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man I'm kind of getting sick of all this
cooking [ __ ] bro really you don't press
the button wanna press this button Jody
you know which one we're gonna press off
pulse no which one of us would be better
off I don't know man I think we should
get a caterer I think that might be the
move I don't know I feel like it's not
fun I think there's no challenge
smokings not fun
cooking it's fun yeah listen I think I
think it's beneficial to throw a little
bit of money at problems sometimes let
me just let me get this one
and we can relax and chill it's gonna be
it's gonna be fine all right
yo I'm rich Brian I'm Joe G and we're
celebrating the a day arising head in
the clouds album and tour by cooking for
our friends at our end of summer party
house the thing is though I don't think
we really know how to cook
welcome to the feast mansion welcome to
the feast mansion welcome to the feast
mansion
welcome to the feast mansion
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Yoav Umbridge Brian's dumb Joji you're
watching the best [ __ ] cooking show
in the world but today we're not gonna
be cooking I'm gonna be doing a taste
test for takoyaki takoyaki octopus balls
you take little pieces and you make a
ball you can find takoyaki is usually I
feel like you can find the matter fairs
kind of like how here that might be like
a taco truck oh okay like a takoyaki
stand I feel like it's always run by
like an old like an old lady yes who is
just who that had zero calcium and
growing up I got this caterer super fire
uh-huh like all kinds of balls that we
can have it's good you down for that
like to bring him out yeah you don't
look down
I'm down all right let's bring the old
bastard out I think we should try the
classic version just to kind of set the
baseline the batter is made with dashi
eggs soy sauce and flour then it's
filled with octopus green onions and
pickled red ginger and [ __ ] like that
then it's topped what then it's topped
with Kewpie mayonnaise takoyaki sauce
which is kind of like low key just eel
sauce and then bonito flakes are you
ready for this
yep mmm it's pretty good mmm you said
like in Japan there's like the takoyaki
stands I feel like in donation like the
go-to kind of like street food is like
people that that cell just like fried
stuff just like straight up like they
fry like plantains and like cassava
isn't like do they do insects over there
no no I've never ate an insect really
yeah dude I think we could easily like
cut down on the meat if everyone just
like straight-up just ate Friday likes
what kind of insects
I don't know like dragonfly
like there's a good there's actually an
Indonesian like kind of like myth thing
you know like when you're like a little
boy you like to like wet the bed and
[ __ ] you like to pee your pants
I still do you basically take a dragon
flying and just like let it bite your
dick well you take a dragon fly and just
like let it bite your [ __ ] dick this
is the thing this is the natural thing
and people do outweigh know about your
tape your bellybutton I think we've got
the baseline you know Detroit the
classic dump try the next time you don't
yeah yeah I got I got some crazy [ __ ]
lined up
all right ladies hang oh [ __ ] what is it
Jake it's it's takoyaki with the
cheeseburger ingredients it's gotta wow
that's like real clean-cut
oh yeah it's got lettuce tomato cheese
and beef
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[Laughter]
I'll get it we're in America and [ __ ]
but nobody's gonna want to eat this [ __ ]
they want a cheeseburger they go [ __ ]
don't get that [ __ ] with this I don't
know about this one here
what was the follow-up verdict do we
give it a thumbs up or a thumbs down
yeah I was gonna give it like like a 7
p.m. yeah yeah I don't want to give it
like a full thumbs down like the effort
was like summer thumbs up if I was like
just born and I didn't know anything
about takoyaki or cheeseburger and I eat
that that'd be amazing but I know about
those things
yeah whoa or this come from
jouji what is this we got takoyaki with
marshmallows chocolate Wow Nutella that
actually some of them yeah it's a
dessert like I'm gonna like this one
what he I already know too because it's
just like I feel like it's a pretty
similar just pancake dough the dough
could be a little bit sweeter maybe hmm
I'm only tasting the condiments right
now though so when I was a good kid I
was in Indonesia listen to know like
Tyler the Creator at home and then I got
a song about s'mores and when I came
here I finally had it for the first time
was amazing but this this kind of
reminds me other s'mores because I got
the marshmallows and that's chocolate
there's no octopus and right oh whoa
yeah what do you think of this journey
what's the final verdict the final
verdict it's three to one
instead of this it's this oh you're
going to OD this no no it's it's like
not quite not quiet yeah Oh are we going
by different oh yeah because I'm using
my left hand so this is a like 11:00
p.m. rare are you considering the camera
yeah stop I'm not oh yeah I'm dumb I
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feel like to be honest with you I feel
like you kind of throw money at the
problem I feel like we can do this [ __ ]
like that
I feel like you can cook it like by
yourselves I don't think we need like
pay a caterer we need the money to pay
for Jay Cole to show up we got paid not
to show up [ __ ] with Jay Cole you can
keep that with a call alright fine fine
we'll cook it we can do that already I
mean yeah we already go we do have the
stuff yeah you're right so the first
thing you do is take this bottle full of
batter yeah and you fill it up halfway
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Jesus Christ you fill it up halfway
halfway got it I don't know how much you
want to put in theirs I've never made
this before but you just put it in like
one or two pieces doesn't matter yeah at
times I could be totally wrong yeah I
like to put quite a bit in there
so a lot of this I actually don't watch
any cooking show ever
really i watch guy's grocery games on
Besh's fire what's up guys I really want
to see Guy Fieri just [ __ ] angry yo
one Guy Fieri punch like all it takes is
one I feel like yeah that's this [ __ ]
like the the spikes like come Attucks
yeah yeah what about like one
professional fistfight with Bobby Flay
I'm down yeah yeah I feel like Bobby
Flay's got a really high kick he's like
talking you like this and it's only like
it's like and then like his foot is like
right by your ear I mean I think like
this is like dirty fighting but I can
[ __ ] Carius like I just like kicking
the balls or like out his eyes out or
something I don't want to go that far
because I don't [ __ ] all right you'd
kick someone's balls but not gouge their
eyes out yeah means that you're taking
his vision away from him forever yeah
sure what if we ought dude if we took
his sense of taste away Jesus I got at
least like one done how many have done I
got you done yeah you got a few let's
pop o QP Mayo 100% we gotta go
you wash it on yeah you won't get that
assault yeah I'm gonna get the sauce
then I'm gonna put the good move guess
you have sunglasses on Oh
oh yeah I don't know whole time yeah
yeah let's try it
I want to try yours actually yours look
really good yeah you know
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it was good it's not as fun but it was
really good
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you know let me swallow my [ __ ] pride
thank you right they would just pick it
over because we obviously can't do this
[ __ ] you look at this it's way harder
than I thought
yeah like I will call the caterer and
we'll get that figured out oh yeah so
the final lesson is at home if you want
to make Tiger yaki just get a caterer or
else you don't end up with this mess
just doesn't even try
just just pay somebody to do it throw
money at problems so he's gonna clean
all this [ __ ] not us we got history got
me feelin the nest I do when you look at
me
what could happen no what could a bit
finally your face I'm going to die
decide you see take my Tyler take your
clothes off one more time maybe I can
let you don't be calling and impressing
me
see you
me like a dress but you fit better and
rickety we moved under new this Bobby
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