I wish I hadn't wasted those days
with my first newborn feeling devastated,
because actually, the reality is, we had nothing to fear.
Knowing what I know now, that's my biggest regret.
I wouldn't have shed a single tear.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
We were told, probably about 9 to 12 hours after he was born,
that they suspected Kush had Down syndrome.
Then the doctors just apologised, kept apologising,
and said, we think he's got clinical features of Down
syndrome and just kept apologising, as if he had died.
We found out that he had Down syndrome 45 minutes
after my C-section.
So I was still in recovery.
It was a massive shock.
The midwife said that she looked like she
might have Down syndrome.
She also said it might be just because she's
got a round face like her dad, which was quite amusing.
I was very scared when Lois was born.
I was worried that I wouldn't be able to be a good mum to her.
I was worried about the health issues.
I had this really dark vision of what my life would be like
and what Lois' life would be like.
And it's just not the case.
And if you just take one day at a time.
I was very upset and just kept thinking of his future.
But it was like a bolt from the blue.
I had no warning.
When we were first told, I'm ashamed to say now
that I was devastated.
Our world fell apart there and then.
I was really anxious about the future for us as a family
and also for Kush.
In the 70s and 80s, people with Down syndrome
were kept separate.
I assumed he wouldn't be able to walk until he was 5 or 6,
possibly later.
Actually Lucas walked at 15 months.
I remember when he was young, feeling--
just having the realisation, at about 3 three weeks old,
that he was never going to be a fireman.
He was never going to be a surgeon.
And at the time, that was--
usually kids can be anything-- at the time, that really hit
home.
But actually, now I think Lucas could
be whatever he wants to be.
And that's increasing year on year when I see him develop.
I've realised that Lois is her own person.
It's not all about the Down syndrome.
And you know, I'm very proud that she has it,
and she rocks her extra chromosome.
But it's not the whole picture.
Lois is funny and caring, kind, stubborn, very funny.
She makes us laugh every day.
Kush is incredibly cheeky, and he's
got the best smile in the world--
and laugh.
Haven't you?
Yeah.
You amazing?
Yeah.
My best boy?
In the world.
If I had to describe Lucas, I would say he is extraordinary.
He's very cheeky, though.
Contrary to when she was born-- my first fear was that she was
never going to speak--
is that she never stops talking.
Intelligent, fun, caring little boy who just loves life.
He's very sociable.
I don't think I've ever met anyone as sociable.
Lucas and his older sister Isabella
have an amazing relationship.
When I tell people that I've got a brother with Down syndrome,
the first thing they always say to me is, I'm sorry.
And to me, it's not something to be sorry about.
I love him just as he is.
Lucas, are you going to say hello?
I use sign language to communicate with Lucas,
because Lucas is non-verbal, so he can't speak to me.
Say my name is Lucas.
Lucas, good boy.
He can tell me exactly what he wants.
And it's just really helpful.
He's been really helpful with us as a family,
so we can communicate with him.
You cheeky monkey.
Yeah?
I think the biggest misconception
is that people with Down syndrome can't achieve,
and they don't have much to offer as other people.
She is going to do everything that everybody else can do
but with a bit of extra help.
Yeah.
I mess up.
You speak to a lot of doctors, and it is very, very negative.
We really need to change that, because it's not.
Like, it's not negative.
Lucas, stop.
Listen.
Yeah, it has challenges.
But you know, I got three other children
and equally they come with their own challenges.
And sometimes their challenges are
worse to Lucas and vice versa.
So now it's just the most normalised thing to me, ever.
I think it's getting better, and it's changing.
But I still think there's quite a lot of ignorance out there.
People's perceptions need to change.
And in order to change perception,
they need to be more aware, which is why we try
and raise awareness as much as we can.
I think we just need more inclusion.
There's still a long way to go.
I think year on year, it's getting massively better.
But obviously there's always room for improvement.
Our key goal is independence.
We want him to be independent, to have a job, to have friends,
and to be happy.
And go!
Whee!
We want him to be included in society,
not pushed away, not ignored.
If I was to give advice to someone who
had just received a diagnosis--
It's OK if you feel frightened or afraid or alone
and you panic.
Don't worry.
Everything's going to be fine.
You can do this.
You make it work, and it will work.
You'll have the same challenges you
have with your other children.
There's some great online networks for people and parents
with kids with Down syndrome.
It's really not that scary as it feels like at the start.
And your child will be your biggest teacher.
You'll learn from that child, and that child
will learn from you.
You'll get through it.
And it'll be great.
For now, your child is just a baby,
and he or she needs what any baby needs.
And that is a parent that loves them.
Cheeky.
You're a monkey, aren't you?
Yeah!