>> This episode is sponsored by The National Pork Board.
>> Yeah man, get some grilling tips
and some recipe inspiration by clicking on the link below.
>> What's the most unorthodox way you've cooked something?
[laughing]
Not counting the thermite.
>> I've taken the iron in a hotel room,
and just set a can on it.
You know, you bunch some T-shirts up, it makes a hot plate.
I definitely will pop the top off of a soup
and rather than taking all the time
to pour it into a saucepan
>> Oh, you don't want to do that.
>> I'll just set it directly on and turn on the gas
because eventually it starts bubbling up I'm like,
"It's warming up." [laughs]
>> Oh, the depths of your laziness knows no bounds.
>> What are you talking about?
Okay, you want to know lazy?
Half the time I don't even warm up my soup.
>> You just eat cold soup out of a can?
>> It's a real thing.
>> Is it running down your chin and onto your shirt?
>> That happens too.
>> Or your bare chest maybe, because no one else is home?
[Brian laughing]
That's happened before hasn't it?
>> Shut up. >> It's happened!
>> I'm not comfortable with this.
>> Oh my god.
[chill music]
>> Robot Narrator: Cooking pork on an engine block.
Sort of.
>> Holy cow, Jason.
This is it.
This is the first episode shot fully
at the new Modern Rogue world headquarters!
>> Oh yeah, from beginning to end.
>> Yes. >> It's all right here.
We're going to cook food,
we don't even have an oven or a stove!
>> Well you remember, during the walkthrough
we were talking about on this spot,
we were like we have to have a cook-out,
and we were thinking like when are we going to have a cook-out,
how are we going to do a cook-out, how do we make an episode?
>> I was thinking a barbecue grill.
>> Yeah, but then The National Pork Board says , "Hey,
"why don't you do something with pork?"
And I'm like, "What's the catch?"
And they say, "The catch is you have to tell everyone
"that pork chops are finished
"when they're 145 degrees on the inside."
>> And you let them sit for three minutes,
and it's nutritious. >> And also, and delicious
and protein, and all that stuff,
let's cook some pork.
We don't have a grill, we don't have anything here,
we have a freaking car
I know that cooking on an engine block
is technically possible.
I've never done it, I don't know how to do it,
I want to try it.
>> All right, let's figure it out.
>> I don't know where we're going to put these, but I figure
let's go ahead and prep six of these all the same
so we can be vaguely scientific about it.
>> Oh this is science.
You didn't tell me there was going to be science.
>> I figure we'll just make little pockets
with a little bit of olive oil.
>> We should wrap these pretty well too.
>> Oh my gosh, are you kidding
with all the exhaust and smoke and stuff?
All right, we'll put a little bit of olive oil
>> You have olive oil spray?
>> Yeah, you're goddamn right.
>> What is this, the future?
>> Put a little, this is Everything Salt,
can't go wrong with that.
And I actually, I grabbed some sprigs of
this is rosemary from my back yard.
>> Not doing a whole lot to make people think
we're not a couple. [Brian laughing]
>> BRIAN: All right so here,
I figure we'll double wrap all of these, right?
>> JASON: Yes, yes.
>> Triple wrap.
I don't want olive oil on my engine block.
That would probably cause fire.
>> That's fair.
Oh, I didn't think about that, that could be dangerous.
>> Yeah, safety and all that.
Wait wait wait wait.
You want the seams opposite sides.
Look at that.
We got this, we got this.
>> Are we going to do all these the same?
>> Yeah, I think we want them as close as possible.
In fact, here, you start the next one
and I'm going to wrap this in wire I guess.
>> Oh, that smells good.
I like that.
I'm going to go heavy on it.
>> I put a little wire on this to keep this all sealed up.
>> Occasionally I quote unquote help my wife cook
and there's just a lot of, "Oh sweetheart,
>> BRIAN: "What're you doing?"
>> "Brown the meat."
"What does that mean? Brown it?
"What are you talking about?"
>> Oh, I did read an article
one dude was in the middle of putting the stuff on there
he had some wires moved around
had an exposed battery terminal.
Duh, don't let metal touch
your exposed battery terminals in your car.
It bridged it and it burned the hell out of them
because he showed a picture of his finger
missing a little divot
he was like, "There should be flesh there."
>> Oh, oh! >> Yeah.
>> Yeah, don't do that.
>> BRIAN: That's a lot, okay you're good.
>> JASON: Is it? >> BRIAN: Yeah.
>> You're going to like these.
>> Yeah. I will, I will.
>> Where do you think the hottest place is going to be?
>> Wherever there's metal,
because metal doesn't like to hold onto its heat.
Basically, air is a poor conductor of heat
but metal is a very good conductor of heat.
So like when you finish baking a cake
and you open it, stick your hand in that air
that air is 500 degrees or whatever,
and you will not experience unpleasantness
because it's a poor conductor of heat,
whereas if you touch the pan that has the cake,
it will be very unpleasant and it'll burn your body,
because it's a very good conductor of heat.
So what I figure is we want to find
whatever exposed metal parts are on this thing,
or a cozy spot that's warming up
that we don't mind it taking a little while to get there.
>> I'm thinking we put it by the cylinders,
because that's where the explosions are.
>> We got six identically seasoned chops.
This is the part that I'm betting
The National Pork Board won't be thrilled with.
We got to figure out where to shove them inside of this Jeep.
>> I'm surprised they're okay with this.
[Brian laughs]
>> Here, I guess let's pop this open
and I'll go ahead and start it up
and we can figure out what parts get hot.
[car starting]
>> Well right on the plastic it's
>> 141, 142, oh you know what we got the FLIR camera.
According to this, the engine is hot.
So you see that tube over there, super cold
it's the coldest thing here.
You can see that there's hot underneath
I mean obviously if we were going to
tuck it all the way down here
this is the part that makes me nervous though is like
I don't want to have my car suddenly chew up a pork chop
and get ruined or nothing.
>> JASON: This tube right here?
>> BRIAN: Yeah.
>> That is 164, 165.
>> Yeah, and then down here
>> JASON: Tube is 157
>> Like slightly to the left.
>> JASON: Right here? >> BRIAN: Yeah.
That's, I saw 174.
>> Yeah it spiked for a second.
>> Eh, it's still
seems like it's all around
I mean, luckily the right temperature I guess.
Oh my god.
Tailpipe, tailpipe. >> BRIAN: Tailpipe.
You didn't fall for the pork chop in the tailpipe?
>> [laughing] The muffler
like if we could strap it to the muffler,
what's the muffler at?
>> Honestly, it's only 127.
>> BRIAN: Oh.
I mean there's hot stuff down there.
>> Oh [beep]
look at that.
>> BRIAN: 400 degrees?
It looks like we're looKing into
the molten core of the earth.
Some day we'll go down there.
>> JASON: Yeah, I think that's our spot right there.
Can we get there?
>> I don't think we can set anything on it.
Maybe I wire all these together as a brick
so they can't slide anywhere
and they go in that sweet spot.
>> Okay, do we need to space them apart though?
>> I mean, ideally, but I don't want them dangling all around
falling all over the place.
I say we do, if this is the hottest spot,
I say we do three in a brick right here,
and then one up top there,
and then maybe two on the tailpipe strapped on there.
>> Okay.
Yeah, I think you're definitely
going to have to drive around to heat it up though.
>> BRIAN: Okay.
There's no battery terminals, right,
the battery's over there.
So I think we're okay.
So I'll tuck it, yeah, right there.
Here.
We don't think that'll slide around, right?
Because when this comes down, everything will be
the flavor will be sealed in.
>> Oh yeah, it's like sous vide.
>> BRIAN: Yeah. [laughs]
[echoing] So we can be vaguely scientific about it.
And then the last one we'll put
I guess on the tailpipe somehow.
[hood slams shut]
I mean, that seems fine right?
>> Sure, right?
>> BRIAN: All right so here, you put that on top
I'm going to put this over
actually put, maybe that should go
on the inside of this first
>> Oh, okay.
Yep, I gotcha.
>> And then set that on top.
You got it? >> JASON: Yep.
>> And then tighten
right, that's on there? >> JASON: Yeah.
>> There you go.
>> JASON: That'll stay.
>> So I guess what, I drive around for a little bit
it's got to get hotter when you're driving around.
>> Yeah, I think you're going to have
to drive for a while though.
>> I mean what, five, 10 minutes?
>> I'm thinking like half an hour.
>> Half an hour?
>> Yeah.
>> Oh, but you're one of those people
who loves to overcook your pork.
>> I'm not trying to overcook it.
That's not my agenda!
How dare you?
>> I say we check it
here look, here you hold onto the FLIR camera
and the temperature gauge.
Figure out the temperature now,
I'll drive around for five minutes,
and then you tell me the temperature.
>> The exhaust pipe is 125 degrees.
>> And the pork?
>> And the pork itself, 120.
This isn't going to work. >> Again also, that's the metal
I think it's going to work fine.
>> Not going to work.
>> Assuming I don't get a pork chop
in a cylinder or something
I think we're going to be good.
>> The cylinder's where the explosions are.
>> Get ready for five minutes of hard cooking.
>> JASON: All right.
[car revving up]
>> BRIAN: I'm building a path!
>> JASON: We lost a pork chop.
[echoing] That'll stay.
>> BRIAN: No!
>> The decidedly not even kind of warm pork chop.
>> BRIAN: What temperature is it at?
>> It's not even close.
79.5.
>> BRIAN: 79.5? >> JASON: Yeah.
>> BRIAN: That's colder than the air.
>> That's what I was telling you.
Yeah.
>> BRIAN: Huh.
I do want to know if the other ones are still there.
That was the one from back there, right?
>> JASON: Yeah.
>> What's the temperature at?
>> JASON: Oh it's plenty hot, it's 172 now.
>> Yeah, right?
>> JASON: But yeah, I guess it just
I don't know when it fell off.
[car revving]
>> No, nothing's where we left it.
Except for the one block.
Okay this is, this is still room temperature.
And this is off to the side.
I'm going to tuck in more over here
and more over here.
We're just putting everything in that one hot spot.
>> Yeah, you think?
>> BRIAN: I'm more worried about us losing it
and I guess I'll drive on the highway for a little bit.
>> I think so, yeah.
[hood slams shut]
It's not going to work.
>> I did do a little bit of gardening though.
I started building a path.
It's a very short course.
>> JASON: There he is.
[door slams]
>> That was 11 minutes at highway speeds.
Number one, I'll be happy if they're where we left them.
I realize like, what if they're getting delicious and juicy
and then what if suddenly like flames came out
as the grease combusted or whatever.
So this guy, this guy's definitely not.
>> Negative.
>> All the way in, all the way in,
there we go.
>> Well, it's at 100 degrees
so that's definitely not right
>> Not safe.
And we're sure that's the hottest spot we're able to find?
>> Well
hottest spot that we felt comfortable putting the chops.
Maybe our best bet is to retie it
to the exhaust, and try that again.
>> Man, I feel like that fell right the heck off.
At least here, everything was right where I left it
and I'm tempted, like I'd rather just drive longer
with these safe than you know,
drive for a half an hour and come back
and it fell off the tailpipe.
You know, it's worth pointing out that these are
yes, high temperatures,
but way lower than an oven or grill would be.
So it probably will take a lot longer.
>> Usually you turn the oven up to like 350, 400 degrees.
>> This is like the reverse of the easy bake oven.
This is the hard bake oven.
[Jason laughing]
All right, I'll just drive around some more.
>> We'll be here.
[hood slams shut]
>> It's now been what, 35 minutes total?
>> A leisurely pork cruise.
>> Every time I look, I'm just glad it's still there.
Ah yeah, says the outside is 130, 150
>> Hey hey hey >> 150!
>> 150.
>> Meat, meat thermometer.
>> Right here, do it.
>> I'm going to do the outside one first.
>> JASON: Ah, 112.
>> Let me try the top most one.
>> JASON: Better, 115.
>> BRIAN: 116.
That's 110.
If we keep going, I'm convinced
these are going to reach 145.
>> You want to keep going?
>> Or, we found a flamethrower on the property.
>> Let's give it another half hour.
Another half hour.
All right, drive.
[hood slams shut]
>> BRIAN: 40 more minutes.
>> You think that's going to do it?
>> BRIAN: I mean, they might be overcooked at this point.
I would love for them to be overcooked,
because I've driven an hour in change now.
>> Let's do this.
>> Everything's still in place.
>> Outside 145.
>> Really?
>> 127, 126
>> Well this is the one that's right next to the cooling line
so maybe the stuff down there is better.
>> 143
>> All right, here we go.
This one's going straight in
130
[Jason groaning]
Here, let's see the one on the bottom.
This one says 135, it's real close.
Well I guess it makes sense that
the brick would take longer.
So this guy's the closest.
>> But none of them are there.
>> Man, it just takes forever.
>> You know what that means?
>> I know, I think it means grab the flamethrower dude.
All right, in a bitter fit of irony,
it turns out that not only is there
a flamethrower on the property,
>> There's a grill. >> There was a grill.
[laughing]
I mean in retrospect, I guess we could've just uh
this still says it's at 135.
So we only have 10 degrees to go on this guy.
The brick was a bad idea.
I think that if we drove another 40 minutes,
we would definitely be there,
because we saw every 30 minutes
it went up another 10 degrees,
and I think it would have gotten there.
But by putting them all in one big thing,
that definitely means we had to do a longer drive
the little ones worked out much much better.
[blowtorch hissing]
Oh no I don't think we have much gas.
This flamethrower is out of gas!
It's going to come down right to the very end.
[blowtorch hissing]
That's cheating!
That's fine.
[Jason laughs] [blowtorch hissing]
Ah, this is the last of the gas!
I didn't expect the flamethrower to be
you definitely just melted
you melted things.
You know what, the brick is out of the story.
You're out, brick.
We're going to drift across the finish line on this one.
>> Do you have any thermite?
[Brian chuckling]
That worked pretty well.
>> There's a burn ban on it unfortunately,
otherwise I'm so in there.
You smell it right?
>> Yeah, there we go.
Hey can we rename your Jeep the pork chop express?
>> [laughing] Yes we can.
>> JASON: What do we got?
>> 146!
147.
>> I think that qualifies.
>> Oh dude, we definitely did it.
We definitely did it.
This guy's going to sit for three minutes.
>> Get that other one going.
>> It's at 150 now.
[blowtorch hissing]
So yeah, this guy is hanging out around 155
which makes me wonder if we should
just leave this in for a bit.
>> JASON: 147. >> 148,
149, do you know what I'm almost terrified to think of?
What if they really were at 145
and it just takes a while
for the meat thermometer to show it?
>> And you overcooked them?
>> I hope they're not overcooked.
I don't think they're overcooked.
This guy settled at, well it's still going up.
[laughing]
[silverware clatters]
>> All right, moment of truth.
>> BRIAN: I just want it to be beautiful
and tasty, and gorgeous, and perfect.
And not taste or smell like a car.
>> Oh ho,
well hello Mr pork chop.
Smell that rosemary? >> Yeah.
Hey hey hey hey hey, holy cow.
Look at that.
Oh, you've got one of the fancy ones.
>> JASON: I did.
Lucky me.
>> BRIAN: There it is.
>> JASON: It smells really good.
It smells really really good.
>> BRIAN: I just realized that
both of us should have knives.
[laughing] I'm cutting up your food like you're a toddler
forget it, I'm not doing it. [Jason laughing]
>> I was very happy with the progress.
[Brian laughing]
Mm. >> BRIAN: Dude, that's perfect
>> That's actually pretty damn good.
>> Rosemary was the right touch.
>> Yeah, I think so.
>> So in this case, I think the fact that
my Jeep is in good working order was actually a problem,
because all of the heat was effectively managed.
>> Oh, make no mistake though, we won.
>> I mean it worked.
>> We are eating pork chops
>> That were cooked in an engine block.
And every single time we checked,
it was 10 degrees warmer on the inside
than the previous time.
I am absolutely certain we could have taken 30 more minutes,
but I really wanted to play with the flamethrower
and I didn't know that the flamethrower was out of gas.
The most important part is we hit that magic number of 145,
and actually a little bit beyond.
>> And that we're eating delicious pork chops.
That's the most important part.
>> Oh yeah, thank you to our friends
at The National Pork Board.
Click below for more recipes and tidbits on cooking pork.
>> Yeah, my guess is you will not see
drive around in a Jeep as one of them.
>> Yeah, probably not.
>> Flamethrower, you might though.
[paper burning]
>> It's like, "Hey, have you tried that new
"Modern Rogue food truck?"
Like, "Yeah, they just have pork chops and uh
"it takes like two hours."
>> You're like, "Hey dude, been to the new
"Modern Rogue food truck?"
They're like, "Yeah, I went last Thursday."
"How was it?"
"Still waiting."
[laughs]
>> "The chef is out there driving around."
>> "He says he's in Arizona.
[Jason laughing] "It's going to be great."