i spent most of my 20s working really hard just to give everyone a bit of context i worked six
days a week for nearly one whole year without any break and on a lot of weekdays i would work
till seven or eight o'clock in the evening the stress and the fatigue were really taking a toll
on me but i just kept going because i thought that was what being successful was all about
and to reward myself i spent the little spare time i had on shopping and collecting nice things even
when my collection was way more than i could use for my daily life it looks so small and unexciting
compared to what i saw on social media so i kept buying more and more hoping i would arrive at
this eternal happiness someday somehow it was hard for me to conceptualize this at that point
but a lot of my unhappiness and problems came from my desire to compare myself to other people
i think i always had this tendency to compare myself even as a child i would compare myself to
my sisters neighbors relatives and then my peers when social media came into the picture however
this desire to compare myself was amplified many times over for the longest time i would
dream about having a certain body shape living in a certain house driving a certain car and owning
a luxury handbag collection of a certain size and as i said before things got a bit out of control
because i was obsessed with overworking just to chase what everyone else had truly if i hadn't
come across minimalism my life would have run a very different course that said while it really
helps to practice routines like limiting the time i spend on social media and curating the content
i watch the biggest turning point for me is that i now see social media in a very different light
and let me tell you why so being on social media myself i know life is never perfect no matter how
shiny things might look on the outside while i'll never fabricate anything i don't show everything
either such as the ugly coffee stain on my carpet the messy living room the pile of laundry waiting
to be done or the fact that i'm actually wearing my pajamas pants while filming this
all these make me realize everyone including the people i really look up to have their fair
share of problems and struggles and this doesn't just apply to the world of social media in my day
job i get to meet a lot of people on a daily basis and just to break the ice i like to ask
them about their work passions and families from these conversations i noticed one thing in common
and that is people might be having a hard time but they just choose not to show it because life
has to go on somehow and just to put things into perspectives please allow me to share a personal
story because i think it will really help to shine some light on why comparison is a fool's errand so
there are two people in this story the first one is a family friend and let's call him john john
always looked like he lived the best life because he drove the nicest car lived in the mansion
quite often died in the finest restaurants and always dressed himself in designer brands to
everyone including his wife it really looked like he was happy and successful then that's
my husband's cousin michael who's always been very frugal and he enjoys a very simple life
in fact to some people it might even look like a very boring and mundane life i think if we go by
society standard most people would see john as the winner in life however contrary to what everyone
thought john had been in a lot of that and he very sadly ended up taking some very desperate actions
on the other hand it turns out michael has been building a very solid investment portfolio he
recently decided to take some time off just so he can be there for his newborn baby
and to support his wife as a new mother when we asked him he said his plan is to stay off work for
as long as he feels like because his investment can quite comfortably sustain the family
it really is lovely to see they can get to spend this precious time together without the pressure
of having to make ends meet every time i look at how things turn out for john and michael
i'm always reminded to never judge a book by its cover and more importantly do not blindly
chase the arbitrary success now i would be lying if i said i had completely let go of the urge
for comparison but it's certainly nothing like it was sometimes i feel like comparison isn't always
necessarily a bad thing as long as we channel that energy into something positive instead of feeling
jealous or envious i now try to find inspirations from other people for example instead of focusing
on the net worth of someone like elon musk i want to know more about how he got to where he is
and how he overcame his fear and the many challenges along the way similarly instead
of resenting someone with a big following i'm more interested to know how they create
incredible and engaging videos this is why i really appreciate a learning platform like
skillshare i've been learning on skillshare for a year and a half now and for those of you who don't
know skillshare is an online learning community where you can learn about everything including
filmmaking baking illustrations personal finance and so much more this really is an amazing space
because everyone is here to learn and support each other you won't see any ads on skillshare so you
can really focus on the classes about two months ago i took a class by aaron palabyap and it's
called shoot engaging videos on your own aaron is not only an expert in the filming industry
he is also a natural when it comes to teaching i really enjoyed his sense of humor but more
importantly i got a lot of inspirations from his class since the beginning of this year i've been
experimenting with my videos some of you might have noticed i now include details like modeling
clips and shots for my wardrobes and also everyday life it was quite scary at first to share my life
with the world but i think these little changes have helped to make my videos more engaging
whether if you're hoping to pick up a new skill explore your creativity or look for inspirations
i highly recommend checking out skillshare and for those of you who are interested i have a link down
below for you guys and the first thousand people to use the link or my code colourful noir will get
a free trial of skillshare premium membership for one month around christmas time last year
i read a book and a line really stuck with me it goes rather than trying to be someone else
is always better and easier to be yourself because in the whole wide world that's only
one of you so really you shouldn't have to worry about competition or comparison if you just be you
i know this might sound a bit cliche but i really think there's so much truth in this one sentence
for me self-acceptance is a big part of letting go of comparison i know i'm not perfect but i
am unique so is everyone else in their very own way while i'll never stop improving myself that
is quite different from overstretching myself just to chase an ideal that doesn't really exist i know
happiness and self-worth can mean very different things to different people but if we just take
away the comparison element from the equation i think we realize happiness has very little to do
with how many designer handbags we have or how big our wardrobes look even though i no longer trap
myself in a constant cycle of comparison i feel like it's unrealistic to completely free ourselves
from the urge to compare the truth is i still have days when i feel like i'm not good enough i don't
measure up or i wish i could do better on days like this i like to bring myself close to nature
there's something so very comforting about spending time in nature the trees never care
about how my hair looks the birds pay no attention to how much money i make and the
river has no interest in my bag collection mother nature just always welcomes us the way we are
and here i never feel the pressure or the need to compare myself to anyone or anything
i would love to know if you ever have the tendency to compare yourself to other people
and in what context is it job title earning potential or physical possession i think we'll
see some very interesting conversations down below so please share your thoughts
if you're new here my name is eileen on this channel we talk a lot about luxury minimalism
and intentional living and i would love for you to join our lovely community so that's it from
me thank you so much for watching until next week take care and have a nice day