>>>
>>> SO
>>> SO WE
>>> SO WE TALKED A LOT ON THE SHOW ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH
CHALLENGES FACING YOUNG PEOPLE
THAT IS OF COURSE VERY
IMPORTANT BUT AS WE AGE AND GO
TO MAJOR TRANSITIONAL PERIODS
LIKE EMPTINESS AND RETIREMENT,
THERE ARE OTHER TIMES OF LIFE
THAT ARE VERY SPECIFIC TO THE
WAY THEY STRESS US, HERE WITH
MORE IS CATHERINE WALTER, A
CERTIFIED SOCIAL WORKER IN
GERITOL ENERGY.
GERITOL ENERGY. WELCOME.
WELCOME.
WELCOME. I AM SO GLAD YOU'RE A
SPECIALIST IN GERONTOLOGY,
TELLS ABOUT WHAT YOU DO.
>> SO A LOT OF WHAT I DO IS
WORKING WITH TRANSITIONS AND
STRESSORS FROM ROUGHLY AGE 50
ON WORD.
ON WORD.
ON WORD. AND THERE CAN BE A LOT.
>> JUST AS MANY AS WHEN WE ARE
GROWING UP.
GROWING UP. SO AS WE GET OLDER WHAT ARE
SOME OF THE PRIMARY CHALLENGES
AND THE POINT IN LIFE WHERE WE
FIND THE STRESSORS COME UP?
>> THERE ARE A FEW THINGS I
SEE IN MY PRACTICE, ONE WOULD
BE ADJUSTMENT.
BE ADJUSTMENT. ADJUSTMENT TO RETIREMENT OR
EMPTY NESTING, BRIEF AND LOSS,
NOT ONLY LOSING SEMI SPECIAL
WHICH CAN CERTAINLY INCLUDE A
PET AS WELL.
THAT IS NOT SPOKEN ABOUT
ENOUGH, BUT ALSO GRIEF AROUND
NOT HAVING DONE CERTAIN THINGS
IN LIFE FOR CERTAIN
OPPORTUNITIES.
OPPORTUNITIES. THERE IS ALSO AN OPPORTUNITY
THAT ONCE THE BUSYNESS OF
MIDDLE AGE IS IN THE REARVIEW
MIRROR A LITTLE BIT, THERE IS
THE OPPORTUNITY FOR
REINVENTION.
REINVENTION. EXPLORING WHAT I REALLY WANT?
BOTH IN TERMS OF MY LIFE
PURPOSE, MY GENDER AND
SEXUALITY, A CAREER CHANGE,
THERE IS JUST A LOT OF
POSSIBILITY.
POSSIBILITY. >>, SO IS A PART OF WHAT
PEOPLE GO THROUGH LEARNING TO
SORT OF TURN THAT ONE IDEA,
THE POSSIBILITIES ARE
NARROWING INTO, OKAY, LET US
MAKE SURE THOSE COUNT AND KIND
OF APPROACH IT IN THAT WAY,
HOW DO YOU DELIVER THIS KIND
OF SERVICE SO THAT THEIR
PSYCHOLOGY CAN DEAL WITH THE
TRANSITIONS?
TRANSITIONS? >> I THINK ONE THING THAT IS
IMPORTANT IS THE WAY PEOPLE
TELL THEIR STORY INFORMS WHAT
OPPORTUNITIES THEY SEE
AVAILABLE TO THEM.
SO IF YOU ARE SOMEBODY WHO
SEES YOUR PATH NARROWING AND
NARROWING, YOU ARE LESS LIKELY
TO THINK THAT YOU COULD NOT
EMBARK ON A NEW ADVENTURE
BECAUSE IT SEEMS FUTILE.
YOU NO LONGER HAVE THE TIME
CONSTRAINTS, THERE CAN BE A
BLOSSOMING WHEN YOU HAVE THIS
NEW OPPORTUNITY TO TRY ALL OF
THESE DIFFERENT THINGS.
>> THAT SEEMS LIKE THAT WOULD
APPLY TO EMPTY NEST, WE ALL
MOURN OUR KIDS LEAVING HOME,
THAT IS THE ONE PART OF LIFE
THAT IS ALL OVER.
WE ALSO, IT IS PRETTY
EXCITING.
EXCITING.
EXCITING. YOU CAN FIGURE OUT WOULD LIKE
YOU WOULD LIKE TO DO FOR THE
WEEKEND.
WEEKEND.
WEEKEND. IS IT OF CARPOOLING FOR THE
ENTIRE WEEKEND.
ENTIRE WEEKEND. LOSS OF A SPOUSE, LOSS OF A
PET AS YOU MENTIONED, THE LOSS
OF AN INTIMACY IS IF SIMILE IS
UNWELL OR OBVIOUSLY IF THEY'RE
NOT THERE, THAT IS SOMETHING
THAT YOU CAN ALMOST NEVER TALK
ABOUT.
ABOUT.
ABOUT. >>
ABOUT. >> YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
I THINK THE ABILITY TO NOTICE
WHAT IS HAPPENING AND BE VERY
HONEST ABOUT WHAT IS
HAPPENING, AND THAT REALLY IS
THE FIRST STEP.
IF YOU'RE SAYING I AM NOTICING
THAT YOU DON'T HAVE THE SAME
INTIMACY THAT WE USED TO, THAT
IS AN OPPORTUNITY FOR
CURIOSITY.
CURIOSITY. FOR A COUPLE THAT HAS HAD 30
YEARS WITH A VIBRANT SEX LIFE,
THEN SUDDENLY SOMETHING
HAPPENS PROSTATE CANCER,
CARDIAC ISSUES, ANY NUMBER OF
THINGS IT DOES NOT MEET
INTIMACY STOPS.
INTIMACY STOPS. IT CERTAINLY MEANS THAT IT
PROBABLY NEEDS TO CHANGE,
NEEDS TO GET A LITTLE MORE
CREATIVE THERE IS A LOT OF
OPPORTUNITY THERE AS LONG AS
YOU CAN APPROACH IT WITH
CURIOSITY INSTEAD OF STIGMA.
>> AS WE AGE WE OBVIOUSLY ARE
CLOSER TO THE ENDS OF OUR
LIVES IN THE BEGINNING OF THAT
IS JUST A FACT.
BUT HOW YOU DEAL WITH IT, WHAT
YOU LOOK AT WITH IT, WHAT YOU
DO WITH IT, WE HAVE CHOICES
ABOUT ARE THESE WERE THE KINDS
OF TIMES TO SEEK THERAPY AND
TAKE INVENTORY?
TAKE INVENTORY? OF WHAT IS HAPPENING IN OUR
LIVES?
LIVES?
LIVES? >>
LIVES? >> IT DEFINITELY IS.
I THINK PEOPLE SOMETIMES DO
SEEK OUT THERAPY BECAUSE THEY
ARE TAKING INVENTORY AND THAT
CAN BE IMMENSELY RICH BUT I
THINK ONE THING TO THINK ABOUT
IS THE ISSUES THAT PEOPLE FACE
AT THE END OF THEIR LIFE OR
EVEN WITH THE DECADES OF THE
END OF THEIR LIFE, THERE IS AN
URGENCY AND AN OPPORTUNITY FOR
GROWTH.
GROWTH.
GROWTH. THIS ISN'T SAILING OFF INTO
THE SUNSET, THERE IS STILL
QUITE A LOT OF LIFE AVAILABLE.
>> AND YOU WANT TO USE EVERY
BIT AVAILABLE.
BIT AVAILABLE. >> CAN WE DO BETTER IN THE WAY
WE FRAME UP OUR VISION OF
OLDER PEOPLE?
OLDER PEOPLE? I SEE COMMERCIALS AND OTHER
THINGS WHERE GRANDMA IS THE
DUMMY WHO CANNOT FIGURE OUT
HOW TO WORK HER PHONE OR
WHATEVER.
WHATEVER.
WHATEVER. >> I THINK THAT WE AS A
SOCIETY COULD DO BETTER AROUND
THE IDEA OF VULNERABILITY.
I THINK THAT THERE ARE SOME
VULNERABILITIES THAT CAN COME
AT ANY STAGE IN LIFE, THINGS
WE DON'T KNOW, THINGS THAT ARE
NEW TO US BUT ESPECIALLY AS HE
GETS TO OLDER AGE THERE IS
THIS FEELING THAT MY KIDS ARE
WAITING FOR ME TO MISPLACE MY
CAR KEYS SO THEY CAN PUT ME IN
ASSISTED LIVING.
ASSISTED LIVING. AND, THERE IS JUST THIS
HYPERVIGILANCE OF I CANNOT
FORGET THE NORMAL THINGS THAT
EVERYBODY FORGETS.
EVERYBODY FORGETS. >> BECAUSE IT IS WRAPPED IN
THE VISION OF YOUR AGE?
>> RIGHT, AND THE OTHER THING
I WOULD SAY IS WE ARE A
FRONTIER NATION, WE HAVE THIS
IDEA OF THE GOOD OLD PERSON AS
THE 95-YEAR-OLD WHO IS STILL
OUT MILKING THE COWS.
THAT IS THE ONLY WAY TO AGE
WELL.
WELL.
WELL. I
WELL. I WOULD PUSH BACK AGAINST THAT
AND SAY IT IS POSSIBLE TO AGE
WELL EVEN IF YOU NEED A LITTLE
EXTRA HELP, EVEN IF YOU ARE
LEARNING HOW TO GRACEFULLY
ACCEPT HOW LATER IN LIFE