- Can we name the name brand ketchup?
- Let's talk about that.
(groovy music)
Good mythical morning.
- Condiments,
they're like helpful food sherpas
skillfully guiding your meal,
steering you around bland snowdrifts
into the safe passage of well rounded flavor profiles
with the collective knowledge of all side sauces
that came before
completing your journey safely, soundly, deliciously
at the summit of yummy mountain.
- But are all condiments created equal
or are name brands truly superior
to their off brand counterparts?
It's time for Knock-Off Knockout Side Goo Edition.
- Okay we'll be playing this
just like we played the beverages episode awhile back.
In each round, we'll have four ramekins
of a particular condiment in front of us
and one of those will contain the big name brand
that we all know.
- Right. - Or do we?
And then the other three
will have some variety of store brand
or lesser known brand version of that condiment.
- Whoever loses has to eat a big ole spoonful of Josh sauce
which who knows what that could be or what's in that
but let's let the tasting begin.
- [Both] Round one.
- Alright, we got some ketchups here.
The question is which one is Heinz.
- Okay, just want to go down the line here?
- I'm looking at the,
this one looks a little brighter/lighter
but they're kinda the same. - This is the darkest one.
- Darkest.
So we'll start here with,
I don't want to get too much, you know?
That's a very fruit forward. - It's acidic.
It's good though.
- I'm just gonna use the same spoon 'cause,
- It's tainted.
- How do you taint it?
- You tainted it with other ketchup.
- Whatever then, I'll get a new spoon.
Okay.
- Mmm.
- This one is much more vinegary.
- It's good, man.
- But I would say they added vinegar to ketchup.
That's not just ketchup.
- But ketchup has vinegar.
- It's a lot more pungent.
- Doesn't all ketchup have vinegar?
Any ketchup that's worth its salt has salt and vinegar.
- But not that much.
This tastes like baby food.
- You like that? - I like that.
- I like the vinegary one.
- It's got a good top and a bottom to it.
- It's too sweet and baby foodish for me.
- Baby food?
Now the dark one, the dark horse.
I am so confused right now.
- This is the most vinegary,
this one's a close second.
I'm ready to guess.
- I just eat ketchup by the spoonful all day.
- [Stevie] I need you to stab your sauce
in three, two, one.
- We both voted for our favorites
which doesn't mean that much.
Okay.
- [Stevie] The Heinz brand ketchup
is in ramekin number
four.
- What?
It's the dark one.
- It's the dark one. - Okay, so it was my second
favorite one.
- [Stevie] Number one is Kroger.
Number two is Market Pantry
which is Target's brand.
- Okay.
- [Stevie] Number three is Great Value
which is Walmart's brand.
- Yeah I like Walmart's brand.
- I'm a Target, I'm classy.
- [Both] Round two.
- Okay, we got four brands of mayo.
One of these is Hellmann's
which is also known as Best Foods
if you're on the west coast.
- This one's I would say a little pinker, yellower.
- Pinker?
This one's whiter.
This one's the whitest one
and these all three seem yellow.
- Hmm, I would eat mayonnaise by the spoonful as a kid.
- You like that?
- I do.
- I don't like that.
- I'm a Duke's man,
true southern mayonnaise
which is probably not gonna be one of these.
- Now that's what I'm talking about.
That's getting more into a mayonnaise situation.
- That's better. - There's eggs in that.
That's fake.
- I think that one has more,
I think vinegar, isn't there vinegar in...
- Getting better.
- That one's good too.
- That one's better than that one.
- I don't know if this one's better than this one.
- What about this one?
Is that one better than that one?
- [Link] This one's the yellow.
- Oh whoa, that one bites you back.
What in the world's happening with that?
That's good.
- It's that vinegar you're picking up on, man.
- Yeah, you right.
- I think it's too much.
- It might be too much.
- But I might like it. - You know what,
I'm confident.
- [Stevie] Okay.
Three, two, one.
- Yep.
- [Stevie] Dangerous there.
- This one is the most pungent
and all three of these are good.
That one's not great.
- That one's horrible.
This one, this is special,
special in a very special way.
This must be Hellmannn's.
- [Stevie] The Hellmann's brand is in
ramekin number one.
- No, what?
No!
- [Stevie] Yeah, the most horrible one
apparently. - It's crappyish.
- [Stevie] Number two was Trader Joe's.
Number three was First Street
which is Smart and Final's brand
and number four is Duke's.
- Duke's.
- Duke's, the one that you said I'm a Duke's man.
- Duke's.
You talking 'bout Duke's?
There aint no way y'all actually got Duke's.
- [Both] Round three.
- Alright, we got a bunch of srirachas or srirachas
but we're looking for the sriracha
that we all know from the rooster, Huy Fong sriracha.
- Huy Fong.
- Huy Fong?
- Huy Fong.
- The rooster, rooster.
- [Rhett] Rooster sauce, man.
- [Link] Let's start down here.
- Oh hmm, it's good, tastes good.
- That is strong, whew!
Whew!
- I got to go a little bit easy on that.
- I went kind of hard on the first one.
Huh? - Super sweet.
- I'm trying to not let the first one
mess up the second one. - Now my mouth is confused.
- Yeah, that's tough.
- I think I actually know where this one's from.
- This one is watery.
- [Rhett] And it's also browner.
- It's got a lot more pieces in it.
- It's gritty. - Gritty.
- Granular. - Granular, even.
And this one's bright.
- Like a fish sauce.
- Yeah, that one's totally different.
That's not it, don't like it.
- They're all so different.
- This one's not great.
It's down to these two. - Granular brown, fishy,
one of these.
- I'm having a hard time.
- This one's hot.
- Yeah that one, okay, I'm ready to vote.
I'm ready to eat some ice cream
if you want to know the truth.
- [Stevie] Three, two, one.
- Yep, it's definitely got to be
that first one. - Oh Link,
you are really scaring me
with the way that you're wielding that thing.
- Scary, get scared girl.
- [Stevie] The Huy Fong is in
ramekin number two.
- Dang it.
- What's one?
- [Stevie] One is Texas Pete
which I myself was not familiar with
that they made that. - Texas Pete
makes a sriracha, huh?
- Well it's good.
This is Trader Joe's. - Number three is
Sky Valley Foods.
- Oh Sky Valley Foods.
- [Stevie] And number four is Fix Signature.
- Fix - Dang.
Okay that one,
we should've got that one.
- [Both] Round four.
- Okay, one of these is French's,
the classic yellow mustard.
- Let's use paint brushes.
- Why not?
- Starting down here,
this is kind of a middle of the road yellow.
It seems to be pretty firm
in the way that it sits in the ramekin.
- Then you just paint your tongue.
Mmm, this is a good way to eat mustard.
- After the sriracha
it brought out the spicy in the mustard.
This one's darker.
This is like...
Wow. - They're so different.
They're both still mustard though.
That's the thing.
- This one is more striking
like bright and striking flavors, I would call it.
- This one is the brightest of the colors.
- Yeah.
- Mmm, oh, yep. - Milder.
- But in the same family as number two.
- A better taste, I would say.
- Better taste?
- I think it has a...
- I think I'm tasting paint brush.
Now this is, number four is smooth and dark.
- [Stevie] I feel like the people deserve
a Rhett on Link painting and vice versa
for this final one.
I'm just saying it.
- Would that make you happy Stevie?
- [Stevie] It would make me and my people very pleased
in the comments.
But you rejected it.
You just straight up rejected it.
- No, I got another paint brush.
This is my Link brush.
I was saving it for you.
By the way--
- Were you not actually listening to her?
- Don't even try that last one.
- Oh don't even try the last one?
- Don't even try it.
- Oh wow.
- I mean, something's wrong with it.
It's been sitting out.
- It's just very vinegary.
Which one do you want?
- What do you want me to paint?
- My tongue.
What are you asking?
- Do you want me to paint something on your face?
- No.
Paint my tongue, doofus.
Okay, okay, you got the mustard spot.
- Sorry, I missed a little bit.
- So that's number one, right?
- Yeah that's number one.
What do you think?
- Which one do you want?
- Hit me with number two again.
Hit me with number two.
No hit me with number three.
- Let me get the bitter section of your tongue.
(laughing)
- [Stevie] Thank you.
- Alright, I'm glad your happy.
- I got to try this one again.
(coughing)
- That's pungent and I thought it was good but,
tastes like paint.
- I'm so confused.
- I'm blown away by how smooth
and horrible that is.
- Yeah smooth and horrible.
- Okay.
Oh gosh, this is tough.
- [Stevie] Three, two, one.
- You know what, I'm gonna go out on a limb
because I was between the two.
- I'm between one, two and three honestly but one--
- [Stevie] Are these your final answers?
- Yeah.
- [Stevie] The French's is in ramekin number
two.
Number one is Kroger,
number three is Plockman's
and number four is 365 from Whole Foods.
- Take it back to
Whole Foods man. - Whole Foods is,
they're not even using mustard seeds.
- Yeah woo.
- [Both] Round five.
- Out of all these soy sauces
we got to pick out the Kikkoman.
- I don't think that's the same commercial.
- Oh, what is that?
- That's Ricola.
- Ricola, oh let's do some cough drops.
- Okay, we're gonna use droppers
because that's the only way that I eat my soy sauce.
- [Rhett] These are dark, liquid.
- Oop, that's a lot.
- I mean how much soy sauce does a man need
in order to make a decision about soy sauce?
- [Link] A lot.
- Tastes like soy sauce to me.
There's nothing weird about it.
- I don't need that much, man.
Ooh, that's exactly the same.
- You think zactly the same?
- I think zactly the same.
- Zactly.
I don't know,
I I feel like it's a little teeny bit different.
- I tasted no difference.
- This one's smoother, no bubbles in my dropper.
Maybe that's just my technique.
- Whoa, really different. - Oh no.
That's a--
- This is like steak marinade.
- That's like Alegra.
That's like what my wife puts on--
- Her legs when she goes to the beach.
- Yep, that, London broil,
that's what I call her when she's at the beach.
There's my London broil,
'cause of that time she went to London
in shorts.
- Let me tell you, there are some white people in London
'cause the sun never comes out there.
- Oh, that's different.
That's got a, that's super fishy, super fishy.
Why you always put the fishy ones at four?
- It's like bad medicine.
And I ain't talking about the song.
- No but I don't know,
does Kikkoman taste fishy already?
- Y'all included something
that wasn't actually soy sauce
and it's this one
but it's good.
You're trying to throw us.
So these that taste
exactly the same. - I always feel
like it's either one or two
in every single time that I've done this.
- Man, our blood pressure's gonna go through the roof.
This one's the saltiest.
- Okay, I've got a guess.
I don't know what to think about it.
- [Stevie] Okay, let's guess.
Three, two, one.
- Alright, here we are again, Rhett.
- I like the shake, look at the shake.
- [Stevie] The Kikkoman is in ramekin number,
ramekin number one.
- Oh brother,
that means we tied. - So Rhett we have tied.
- [Stevie] Aren't you curious as to the other,
yeah, two is Signature Kitchen
which is Safeway's brand.
- Pretty good.
- [Stevie] Three is La Choy.
And four is San-J.
- This is La Choy?
- Yep. - Does is say soy sauce
on the bottle or something else?
- It does not taste like soy sauce
and the last one tastes like fish sauce.
But you know what, I'm happy
because neither of us have to eat Josh sauce.
- No Rhett, it means that we both have to eat
Sir Joshington's Josh Sauce,
squeezable sandwich butter.
- We're gonna enjoy that in Good Mythical More.
- Thank you for liking, commenting and subscribing.
- You know what time it is.
- Hey I'm Jake.
- And I'm Brandon.
- And we're currently traveling North America
in our 2004 Honda Civic
but we reside in Levingworth, Kansas.
- And it's time to spin the wheel of mythicality.
- Is that a Civic ad?
- Yeah, it's the best kind of Civic ad,
the ones where they don't show a Civic.
- Stay tuned for Good Mythical More
where we're going
to put different condiments on sugar cookies.
- Oh we gonna invent.
And to find out where the wheel of mythicality's
gonna land.
- [Rhett] Steer your ears
towards some biscuits you can hear.
Listen to new episodes of Ear Biscuits now on Apple Podcasts
or wherever you get your podcasts.