♫ Soft music ♫ Hey YouTube World!
It's me, Evelyn.
I am...a grown up, or so they tell me.
One of the cool things about being a grown up is watching your friends go on their own
life paths and journeys at different paces, different times, you know what I'm saying.
While I'm just out here eating guacamole out of a plastic cup [laughs], some people are
doing things like growing humans inside their bodies.
It's great!
I have so many questions about this whole like, gestation thing that people do, so it's
perfect 'cause I have just the person to answer my questions.
[pop sound effect] Tova: Hi.
Evelyn: It's my friend Tova!
Tova: I'm here!
Evelyn: [singing] She's pregnant! She's pregnant! She's pregnant!
Tova: I'm very pregnant.
Evelyn: [singing] She's pregnant!
Tova: [laughs] I'm very tired.
[both bust out laughing]
[whoosh]
Evelyn: I actually need footage of your stomach.
Tova: Oh!
Okay.
[Tova sighs]
[both bust out laughing]
Evelyn: This is what it is, everybody.
This is what it is.. [laughs]
Tova: You asshole.
[laughs]
Evelyn: Somebody's in there, you know what I mean?
That's, uh, pretty weird.
Kinda gross.
[whoosh]
Evelyn: Alright, so how far along, are you?
Tova: I am-- [laughs]
I'm 36 weeks.
I will be 37 next week, which means I will be full term.
So I can have her--
Evelyn: [whispers to myself] 36 divided by 4... nine!
Tova: So I can have her any day now.
Evelyn: Don't do that.
Tova: Ok.
Evelyn: Umm..
Tova: At least not today.
Evelyn: Not today!
[generic African accent] And not here!
Tova: You're not coming-- you're coming to the hospital, yeah?
Evelyn: [generic African accent] Not inside this house.
Tova: [kisses teeth] This would be a great story.
Come on.
Evelyn: Don't joke!! [Tova laughs]
Evelyn: What does being pregnant feel like.
Not the symptoms or like,
Tova: Right.
Evelyn: whatever, but itself.
Tova: It's uncomfortable.
Like you got used to your body, but now it's not your body anymore, so you don't know how
to like, work around it.
Evelyn: You said once that being pregnant kinda feels like being full forever.
Tova: Yes.
It's kinda being full and then being hungry.
So you're full and hungry and thirsty and have dry mouth.
And have to pee all the time.
Right, so she's really low right now, so she's like, on my bladder.
Evelyn: So like, I know where the uterus is located?
Tova: [laughs]
Evelyn: But like, how-- but where is the baby?
Tova: The uterus grows to accommodate the placenta and the baby.
So my uterus is like, huge right now.
Evelyn: Your uterus is up here now?
Tova: Yeah.
Evelyn: Ohhhh no!!
Tova: It's like, from here to here.
And then like, as, uh, when she's delivered, then my uterus will go back to size.
Evelyn: Hopefully.
Tova: Hopefully. [Evelyn laughs]
'Cause all my intestines and stuff are in my ribs.
Evelyn: [shocked]
Evelyn: Ok, so what are some stereotypically pregnant things that you do?
Tova: Uh, I eat.
Uh, I eat pickles.
Evelyn: Ok!
Tova: I eat a lot of watermelon and grapes.
I have a waddle.
[Evelyn laughs] Tova: I didn't think that I would get that.
But I didn't-- my nose didn't get big.
Evelyn: That's a thing?
Tova: Yeah!
Did you see Beyonce's nose?
[Evelyn laughs]
Tova: People were saying that like "Oh it's a fake", but like look at her nose.
Her nose was like, out here.
And if you see a lot of like, pregnant women, their noses spread, but mine has not.
Evelyn: [typing] Nose spread pregnancy...
Tova: Boom.
Evelyn: I just wanna know why.
Evelyn: Stereotypical: busting out crying in the middle of somewhere. Tova: No. Evelyn: Or like raging.
Tova: I-I-I am the hulk.
I stay with a constant state of rage.
Evelyn: [laughs]
Tova: 'Cause I am Black and a woman in America, so...
[Tova laughs] Evelyn: Message!!
Tova: Boop!
Evelyn: You did have like, a caramel obsession for a while.
Tova: I was.
I was.
Yeah.
Tova: I mean I could go for that right now though. Evelyn: Like, obsession!!
[laughs] I needed, uh, cheesecake ice cream with caramel and strawberries.
Evelyn: And it would be more caramel topping than the actual whatever dessert was underneath.
Tova: Yeah, but you don't-- but the other thing is not necessary.
Like, the caramel is really what--
Evelyn: Alright...Why can't you just order the caramel then??
Tova: Because you need it to be hot caramel and then cold ice cream to like, kinda solidify.
And then the fruit is just supposed to make you feel like you did something better for
yourself.
After the 13,000 calories...
Evelyn: Ok!
[both laugh]
Tova: Can we do that after?
Can we get--
Evelyn: Oh yeah!
Tova: Ok.
Evelyn: Ayyye!
Ice cream party!
Tova: Ice cream!! Evelyn: Ice cream! Ice cream!
Tova: There's a point in time where I wanted only tuna fish.
On a butter cracker.
Uh...
Evelyn: So specific.
Tova: Spaghetti, but then just for a day.
Evelyn: Yeah, you did have a spaghetti phase.
Tova: Yeah.
I just only wanted it for one day, and then I didn't want it anymore.
Evelyn: So you really just want the taste of things, not the actual consumption of the thing.
Tova: Mm Mm. Yeah.
And I think that's why I didn't really gain a lot of weight either from my pregnancy.
I didn't really start showing until like, what -- two, three weeks ago?
Evelyn: Yes!
[laughs]
Evelyn What about, um, stretch marks?
Tova: So thank goodness!
The melanin gods!
I have not gotten any stretch marks.
But I do uh, I put like, coconut oil over my body.
And then um, what is it?
Tova: Cocoa...cocoa butter? Evelyn: Palmer's?
Evelyn: Oh, cocoa butter.
Tova: But it's probably not like, the natural one.
Evelyn: It's like, the Dollar Tree kind?
Tova: Right.
Evelyn: Which is really...it's actually still good. Tova: It's ok.
Yeah.
I mean, I don't know what it says the first couple of ingredients.
And I used to be really like "It's gotta be like, hand-pressed by grandmas." Evelyn: Organic, cold-pressed.
Evelyn: In like, Ghana. Tova: Look, bruh.
Evelyn: So you have no stretch marks?
Tova: I don't.
Not any that I didn't have before.
Evelyn: Right.
Tova: And I don't have any on my belly.
Like, some people got train tracks.
And I--
Evelyn: [laughs] You didn't have to do that.
You did not have to do that.
Everybody in the comments below [Tova laughs], if YOU had train tracks when you were pregnant,
leave a comment. Tova: You didn't use coconut oil!
Evelyn: We're about to get deep, alright?
Tova: Ok...
Evelyn: What's the scariest thing about being pregnant?
Tova: Uh...
Like, miscarrying.
Evelyn: [whistles] Tova: Yeah.
Uh, I also am afraid that like, doctors will try to scare me into like, getting a cesarian.
Evelyn: Ah, yeah.
Evelyn: I heard of doctors like, scheduling a C-section because like, they have somewhere to be.
Tova: Right. Like, they have a vacation to go to.
Or you can only get cesarians like, Monday through Friday.
So you have to like, schedule them.
Evelyn: [kisses teeth] Swindle! [sarcastic chuckle]
Tova: Right.
Evelyn: Um, what's the most fun thing about being pregnant?
Is there any joy in the pregnancy?
Tova: Um, I get to eat whatever I want and no one judges me.
That's good.
Evelyn: And you know, that really says a lot about the patriarchy.
[Tova laughs]
Evelyn: The hashtag #Patriarchy.
Tova: Right, exactly.
'Cause everybody's like "No, eat up!
Like, if you want that, like, I'm totally gonna get that for you."
No one would go to the grocery store for me beforehand. No one would do that.
Evelyn: Dang.
Tova: I like talking to Black mamas, 'cause they give me, like good advice about, like,
just pregnancy, and like, usually theirs are more homeopathic ideas than like, some of
my, um, Anglo-Saxon counterparts.
Evelyn: [laughs] Alright!
That's one way to put it!
Evelyn: So not scary, not fun, but just like, what are little annoying things about being pregnant.
Tova: Not being able to pick up things that are one the floor.
I have to like, go into a full like, Sumo squat [laughs] to like, pick up things.
Or I just leave it.
Like, I just like, God's will.
[both laugh]
Evelyn: That leads me to the next question.
You-- you good?!
Tova: Yeah...she's just really low.
That's all.
Evelyn: Don't do that! [both laugh]
Don't do that!
Evelyn: You are a teacher. Tova: I am.
So does teaching make you more like, concerned about being a mom?
Or make you more comfortable with being a mom.
'Cause you're already surrounded by kids a couple years in the future.
Tova: Right.
Um...that's a really good question!
My goodness!
Uh...can I say both?
Evelyn: Sure.
Tova: Less concerned because I know I like kids.
Evelyn: Yes.
Tova: 'Cause then if you don't like them and you have them that's terrible.
Evelyn: That's horrible.
Tova: And then the other thing is terrifying is like, how like, horrible our education
system is.
And like, how much you have to actually teach out--
Evelyn: In the home?
Tova: Yeah, teach in the home.
We have to be more proactive with your kids as far as with teaching them like, how to
be a human being too.
'Cause they don't teach that.
They don't have time to teach that.
Evelyn: Right. Tova: I don't have time to teach my kids how to be humans.
Evelyn: Dang!
Tova: I just have time to teach you how to read and how to count things.
Evelyn: I mean, that's still a big responsibility though.
Tova: True, but they don't know how to be humans.
[chuckles] My kids are really mean to each other.
Evelyn: So what kind of parent do you think you will be?
Tova: I hope I'm like a parent that like, talks to my kids.
Not like I'm they friend.
But like, I'm someone that they can confide in, and they're not afraid of.
We were just terrified of our parents.
[Evelyn laughs]
They probably still don't know stuff about us to this day.
We'll keep to our dying days.
Evelyn: The grave.
[both laugh]
Tova: Like, we'll talk to our kids more about like, different struggles and stuff like that.
Or at least give them language to like, have agency for themselves.
Evelyn: Mmm...
Tova: 'Cause if I know that most of the stuff that happened to me in high school was racist,
I probably would have said it and then gotten in trouble.
Evelyn: So you have named this child.
Tova: I have.
Evelyn: But I just wanna let y'all know, Internet Cousins, that this child is not whatever name
she has.
Tova: Right.
Evelyn: It's Evelyn Evelyn Jr.
Tova: Right.
Evelyn: So from this moment on, I'm gonna refer to the kid as Jr.
[Tova laughs]
Evelyn: [yells] Moving on!
Evelyn: Things that keep you up at night and you're just like, thinking about when it comes
to Jr.
Tova: Money.
Evelyn: Mmhm!
Tova: Like, how am I gonna--- I'm really like the only biological child, but my mom raised
my cousin.But like, so much money.
Evelyn: Yeah.
Tova: Like, middle school I was in band...
Evelyn: Mmm, mhmm!
Activities!
Tova: Activities.
Like, Ima have to do another--Ima have to do a GoFundMe.
Tova: Like, is she gonna have a healthy relationship with her father?
Is she gonna have a healthy relationship with men?
Am I going to be like, the loving, supportive mom that I think I'm gonna be?
Or am I gonna be like "Nah!"
You know what I mean? Evelyn: Right, right, right.
Tova: Like, uh, "Not my child!" Evelyn: Yeah.
Tova: I think all of us are like, damaged and healed by our parents, but like,
Evelyn: Woooo!!! Tova: What damage am I gonna do to my kid? You know?
Evelyn: Woooo!!!
[Tova laughs]
Tova: I be thinkin' bout stuff like that.
Evelyn: What are some of your favorite products that you're already buying or you've already received.
Tova: She has a tutu that she's gonna wear when she comes.
I'll snap a picture.
Evelyn: Oh, and I bought Jr. snapbacks 'cause you gotta balance it, you know what I'm saying?
Tova: Right.
Tova: True. Evelyn: Jr. might not want the tutus.
Jr. might, you know what I'm sayin', wanna look like Auntie Evelyn.
Evelyn: Do you have anything to add?
I feel like I'm at the end of my questions.
Tova: Just read as much information that you can.
And know your options, and um... when I found out I was pregnant, I was pretty much like
"I'm gonna keep her", but like, that's not everybody's decision.
That's not everybody's like, journey.
Tova: It's not, like, a glowing experience.
Uh, some people say you have a glow?
Evelyn: Oh! Tova: It's just you're tired.
All the time.
Tova: You're just like -- Evelyn: Mmm.
Tova: But it's the best sleep you'll ever get in your life though.
Pregnancy sleep is...
Evelyn: Like comatose.
Tova: It's like - yeah!
Like you go immediately to REM.
[Evelyn laughs]
Tova: If there's like a stage before that, you don't know it.
[Evelyn laughs]
Tova: You just pass out.
Me: Do you have a message for Jr.?
In this video, you can talk directly to Jr. Tova: Oh my goodness!
Tova: Uh, I can't wait to see you.
Come on October 31 like we talked about.
And Evelyn's a great auntie.
She's gonna be awesome.
Evelyn: Yes! Yes! Yes!
Tova: But I don't know about the "Jr." thing, so...
Evelyn: What?!!! [Tova laughs]
Tova: This was fun! Evelyn: Thanks so much for being in my video!
Tova: Yeah! Evelyn: Answering all of my pregnancy questions.
Tova: Are you gonna Snapchat?
Evelyn: Of course!!
[Tova laughs]
Evelyn: Am I gonna Snapchat?
Yeah.
Tova: Like, the birth?
Tova: Your auntie's gonna be there to record.
Evelyn: Snapchat!
Tova: And Snapchat it.
Snapchat me that -- [gasps]
Evelyn: Ohhhh! Tova: You can use the song!
Evelyn: Snapchat me that pussy -- ahh!! Tova: Cool. Ayyeee!
Evelyn: Or FaceTime me that pussy if it's--- Tova: I can't.
Evelyn: Are you tired?
Tova: I'm tired.
Evelyn: Okay. [both laugh]
♫ Soft music ♫ Evelyn: Um, if y'all have any pregnancy questions, leave them in the comments below, and
[both laugh] Tova will take time out of her busy schedule to answer them.
Tova: No I won't.
Evelyn: See you on the Internet somewhere.
Bye!
Tova: Bye!
[whoosh]
♫ Soft piano music ♫