Hello, people on youtube, this is Caffinejedi and today
as you might be able to see from our wonderful spread here.
we are going to make some
pasta
with tuna
which equals
pasta salad though there are no actual vegetables in this dish
because Fuck That
so... what you're going to need
a can of tuna... particularly in water because if you get the one in brime and sunflower oil and all that other random garbage its just... gross
so yeah
can of tuna
a bag of pasta. I like the twisty kind.
I haven't bothered to learn what the actual name of these are. Twisty pasta
some
Parmesan Cheese
some garlic powder
basil
and oregano
though I'm pretty sure this is a mix of all herbs I decided to just stick together in one bottle one day.
but, we'll just pretend its oregano
We also need some mayonnaise. Good for everything. This is light mayonnaise, but if you want it to taste better fuck that diet shit
salt and pepper
I like peppercorns because I am pretentious
and rock salt because I am equally pretentious.
and
bottle of your favourite wine
so
put our ingredients back in one freaking spot
and let's begin
step one
open your bottle of wine
pour
about a glass
step 2
drink that fucking shit
better keep that shit out
might need more
alright, on to step 3
boil some freaking water. Now,
because I live in England and have learned that these things are useful. I finally decided to buy one of those kettles
that will pre-do your water for you
and I will boil some water.
hear that shit sizzle.
Ok, while that's going on you can open your can
of tuna
now typically I would make my boyfriend do this but because he's not in this shot, I can't do that.
So, I'm forced to do this by myself.
uh...
and you should probably drain this crap
now that we have our tuna steak
which has been drained
we can move to the next step
which is
get your pasta out
make sure to check the instructions
I'm not even gonna bother. It says 10-12 minutes so boil this crap for 10-12 minutes... damn, it's stuck
open your bag a lot better than I did.
and for good measure throw some freaking oil in there so it's less sticky and gross
stir it together and
let nature take its course
Then we'll continue boiling
meanwhile
pour yourself another glass of wine
...
I am using about a 9 percent alcohol
so it's really up to you how much you want to use. Feel free to exchange it with anything else you want to use
...
so much for working on my dissertation later today
that shit's right out the internet. Ok, moving on to step 2 or 3 or 4 or whatever the fuck step we're on at this point
Get your tuna out. Get a freaking fork from the back.
lick your lips of delicious wine
wipe that shit
and pour your tuna into this big giant bowl
That looks to be about right
uh...
can in the garbage
and take your mayonnaise
now I don't believe in measurements so just do as ever much as you want
yup, that seems about right
okay
the wine's starting to kick in now so we can start steering this.
This is looking good
But, just for good measure we should add more mayonnaise
more mayonnaise
Ok, while that's in there we can start adding
our other ingredients so let's begin with our oregano mix of everything
I would say about ye many
flicks of the
bottle
and
the
basil, maybe about
two of those. One, two
That
looks about right
looking normal and stir that shit some more
and some powdered garlic and... I would
just about whatever you like. That looks about right.
And Parmesan cheese. It makes everything taste like Italian food... that looks good or it smells good at least.
now, pour yourself
your third glass of wine which I think is all I have in here
because this is a curiously small bottle.
Damn. What the fuck this is like half a bottle
alright
and take it down
...
delicious
now
let us take our salt and pepper. I guess we'll start with pepper first and put in whatever you like until it starts to look like
its filled with pepper
and then take your salt and do the same exact shit except you can't tell if its filled with salt so be a little more careful this time
and now we stir again
uh...
looks great. Put that shit
to the side and wait for our pasta to finish freaking boiling. Ok.
We are back
and far less sober than I remember because that wine is really starting to kick in at this point and our noodles
are cooked. Hurray!
so what you do
This is so simple even a drunk person like me could do it
so you put your noodles in there with your mix of tuna. I would add more Parmesan
cheese because like I said it makes everything taste awesome.
and
you take your fork which is covered in tuna... you take your fork and you mix this together
I should have gotten bigger fork
a bigger fork!
see- see what I do for you guys on youtube, I purposely drink in front of the camera because I love you guys. It's out of love so you'd better
subscribe and like to this shit. Now that it's actually looking like it's all mixed together
ah
fuck it, it's not coming off
???
it taste pretty good
could use some salt
add salt to the taste
and for good measure
throw some more fucking Parmesan cheese in there.
just finish that shit
and stir some more
okay
done
Your pasta is completed but I wouldn't serve this hot
though my freaky stepdad likes it hot but its a salad so let's assume its cold
its cold. So what you do at this point is... damn it.
take out your aluminum foil... cover it
to preserve moisture so it
doesn't get all dry and fucking disgusting... so put it in the fridge
my fridge is full so I would suggest making
your fridge less full... and done
The fucking end
and questions comments or concerns can be left in the comment area, but don't PM me at this point because it's kind of dumb to
okie-dokie
this has been Caffinejedi
drinking way too much for this early morning. This time is wrong by the way
It is not 12:14. It is 1:14
wrong time... so
Actually, it's totally appropriate for me to be drunk right now
...
The End. Good Bye.