Hi, I'm Nicholeen Peck and I teach at some of the premier homeschool conferences around the world.
In fact, I homeschooled all of my four children, all the way through kindergarten all through
graduation. And people usually want to know Nicholeen, what's the secret? How did you do it and
not burn out, what makes a really good homeschool, and I love talking about homeschool. I'm also
known for my parenting and talking about parenting because I teach parenting through the lens of
the principal self government around the world too. And both of those things are going to be
important today because they actually go together for this recipe of what makes a good homeschool.
In this video, we're going to spend some time talking about self government, and then some
of the components to a good home school that you might not have realized before. Alright, so first,
we have to talk about self government because all of my teaching, I always start there. That is my
guiding principle when it comes to education, relationships, self improvement, leadership. Of
course, there's many principles that I love, but self government seems to tie them all together,
because it brings everything back to the individual person's responsibility and ability to
make the choices to improve themselves. So what is self government, that's important for us to know.
So self government is being able to determine the cause and effect of any given situation,
and possessing a knowledge of your own behavior, so that you can control that.
So what that means is that a person understands cause and effect. Many people understand cause
and effect as it relates to Newton's laws or to like if I touch a hot stove, I might get burned,
but they don't understand cause and effect as it relates to their relationships, and to their
homeschool environment. They don't recognize that if they allow chores to take all day long,
for instance, that people will not have a love of learning, if you don't have a love of learning,
then you're not going to have a good homeschool environment. And if you don't have enough
connection to other people, you also don't have enough learning. But let's talk about
our relationships too. So did you know that if you yell at your children, they suddenly trust
you less, and they try to work around you and manipulate around you. So you've taught them now
not to fully trust you. That's cause and effect. People don't know, children don't know that if
they don't do what their parents tell them to do, their trust decreases as well. Years ago,
I did treatment foster care for troubled teens. And what I recognized was that none of them
even though they were in their teen years, fully understood cause and effect as it related to their
own behavior, and their own relationships. So when a person learns self government, they learn the
cause and effect of any given situation. And then they possess a knowledge of their own behavior
so that they can control that. This means that they know themselves. So when a person learn self
government, they do the hardest thing a person ever does. And that is examine themselves. So a
truly self governed person looks at who they are, and says, who ought I to be?
And then how am I going to become that version of myself? Then they make a plan for themselves
to head in that direction. Now, part of my secret sauce for homeschool is self government. In fact,
one of the classes that I'm asked to give all over the world at homeschool conventions is a class
called the not so known secret for homeschool success. And I always tell them the not so known
secret for homeschool success is actually self government. So you being able to control yourself
as the parent is the key piece at making sure your homeschool does exactly what it needs to
and your children. Learning how to self govern is going to be the key piece that helps them
become motivated and excited about education. I know that seems a little strange to analyze,
because most people don't go there. They think it's got to be a curriculum. It's got to be a
schedule. It's got to be and I do have other videos where I talk about homeschool schedules
and stuff like that. So be sure and find those. But in this one, I'm hitting straight to the core.
The core principle is you learn how to control yourself. You will have good homeschool days,
and this means parent and child. But I want to take that a step further and talk to you about
what that really looks like in the homeschool. I'm going to talk about what this really looks
like in the homeschool And what is going to do to your relationships. But before we go there,
click the subscribe button now. There are many videos on this channel related to homeschooling,
or parenting and parenting is homeschooling. Think about it. That is actually the number
one lesson you teach your children is the lesson of family, and what all that means. So click on
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So let's talk about what it really looks like in a homeschool if a person is self governed,
because it's going to have a different effect than what normal schooling would have. So when people
think of education, they think of a person sitting down at a table or a desk, with books and paper
and pens, and they are extracting information and recording it. But that's just the academics.
That's just the intellectual intelligence. What about the practical intelligence,
the emotional intelligence, the social and spiritual intelligence, if you are truly
giving someone a full education, all of those intelligences should be part of the educational
environment. So what that means is that a person needs to have full picture education. So what does
education look like for a child. We're going to draw a picture that I think will help you remember
what education should be like. So what does education look like for a child, we're going to
draw a picture of a wagon wheel. So the center of the wagon wheel represents the core values,
or the maybe morals, the beliefs that you hold dear, these are the things you want to teach
your child more than anything, a good work ethic to be an honest, good person, all those things
are in the core values. So you want to deliver that to the teaching, or to the child, this is
the hub of the wagon wheel. Okay, so the hub of the wagon wheel is the thickest piece of wood,
it carries the weight for the entire load that that wheel is going to be driving down the road.
So this is super important stuff. All right. So out from that core of the wagon wheel
are the spokes. The spokes, in our diagram here represent the things that we teach our children.
So we might teach our children good hygiene, good manners, we might teach them how to work, we might
teach them certain chores, or responsibilities, we might teach them how to read how to do math.
Why do we teach our children any of these things? Well, it's because we actually have a core value
or principle that makes it so that we think that teaching is important. So why would you teach
your child to read, for instance. Probably because one of your core values or principles is freedom,
a person cannot decode the world, they can't have a say in the world, they can't say, no, that's
wrong, or that would take away our freedom, if they don't know what is being said in the law. And
if they can't write it down to so that they can write to their congressman or their legislator,
they need to know how to extract the information. So this leads to freedom. So all of the teaching
is rooted in those core values. If it wasn't, we wouldn't bother with the teaching. And there are
some things you probably don't bother teaching at your house because you don't find them valuable.
You say, okay, I don't know why those people grow a garden, that's not valuable. Because, you know,
you can just go buy the food at the store, and it's maybe even cheaper, and it's way less work.
So you don't find it valuable. So you don't do it. I garden, though. And the reason why I garden is
because one of my core values and principles is freedom. And I want my children to know that no
matter what happens in the world, they can have food for their families. And so for me that self
reliance, that's part of freedom is important. So we teach our children how to grow food
at our house, as well, and how to canned food and cook food and all those kinds of things. Right?
Okay, so then there's this band that goes around the wagon wheel, and it holds all of this teaching
into the core values. This band is what I really want to focus on today, the very most.
This band represents the relationship. So a person learns core values, and they learn all
the things that they need to in your homeschool if the relationship is good with the material,
and if the relationship is good with you. Now, I know there are many people that will sacrifice
the relationship in order to push the chores, you know, in order to get that teaching done or
to protect a core value. And so what they will essentially do is like, you know, remove, say,
say this one's math over here, okay? Say this is math, and they're like, my child won't do math.
And so they just say, I'm just gonna make him do math, you know, and I'm gonna force it. We're
gonna argue about math. So now they're essentially creating a gap in their relationship band, what's
going to happen to math, it's going to fall out of the core values that won't even see him important,
because the emotions are now bigger than the teaching and bigger than the relationship. So
if you sacrifice the relationship, and you try to put weight on this, and Dr. It, everything falls
out even the core values. So if you want to make sure your children get the core values in your
teaching, and they learn all of the subjects that they need to as well, then you're probably going
to want to focus very heavily on making sure you have a very good relationship with your child.
That is kind of like the secret sauce and homeschool that most people don't talk about.
They talk about curriculums and they talk about, you know, narrations, and copy works,
and all those kinds of things which are important, and I've used many of them. But those things don't
do nearly as much good if you don't have a good rapport with the child., if you can't discuss with
the child talk openly with the child and bond with the child. Those things have to happen first.
So let's now talk about how to do that. Because that is what's going to make a really
great homeschool. So how do we strengthen the relationship with our children? I know some people
are homeschooling because the relationship with their child is strained in the first place. So
then, then it seems like oh no, could I even do it? Now you need to do it more than ever,
you've got to put the focus on your relationship. You know what at first, just have fun with
learning. There's different phases of learning, I have another video where I talk about the
different phases of learning. And I'll be telling you about that video at the end of this video,
because I think you'll really like it. But there are different phases of learning. And the very
beginning phase has a lot to do with connection to parent and connection to the teacher. And
if there isn't connection to you, you've got to start there. Which means sometimes you take a few
steps back, and you say, let's read together, I'm going to read to you and we're going to discuss,
or let's go on a field trip. Maybe not just one day a week, which a lot of homeschoolers do but
but let's go two times a week, right? Let's just start going and seeing things. Let's visit
grandma, let's work together. Let's make cookies every Wednesday, you know, let's do things that
are fun. And let's just develop our relationship and strengthen our foundation. Here's the thing,
you can learn K through 12 in four years, if you love learning that has been proven,
so great. So you don't have to stress. So just love learning first love being together. And
then they will love the learning love discussing. And then the sparks will start flying and then
they'll love the learning. That's what you really need to get to. That's what makes a
great homeschool. Later, when they learn full self government, they will know key skills,
skills, like how to follow instructions, except no answers and criticism, except consequences
disagree appropriately. They'll learn how to keep themselves calm when they get frustrated,
and set their schedules and keep to it. That's all part of a good self government teaching.
And I teach that in many places on this channel, and on my website teachingselfgovernment.com.
But when a person is fully self governing, they're bonded to everyone and they're self motivated.
In order for you to teach them the skills they need to be self motivated,
you have to constantly be focusing on that bond. So make sure that all the corrections,
all the praises all the teaching moments, those are all times where you feel closer to your child
because you had the moment it's true, you can feel closer to your child during and after a correction
than you even did before. And those corrections can be moments that strengthen the relationship
instead of break holes in it and tear it apart. So don't stress. Don't take the time clock so
personally, allow yourself to love each other, to bond together to love the education and then
you'll hit another phase of learning where you'll have to bring in more beef to that educational
environment. Even if your child is 16 and you're just starting to homeschool, make sure you start
with just strengthening the relationship first, and charting a course for where you want to go
together in this educational journey. If you have loved this video, I promised I would give
you another one that's going to be great for your homeschooling. It's called Five cultures of
great homeschooling. So click on the link to the five cultures of great homeschooling. Now you'll
learn about the different phases of learning. You'll learn about what will create a great home
environment so that you can have the relationships that you hope for and the learning that you hope
for in your homeschool. Click on the link now.