I mean, there are days that I do give up,
and those days make me super sad.
I call my mum crying, like,
I don't want to do anything apart from sleep.
Narcolepsy has changed my whole life.
Excessive daytime sleepiness is what I think it defines as.
They say that people with narcolepsy feel like if a normal person
was not to sleep for 48 hours and then just be put in a working day.
That's how I feel every single day.
If, four years ago, you were to put me in this position now,
and tell me, "By the way, in four years,
"you'll have to sleep eight times a day,
"you won't really be able to sit down for lunch, dinner
"or breakfast without falling asleep,"
I'd be like, "There's no point in living. I don't want to live."
The narcolepsy has changed my life.
I don't really go out and socialise that much in the evening.
I get very paranoid or, I suppose,
I get very panicky if friends invite me out,
because I want to go and I want to go and experience that sort of
stuff with them, but I'm so scared that I'm going to fall asleep.
I can't get an office job.
I wanted to do interior design at university -
I couldn't even finish school.
I can't even sit and have a meal without struggling.
I've had boyfriends I'm out for dinner with,
and I always start doing something weird,
and he really was like, "What the hell are you doing?!"
It made me feel so small.
I've had boyfriends in the past actually who have broken up
with me because of it.
I would say Maikel is one-of-a-kind
in the way that he deals with what I've got.
I first met Annabelle when I was on a skiing holiday in 2014.
We went out for some pizza that evening with a big group,
and came home and then, my brother Nick said,
"Did you notice that blonde girl just falling asleep all the time?"
and we were like, "Oh, she must have been so wasted.
"Jesus, that's weird!"
The day after, I saw her in the apres ski bar again,
and I was like, "How drunk were you last night?
"You just kept falling asleep."
And then she was like, "Well, actually,
"that's not just the alcohol."
And then, when you said that you'd googled it and it was like,
such all bad videos and everything, and then I just said,
"Just get to know me, and trust me, it's not like that."
I remember one time we were in Paris and people were just staring,
kind of you were some circus act. Yeah.
That was one moment where I was really close to stepping in.
So, when Belle is drifting into an episode,
I can kind of notice that straightaway,
because one moment we're talking about something and she's
quite lively, and then the other moment,
she's just kind of gone, and she'll be talking about a completely
new subject and doesn't really know what she's saying.
We used to watch films together, and sometimes a series,
but it's not really fun, because...
..you know, she's just asleep most of the time.
So now, I never watch a series with her any more.
If she doesn't have this sleep, she'll stay,
she'll keep fighting and fighting and fighting, but she won't
snap out of it, so it's good for her to, yeah,
to be safe and have a sleep.
I think she's always quite shocked when she wakes up.
She's like... She just wakes up,
and, "How long was I gone for?" is always the first question.
What time do you guys need to go?
SHE MUMBLES
What time do you guys need to go?
Mikey, what's the time?
It's 4:05.
What time do you want to go?
At 20 past.
I need to get changed.
Nice little power nap!
How long did I sleep for?
Er, ten. Oh. Nice.
I needed just that little...
And just ten minutes, then just back. Back now!
So, I'm just packing my stuff now. I'm actually going back to the UK.
But I'm really excited, I'm going to see my mum.
Oh, wow!
VOICEOVER: I discovered I had narcolepsy when I was 17.
I said to my mum, "I sleep really well at night
"and I'm still falling asleep in the day. Can I go to the doctor's?"
This one, I look like, um, a genie.
I remember, we were like, "What is narcolepsy?"
I remember you saying, "Is there a cure?"
And the doctor was like, "It will only ever actually just get worse."
At school, there were a few people in lessons that would tap
each other, they would film me,
my friends have drawn on my face, like, countless times.
Actually, the teachers were the worst,
because the amount of times they'd be like,
"Belle, what were you doing last night?
"Belle, maybe don't go out so late."
A teacher threw a pen at me once, they were like,
"Don't fall asleep in my class! Am I that boring?"
So, that's actually why I left school.
My biggest concern was leaving you alone -
are you going to fall asleep in a sort of dangerous situation?
Yeah, because I fell asleep one time when you were in France, and I had
that really bad hallucination, and I called you, crying my eyes out.
The biggest scare is the hallucinations.
Thinking that there's somebody stood outside her bedroom,
somebody coming in her bedroom, somebody holding her down,
and when you're not there, it's very scary, because,
is there somebody actually in the house?
Is there somebody going into her bedroom?
Because she really does believe that there is somebody there.
Everyone worries about their children,
it's quite a natural thing.
Less so now, because Maikel is an absolute huge support.
When I'm in the gym and I'm doing running or high-intensity stuff,
that's when I feel the most amazing,
and I thought, "I want to be a personal trainer."
Hey, Belle. Hey.
OK, let's go! Make sure you stretch when you get to the top.
Six, five, four, three...
After I've done an exercise class, I literally feel -
it might sound a little bit cliched -
but I just feel on top of the world,
and I think that's because I know the extreme other end.
I understand that some people are like,
"Yeah, you feel good after exercise."
But I'm like, "You don't understand HOW great I feel."
After I've done a class, instead of driving straight home,
I normally just come in here and take a quick nap.
And these are really convenient - I don't actually know what
they're used for, exercise wise, but I use them as a pillow.
And then, I grab one of these blankets.
I suppose they knew I was coming when they built the gym!
It may be only, like, 10 or 15 minutes,
but everyone here completely understands and knows
and they're like, "Belle's in the yoga room, sleeping,"
and it's completely normal.
I don't think I could have got to where I am today
without my mum and Maikel.
I think those two are the two that really stand out.
I will do everything I can to overcome every aspect that hits me
of narcolepsy, because I've got it, but it doesn't have me.