I was like yeah I guess
in the way you know society likes to name things
but did you not go through a period of being like am I bisexual
there is a scale yeah the Kinsey scale
from 1 to 6 Jessica's a 6
really gay, 0 would be our friend Viki
who's like really straight J: sorry Viki
we're outing you as super super heterosexual
so I would say I was probably
*giggles* which is conveniently there
you're like a 5
so what was I saying I got really distracted now
I think I prefer I prefer having sex with women
so that's why I'm kind of up there on the scale
but I could emotionally fall in love with a man
probably but that would be unusual to happen
because at the moment I am like well I am marrying a woman
to be honest I don't care if your fancyingness
was 99% men and 1% women
I wouldn't care as long as I'm in that 1%
of women you fancy
we're not homosexual
we're Claudiasexual and Jessicasexual
that's like corny but also amazing I feel
I have only ever fancied women in my life, but it's unimportant
because I could have always fancied anyone
aliens even
to talk about gay aesthetics
there is a certain look that most people will judge
that is gay that is not
I definitely had a lot of problems especially in university
coming into groups
because I didn't have that look
and often I'd get quite a lot of glares and people would be quite rude to me
and assume that I was a straight girl
who was just a bit confused and like well no
when I first sort of came out, I did, I must say I did go through a little bit of
I better cut all my hair off, I'm gonna have like really short hair
so I can re-identify myself
a lot of my friends were like no you don't need to cut your hair off
like you won't look good with your hair short, I was like oh ok
it's so beautiful this hair
so but then I realised but why do I care
you shouldn't have to feel like I'm advertising my sexuality
because that's a private thing
When I was a teenager I was like
Oh no girl will kiss me, this is awful argh
and so I definitely felt that there was this period where
maybe I have to try this whole looking gay thing
and maybe girls will come up to me. I wore trousers a few times
there was maybe a HOODIE
I've only recently managed to make her put joggy bottoms on at home
*gasp* don't share my secrets
but then I realised that you know what it doesn't really matter
It's sort of sad because gay people have always fought to be equal
and be accepted, when you go into somewhere that's dominated by them anyone should feel welcome
I think a large part of that comes from people who
Their own identity, the way that they are
is not accepted by wider society
so then there is a certain level of resentment maybe
with people who are accepted in wider society
and feel like they can come into that safe space
I've had people come up to me, I went to this feminist group at university
and a girl came up to me and really started laying into me
the moment I arrived, "I don't think you should be here, because you don't understand feminism
at all, its absolutely disgusting the way that you dress"
I quite liked this dress
thanks ugh
(J: [something] white lace) C: it's probably because it was pink she thought you were like somehow not feminist
It was lovely YOU'RE CONFORMING
"look it's just awful the way that you dress, I mean what is this for your boyfriend?"
Does he make you do this? does he make you do your hair like that?
think you're gonna attract him? attract other men?
that pre-judgement and assumption
I think we're all guilty of it
an assumption of what type of person they are by how they're dressing
Jessie likes vintage pin-up look
you can kind of imagine what house she probably lives in
It would be very surprising if I was in a pub
and you met me and I said that I like to drink Guinness
and I am a drug dealer
Hmmm no I think no because those are both arty and left wing
you wouldn't expect you to say
you work in stocks and shares, then again I'm already judging
Judging yeah C: and I hate being my pigeon rolled job
of a *quietly* dentist because that's what I do
god she can't even say it
I always avoid asking people what they do
because I don't think you should judge someone by what job they do
which is exactly what I was just doing
the message we can go away with
is that gay people come in all shapes and forms
so the bottom line is if you're gay or lesbian
or queer or whatever you wanna identify yourself
it basically just means I find that person
sexually attractive, they are the same sex as you
we're all the same we're all in the rainbow
you don't need to fit the certain stereotype to identify as gay
that is just who you are
and you don't need to be afraid of being accepted
no I don't think I know anyone who is completely
solid in who they think they are
I think that's partly what life is about
discovering who you are and what you like, and that will change as the years go on
you can never box yourself J: no
sometimes I like to tomboy it up a bit more sometimes I like to be a bit more girly
but she does not paint her nails
I have no nails
all lesbians should have no nails
just saying, if you're planning on coming out
(J: might cut that out in case there's a child watching)? C: That's a good tip
also another good tip to identify - see if another girl is possibly a lesbian if you're not sure
look at her nails, if shes got really long manicured nails
she's probably not a lesbian
we'll do that in the next video
"how to identify a lesbian"
Is your friend just a friend? or does she want more?
and is waiting for you to make the first move
Like this video if you enjoyed our interesting...ramblings
about lesbianism and how lesbians look
and subscribe for more