eleven years ago I did a very bad thing
in the kitchen the time has finally come
to confess all to my wife Davis - what
what did you do
I broke a pot a cooking pot that you you
you baked chickens in you roast chickens
ticket box what what was what was so
special about the chicken pot good
question Greg Thank You Danny I did it
wasn't a wedding present know it was it
was terracotta yeah and it's got a lid
on it heavy yeah it's pretty deep man
though genuinely it's about that deep
and you put the thing you put the lid on
and the thing about these terracotta
pots is you're not supposed to wash them
the pot absorbs the flavor over the
years I had about an hour before she was
coming home and I knew she would not be
happy about this
so I raced to the local kitchen shop and
fortunately got the exact same pot half
an hour to age it how many years had the
previous one been aging Oh seven years
so you had to do seven years worth of
casserole eh yeah I had to make it look
like it was weathered how did you do
that first of all I put a bit of soil on
it then i put Marmite on and then baked
it very quickly on a high heat I got
some paper bit of sandpaper on it all
this in the half an hour
before she got home when she arrived
home did she suspect anything
well I was with another woman in bed but
apart from that how did you break it
well I was fixing something with a
screwdriver and I got in a bad mood and
I threw the screwdriver down you threw a
screwdriver so hard that it shattered an
ancient cooking pots didn't shatter it
we cracked and it's not ancient but the
word pot was corrected it just chipped
in a bit but it was enough to make my
wife she would have noticed that so
they would you said just have you ever
drink never think about it I'm married
[Laughter]
[Applause]
why did you feel that a seven-year-old
cooking pot had so much sentimental
value for your wife that it was worth
all this trouble oh did I not mention
her grandmother's ashes inside
did you also burn another old lady
all right it's time to decide Victoria I
have met Lee's wife she is extremely
sophisticated and nuanced woman with
many interests I don't think would you
be marry interest
what do you know that item a several pot
would loom so large that you would feel
unable to the healthy because when you
come round to my house and you're with
my wife and we're having dinner
she's pleasant she's nice the second we
wave you off by sea it's just been
lovely close that door
so with the beard kept staring at me
Oh spenita
okay I've got a couple of extra
questions Oh Lord what do you say it
wasn't cracked it was just chipped it
was it was was it usable yes definitely
usable you would be able to say I'm
really sorry I've chipped it but the
thing that you so love about it all this
accumulated flavor is still there it's
not effective but all there is a tiny
bit missing actually apparently all the
flavor comes from the sweet spot that's
what I'd go ahead where why remembers it
chipped off iweb smelt the pot nothing I
took this little piece of
even though the functionality of the pot
is unaffected you thought should be so
furious at superficial damage to it not
superficial
it is superficial so it isn't
superficial I haven't told you the size
of the tip of it
no you simulated it just like that yeah
but you don't know how I'm holding it
I'm holding you at the edge of
[Applause]
to get a grip and make a decision sorry
so you put the flight without the
screwdriver
can I just just dip the pot was ruining
David that's all you need to know what
will you ever literally said go David
would have taken my chances with my wife
at the time
it is time to decide second question
[Applause]
what did you do with the damaged pot I
hid it to begin with and then over the
next couple of days when she wasn't
looking I slowly turned it towards the
door because she only notices things
when they move she would be sat there
with a glass of water I watched the
television I would come down with a step
and she'd see the water
so
it's time to decide yeah was Lee telling
the truth
well what do you think I think it's a
lie what do you think it can't be true I
think it might be true but I'm not gonna
overall my team will go like Lee were
you telling the truth or were you
telling the lie
I'm sorry my dear it's true
[Music]