So I've just been reading "All the Light We Cannot See," the book that we're gonna
discuss in a few weeks on the 24th of July. Well I'm a bit over halfway done
and I'm, like, honestly captivated by this book. It's reminding me of what it's
like to read a book where when you stop reading it, you feel like you're coming
out of a dream-- but like the dream was more real.
It's very good writing, I'm enjoying it very much. It's still not too late if
you want to get it and read it before the 24th. I highly recommend so we can
have a big discussion together.
What I want to talk about today is something
that I've kind of skirted around the edges of in a couple different videos
and podcasts before. I'm gonna delve into sort of a little bit of a new territory
with it. And I call this the INFJ Fatal Error... or whatever I'm not sure what I'm
gonna title it. This applies to everyone, not just the INFJs, but the reason I
single out INFJs is not only because it makes you more likely to click on it,
but because if an INFJ or an INTJ is gonna fail at something, this is the
thing that's going to really trip them up, I think. It's gonna affect everyone,
it's gonna trip up everyone at one point or another, but I think other types who
don't have extroverted sensing as their inferior function, other types can
pick up more easily that, "Oh, this is the way I should do things." Whereas
introverted intuitives are not gonna pick up on it and are just gonna like go over
the cliff blindly.
"What is it Frank, what is it? You've been teasing this long enough!"
This is gonna sound harsh. You're not gonna like this. What it is, is being
so caught up in your goals, what you're trying to achieve, what the
master plan looks like--being so caught up in that that you can't see the first
step to take; and you, in a way, feel like you shouldn't have to take these small
steps, that they're below you, that you're too good for them. That wording is a
little inflammatory, I know. But that's sort of
how it feels, you know? For example, you want to create a business, or maybe
you're already running one. You know the thing that's gonna trip up an INFJ or an
INTJ in business? It's because they don't want to do the little crap, or they
don't even think to do it. They're like, "Why should I do this the stupid stuff?
The administrative stuff, the bookwork, the accounting, the little things that
add up to it?" All they want to do is what they went into business for, you know? All
I wanna do is have some fun, I've got a feeling I'm not the only one. "I went
into business, man, because I wanted to sell encyclopedias! I didn't go into
business because I wanted to do accounting work, or because I wanted to
hire people, or because I wanted to, you know, create a website! This is all BS
that I don't want to have to deal with!" Maybe they don't even think that. Maybe
it doesn't even cross their mind. It's more like, "I have to have a website? I
have to do this BS? What??" That's because with introverted intuition being the
main function and taking up so much of our processing power, we neglect
extroverted sensing, we don't even really see what's going on with it, and that's
where all the details are. That's where all the step-by-step stupid little crap
that we have to do every day comes into play. We don't want to think about it, we
don't respect it, we don't think very highly of it. It's sort of like, "Can't I
just skip ahead to the good stuff? If I'm running my food truck and I just make
really good food and people love the food and they come and they love
eating my food and Guy Fieri comes and he puts me on his show, what does it
matter if I get a health violation and there's mice running around and what
does it matter if I'm not paying my employees minimum wage?
Why does that stuff matter? Do I have to follow all those rules? Because I think
I've got the big picture, I'm making the greatest tacos you've ever seen in this town...
Why should I do all this other BS? This is stupid. I hate this." Does that
sound familiar? But yeah, you INXJs, this is what's
gonna kill you, this is what's gonna murder your dreams. When you're writing
your memoir about the things that went wrong in your life, this is what you're
gonna look at, and this is gonna be the thing that you're gonna have to overcome
if you want to be somebody. If you want to be a contender! If you don't want to
be some nobody from Palookaville-- I forget the exact quote. What you've got
to do, unfortunately, is you've got to do that icky thing that you don't want to
do, and you've got to look at the stupid small steps that you've got to do
to achieve the things, the big things, that you want. And it can feel like, "Man
this just this seems so mundane, it's like I'm not even achieving anything,
it's so stupid." I can remember when I was first learning to play guitar, I didn't
want to do all the stupid lessons like learning scales and all that garbage. I
just wanted to--I had a song: how do I play this song? I want to know how to
play this. Get me to operational skill. Let's get past what all the normal
people do. I want the fast track, okay? And the thing is, if you are smart, you can
get away with that so often. You can just glide past the beginning stages of
things and kind of get competent at something without working too hard; and
that trains you, at least in my life it has trained me, to be exceedingly lazy--or
not lazy, but it it makes me really hesitant to do anything where I know I'm
gonna have to start from zero or take really stupid mundane steps. I can't take
the banality of it--if I'm using that word correctly. I just want to skip
to the glamorous part. You know it takes a lot
of effort to step back and to be like, "Okay, I have to put in the work, I have to
pay my dues, I have to do this thing that doesn't isn't really related to what I
want to do but it's the groundwork for what I want to do. Okay, I guess I have to
get my food truck inspected by the health department. Okay, whatever. Whatever. If
that's what the law says! Law..." And for my non-INFJ buddies, this can affect you too.
It may not stab you in the back unexpectedly like it will for an INFJ,
but it often is like--you feel like you're aiming too low sometimes,
because with the mundane stuff, you know, it's like, "I want to run a marathon, but
I'm so out of shape all I can do is like walk, and it feels like I'm so
lame, I'm not accomplishing anything." But that's what you've got to do: you've got
to start with the lame steps in order to get to the big glamorous steps, you know?
If you want to learn how to play guitar really well, unfortunately you have to
spend a lot of time going "do, re, mi, fa, so, la, ti, do," or whatever, doing your stupid scales, so
that eventually you can move on to playing screaming hot lead solos. "What's
a 'lead solo'? Isn't that redundant, Frank?" Yeah, it is. So what?
So to sum it up, what I want to tell you is, make sure that
you're keeping an eye out for the the crappy little mundane steps to achieve
the things that you want to. What are the things that you don't want to deal
with, that you have to? Sometimes you just have to aim lower, because if you aim at
your big goal right away, you're going to fail, because you're missing all the
steps in between. Well that's all I've got to say for now. If you liked the
video, give it a thumbs up. Don't think you're too good for it, you can do it, you
can aim low enough to hit the thumbs-up button. Make sure you're subscribed to
this and hit the bell button to be notified
of stuff. Check out the links in the description to listen to and buy my
outro song if you're so inclined. And until next time stay cool and attractive.