Right
Right hello hey ellie elenor welcome back
So when we had your last performance review, which seems like it was
Just yesterday. It was about six months. Okay, so when you were hired for this job
We went over a list of your skills that we thought would qualify you to you being assistant for
One of the most important people at this company this company in this state arguably the most important person
But when we went over that list
We determined that you didn't have skills like
hand combat
swordmaking
archery
sniping. I think was a big one there wasn't a tonne there. That was a lot of boxes not many checks
Yeah, right, so over the course of the last six months. You've done quite a few things. Yeah, you've been
To Sniper school yes, you've practiced Krav Maga. Yes, you've been in the gym. Yes
Been working with onnit for the shoulders
Bulking up. Yeah
You can be more impressive
The thing was when we started doing all this I could never predict. What the
Apocalypse was going to be I knew that some calamity was gonna befall our
civilization, but I didn't know what it could possibly be and what that what the threats to me would be I just I knew they
Were out there right, so here's the deal
I'm taking a look at it. I went to the accounting department which was a nightmare, but it really was terrible
They were really glad to have me and im never going back
But they ran some numbers for me, and they determined that if you take a look at everything now statistically
the biggest threat to me is you
because of all these skills you have and
Your proximity to the me on a regular basis right now. You've become
Yeah far too threatening and dangerous for me to work with huge problem
huge problem, you shot yourself in the foot
Less so problem for me more so problem for you because
That's kind of like your job around here
So that puts now you're a threat to yourself you can see how this is working out
Threat to everything that you encountered that you know you're it's it's it's scary, and I'm worried about it
Okay, so bottom line is I'm not sure that we can work together anymore. Are you firing me
No, this is 2018 so nobody technically gets fired ever from anything
Yeah, just like put them in a closet somewhere, and hope they resigned on their own. special project right special projects
You're also a religious person, okay, so
We're on by full screen. Who in turn is owned by
I think ATT or Disney?
That's what I hear either way Satan right so. This is a company that is ultimately owned by Satan
I think you being a religious person that could be a conflict of interest for you
You called the calendar a diary for a year
Yeah, that's another reason why I don't think this is gonna work out, but diary just got too much well
I just don't like you know I don't want people to think I have a diary it sounds a lot like im getting fired
A little bit, but not really you're too threatening now. It's just I don't know what - don't know what to do about it
We were in the wrong direction with it. Yeah, I guess we did
I guess we did not hear to resign because this is ridiculous. That's totally fine, so
Here's what I think we should do. I think you should continue the training, okay? I think that you should
Grow in skills as much as you can and you should do it like over there just if you we're here right now
This is you that way that way if you do wink start working your way up like people who directly
above me
And they get killed or something tonight
Or they just disappear in the middle of the night who knows who's to say and I get promoted I
Can't be blamed for that. I've got you
I can't be blamed for that okay, and so I think it's a good idea if you continue your training
but you just don't you don't do it with me - you two -
Enemies any but I have to know that I want to put ideas in your head
The legal department and the accounting department. Yeah, they cause us way too much trouble do official fun police
I think they are a little bit. Yeah, it's like anything that the legal department hears is fun fun probably means
illegal
liability IP yeah
We're like who's trying to make stupid videos for the internet
Calm down. Yeah. I can't no but wonder what it'd be like if both those departments just went away
interesting okay well
That don't acknowledge that wink little bit on the side. You're gonna need a new assistant
Probably huh do you think I need a new assistant someone that I can then train up
To take you on if necessary that's now my biggest threat so
Now they have a very specific goal in place so obviously that person. I can't let you know who they are
I'm gonna get like that. Older system newer system fight a Jaguar. I think just like a jaguar
That can deal with a diary
not a good assistant That could be fun
Very very very smart Puma yes, what's your favorite skill You've learned so far
sniper School was the most like weird and fun helicopter machine gun that's pretty good. Helicopter machine gun was good
its all been great. The guys at onnit have been awesome
So what we do without my tutelage like without
having me in your life on a day to day basis
Ill still be around yeah like my whole goal
Up until now is to learn how to keep you safe, so I guess what does it actually look like to?
become like an RPG character, yeah That will be the focus now
Thinking a bit of like offensive driving there you go. Yeah, decent Mad max-ing . then lock-picking cuz you give my every like fallout
Skyrim all them you've got a little or just regular buildings the building's they have locks you gonna use like your hairpin or whatever
um
I don't think that's how it works, but okay some bushcraft stuff
I think making fires making shelters purify water just in case you get stuck out there, me? well one
there won't be as much face-to-face time like that and I know that'll be really disappointing for you because as
An industry leader and a very inspiring personality. Incredibly inspiring, they wouldn't give me a blog if i wasnt inpiring
You would let you literally the father figure of inspiration
Probably at least been digital one. I mean let's not be assholes about in the internet space I
Without me around though. You're still gonna need some kind of directive, so I have a system that worked out
I'm gonna rely on technology the way, I kinda do but yeah, I'll show that to you later
It's good it allows communicate, but ya know. It feels like right well end of an era back a little bit
Are you disappointed that you must be disappointed? Oh, yeah?
You should yeah, and he said I'd send it's another sadness ill never experienced being without me, but i imagine its like drowning
Yeah, what to where to go? Yes, it's like it's gotta be suffocating right yes
It's a thing to be like staring down the barrel of you might be really frightened for your future
Yeah, should be I mean I understand the same. Whos going to pay for my lunch now? whats that?
Huh, well Ellie it was a pleasure to work with you yeah, I'm sorry you became
Such a threat so quickly yeah, but that's just the way life works
This is what happens with assistants they become too deadly we come too deadly. Yeah classic tale
everyone can relate to that.everyone everyone, in every aspect of business
Are you going to miss this. yeah, miss it, yeah, say it one more time.
I'm gonna miss waited miss this yeah, really. Yeah, all right bye well in closing
It was a scale of 1 to really good. It was like
5, on a scale of 1 to really good it was about there
But for like right there, it was like it it was like a foot and a half. That's what it was well
Good luck. Where are you? Are you still gonna sit outside my office yeah?
I'm going to the bus
bye Ellie
I'm really worried now. I'm worried cuz I can't see her
I'm worried because I can't see you. I'm really worried all right. Bye