Hey everyone, so it’s been almost exactly a year since I published my innocuous little
flat earth debunk as part of my astronomy series.
That was the one that the globebusters foolishly engaged with, and their idiotic insult-filled
commentary prompted me to make this little gem that they never recovered from.
Then based on the ridiculous comments I received on that video, I made one more to mock the
moronic things that all flat earthers say verbatim, or at least they did until that
video made the rounds.
And then I put the whole thing down for a while.
It was never my intention to make that sort of content, but it was quite satisfying, and
I got ten times the views of my normal content, which was definitely a plus.
But I had to move on, lest I be tempted to rebrand myself from a
channel with academic intentions to one devoted purely to debunking con men.
However, it’s been a year, I’ve done so many tutorials since then, so why not jump
back in the muck for a moment.
This time, I’d like to offer some challenges to you remaining few that are desperately
clinging to this dying fad to derive some semblance of self-worth.
Let’s call them: Ten Challenges for Flat Earthers.
These will be some basic things that anyone could do to test the flat earth hypothesis.
They are so mind-numbingly obvious, that the fact that you don’t do them is an immediate
indicator of your complete lack of intellectual integrity.
Let’s get started and you’ll see what I mean.
Number one.
Here’s the flat earth map that you all seem to agree upon.
Anyone with half a brain can immediately tell that this does not correlate with reality,
but for those with an even smaller fraction, let’s do a few things to prove it.
For example, make a scale.
You know, a scale?
It’s that thing on maps that tells you how far away things are from each other.
Look at this map.
There’s a scale.
You can pick two cities and determine the approximate distance between them.
Then you can drive your car from one to another and verify that it is the correct distance.
Now back to your little map.
Where’s the scale here?
Why do you never include one?
Is it because it’s impossible?
Yes, that is exactly why.
And if you disagree, here’s your challenge.
Pick some distance on this map.
A centimeter, an inch, whatever.
Tell me the distance it corresponds to in reality.
Then, pick some cities, and use your scale to estimate the distances between them.
Pick two on the same continent, pick two on different continents.
Use it to tell me how wide this inappropriately enormous ocean is.
Use it to tell me literally anything about the distances between literally anything.
When you can’t do it, and your numbers do not correlate with reality in the slightest,
recall that this map does it just fine, and then admit that your map is stupid.
Your complete inability to make any kind of remotely legitimate map single-handedly proves
the earth isn’t flat.
But let’s continue just for fun.
Number two.
As we all know, the existence of Antarctica poses a huge problem for you.
When it is summer in the northern hemisphere, you love to pretend that the sun moves inwards
to this tropic, making the days longer here, and shorter in the southern hemisphere.
And then when it’s winter in the north, you like to put the sun at the other tropic,
which you think gives you the shorter days up north that you want, but in the south it’s
total chaos.
You have the sun tracing this enormous trajectory, which would leave everything out here in darkness
for most of the day, when in reality, there are long periods of time in Antarctica where
the sun never sets.
Since your dinky little sun can never illuminate this entire fantasy ice wall at once, this
compeletely obliterates your model, which is why you resort to conspiracy.
You simply deny that this midnight sun ever occurs, while claiming that no one can go
to Antarctica to verify it for themselves, because the government NASA Jew penguins will
kill you.
Well apart from all the commercial cruises, civilians can even apply for jobs there, so
you totally could go see it for yourself.
But you don’t really have to go all the way to Antarctica.
Just go to the tip of South America, like this town where people live.
Or don’t even go there, just look up times of sunrise and sunset on the internet.
In mid-December, sunrise is earlier than 5 AM, and sunset is later than 10 PM.
Now take your little model for the seasons, and make it show night and day.
Then try and make the night and day portions match up with these sunrise and sunset times.
Demonstrate the light from the sun illuminating this location for more than 70 percent of
its trajectory.
And as you do that, make sure that it does not illuminate Point Barrow, Alaksa, whatsoever
during its entire trajectory, as that town has endless night during this time of the year.
That’s right.
Lots of sun over here, and zero sun over here.
Good luck.
If you decide to even try, observe that the light patterns become so nonsensical that
not even the most meth-fueled creatives amongst you could vomit enough magnetism jargon to
justify it.
If you can’t make your model show the seasons and night and day at the same time, as I pointed
out that you can’t almost a year ago, then seriously consider shutting up forever.
Number three.
Here’s an idea.
What if you were to actually make a prediction with your model?
Like, any prediction.
You know, those things you have to do in science for it to be science?
Pick any celestial object.
A planet.
A comet.
A star.
Now pick any time in the future.
And using only the flat earth model and nothing else, tell me where it will be at that time.
If you can’t do this, and I know you can’t, consider admitting that your model is absolutely
irrelevant.
People who actually understand the geometry of the earth and the solar system can predict
a solar eclipse, specifying the start and end time down to the second, and tracing its
precise path down to the square mile.
Doing that even a single time means the model used to make the prediction has been undeniably
verified, and it’s done every single time.
Anyone who doesn’t see the importance of that has no clue how science works.
Number four.
After I demolished essentially all of your favorite talking points in my previous videos,
you all now cling primarily to the classic “I shouldn’t see this thing” argument.
You love this one because you can lie about heights and distances, do incorrect math,
and in general act incredulous without having to actually do any science.
Well every time you whine about this, the objects are always suspiciously close, such
that you can fudge the numbers, and they’re always over water, so you can lie about refractive
effects to people who have no idea how refraction works.
So try this one on for size.
Show me a picture of something over land that’s a thousand miles away.
May I suggest the middle of the country where there’s not much in the way.
It’s a straight shot after all, so what’s the problem?
Use a telescope.
Pull Las Vegas into focus from Dallas, Texas.
Isn’t that where you have your little meeting?
Maybe you should try doing something productive rather than blindly perpetuating the dumbest
hoax on the internet.
Number five.
Speaking of things that are far away, you all love whipping out your Nikons so much
that I wouldn’t be surprised if a Nikon executive dreamt up the entire flat earth
hoax as a viral marketing campaign.
You take a boat that’s far away, pull it back into focus, and then marvel at your own
brilliance for figuring out how to operate a camera.
Well try this one then.
Stay on the boat.
Don’t cut away.
Stay on it until it disappears.
How will it disappear?
Bottom up.
Just like everything else.
I wonder why you’ve never put that on YouTube?
Number six.
The most hilarious thing about flat earth is that the most mundane, every day observations
make absolutely no sense in your model.
Like a sunset.
A small sun above a flat earth would simply recede high in the sky and get smaller and
smaller until it fades away.
It absolutely would not retain the same angular size and set below the horizon.
It stays the same size because it’s unbelievably far away, and it sets below the horizon because
the earth is a sphere that is turning.
Even a toddler can understand this.
It’s so blatantly obvious that you have to resort to your typical ad hoc antics, talking
about refractive effects that defy all logic and somehow magically apply to the sun but
nothing else.
Or even better, some of you talk about about a dome with the sun on the other side that
produces some bizarre optical effect.
Apart from the sheer absurdity of this magical dome that no one has ever seen or touched,
it creates big problems for you, because you also claim that the sun and moon perform other
kinds of magic to push the air and water around, to get tides and storms and what have you.
That would require that it is inside the dome.
So which is it?
Is the sun outside of the magical non-existent dome, so you can pretend to get the sunset,
or is it inside the magical non-existent dome, so you can pretend to get the tides?
It can’t be both.
Or if you bail on the dome and say it’s just water, how do all those water molecules
that make up around one percent of the atmosphere produce a thousand times greater refractive
effect than actual liquid water?
How does the appearance of a sunset never vary at all, whether it’s dry or humid or raining?
Why does nothing else but the sun behave that way?
Show me a projectile or a plane going below the horizon as it recedes.
Or show me this dome and explain the phenomena with more than buzzwords.
Do something to explain a sunset.
Do anything besides making idiotic videos with action movie soundtracks that contradict
middle school level science.
Number seven.
What the hell is a lunar eclipse to you?
Seriously.
Explain anything about a lunar eclipse.
The things you say about solar eclipses are stupid enough, but at least you say something.
A lunar eclipse happens when the earth gets between the sun and the moon.
That’s right.
In between.
These two objects are not perpetually above a flat plane, and you know it, which is why
you’re totally silent on lunar eclipses.
And if you’re going to propose that some other object besides the earth is what obscures
the moon, good luck trying to demonstrate its existence.
Number eight.
Speaking of the sun and moon being small and close to the earth, what is stopping you from
strapping a camera to a weather balloon and sending it up there?
Go get up close and personal with either of these objects and take some pictures.
If you get crafty with some robotics, which is a stretch given your complete lack of education,
you could even scoop up a little sample.
Maybe the moon is made of cheese after all.
Can’t you get even halfway there, such that the sizes change?
Reach for the sky, fellas.
Number nine.
Take some flights.
Like any direct flight in the southern hemisphere.
Whoops!
Shouldn’t that be impossible?
Better yet, fly between two cities two different ways, the shortest way on the globe, and the
shortest way on the flat earth.
Which one do you think will be faster?
I’m just joking, I know that none of you will ever be employed long enough to afford
a private jet.
But next time you’re on a regular plane, notice that flights going east or west are
not constantly turning slightly to one side, as you seem to believe they all must be.
Yeah.
You would notice that.
If humanity is unfortunate enough that you’ve actually procreated, send your kid up to the
cockpit to meet the pilot and snap a pic of the wheel.
What do you know, straight as an arrow.
And number ten.
Do anything legitimately scientific, at all.
Publish anything whatsoever about your model in anything reputable anywhere.
Invent any technology based on your model.
Do anything at all that could be considered actual empirical science.
Here’s a hint, you may have to study some real science to do it, but then of course
you would immediately learn that the earth isn’t flat, so it probably won’t be of
much use.
So that’s it for the ten challenges.
I say the word challenge facetiously, since all of you will immediately recognize the
futility, and resort instead to calling me names in the comments section.
You flat earth priests with your waste of space channels know full well that doing anything
even remotely empirical demolishes your hoax, which is why you stick to shouting conspiracy,
and very little else.
And you handful of mindless followers hanging on to the only thing that makes you feel special,
maybe 2020 is the year you finally get a clue and move on with your lives.
There’s a whole spherical world out there, a world filled with people who won’t instantly
mock you or be ashamed to know you.
There are so many opportunities to actually be a person of even minor consequence.
I know I’ve been hard on you, but I really am rooting for you folks.
All you have to do is disengage from these charlatans that lie for a living.
Save that ten dollar superchat and buy yourself some dignity, or even put it in a college
fund so you can go to school and learn something useful.
The choice is yours.
Good luck, and good night.