Over the years, Michael Jackson's poor
self-image and physical perfectionism has been well documented,
having undertaken several image overhauls in his lifetime to resolve his
insecurities, many suspected he suffered from body
dysmorphia syndrome, a condition in which a person is consumed
by their intense dissatisfaction with their appearance and sought
to perfect minor flaws, often unnoticeable to others.
Michael Jackson was open about how insecurities were triggered by his family,
teasing him for features like his fat nose and having a pizza face as a result
of teenage acne. What did these insecurities about his
appearance extend to his weight and body image?
And was Michael Jackson's lifelong,
slender physique a result of his secret eating disorder?
Here's the detail.
As a child, Michael Jackson's bright eyes round face an adorable chubby cheeks won
the hearts of thousands of young fans around the world.
However, beyond the catchy tunes and synchronized dance routines,
Michael Jackson has since shed light on the unhappiness he felt as a child
trapped. Michael was a victim of the tyranny his
abusive father, Joseph Jackson, subjected him to,
and he felt enslaved by his family, controlled by Motown executives
and pressured by the expectations of the public for Michael's entire early life.
He was controlled in every way a human
being could have been from what he wore to what he said to where
he went to how he performed, what song he sang.
Every moment of the day was dictated
by others with often conflicting views and motivations
and private conversations.
As an adult, Michael Jackson reflected on how he used food as a way to gain some
kind of control over his life, stating that while his father and brothers
resorted to violence and aggression towards others, instead he internalized
his emotions and took things out on myself as a form of self harm
is seen as highly classified.
Motown
was me and
I had no control.
We had no.
I just. I guess I a
and you know.
I think, you know,
in reference to his diet, his mother,
Katherine Jackson, stated, quote, I'd worry about his lack of interest
in food and the family would go out for hot fudge sundaes.
He'd be the only one who wouldn't want one.
I'm not hungry, I'd say now what kid turns down a hot fudge sundae?
Michael Jackson also spoke about how his
teenage years were a traumatizing experience for him.
As he was growing out of his cute little kid image, he felt under pressure
to remain childlike in the eyes of the public.
I think every child star suffers through
this period because you're not the cute and charming child that you were and you
start to grow and they want to keep you young forever and little forever.
Who's they? The public.
Some lady recognized my brothers and all of us.
Oh, my God. Is the Jackson five?
Where's little Michael? Where's little Michael?
She's looking around. Looking down.
Where's the Michael?
In another person goes.
There he is.
And she goes, Oh, what happened?
Just like that.
And God, I just could have died right there.
Typical of many adolescents suffering
from anorexia, their motivation can be in part to physically stem or even reverse
their development into adulthood and fear of growing up, the loss of their childhood
and to remain a child in the eyes of those around them.
In his early adulthood,
Michael Jackson decided to adopt a vegetarian diet partly due to his desire
for a dancer's body, believing his movements would appear
cleaner and more precise if his body was slimmer and more angular.
Quote After Michael took Jermaine's lead and decided to go meat,
he became even less interested in eating than before, stated his mother.
Although a vegetarian, Michael reportedly didn't like vegetables
or chocolate and restricted his diet to such an extent.
He was notorious for being a very picky eater.
Quote, I changed my diet and stopped eating beef,
chicken, pork and fish, as well as certain fattening foods.
I just want to look better, live better and be healthier.
I'm a vegetarian now and I'm so much thinner.
I've been on a strict diet for years.
I feel better than I ever have, a healthier and more energetic
Michael Jackson said in his 1988 autobiography, Moonwalk.
Although Michael Jackson stated the motive
behind his changing diet was to improve himself personally and his abilities as
a performer, professionals would argue that at its root, anorexia is an anxiety
and control disorder, that perfectionists are notoriously prone
to not so much a preoccupation with being thin, but it's about having enough, quote,
discipline to control your own body, counterbalancing trauma,
the experience when outside circumstances completely overwhelm them.
Like many struggling with an eating disorder, Michael Jackson emphasized
the health benefits of such a reduced and restricted diet, although privately he
admitted that he felt defeated by his anorexia and then he suffered
with multiple health issues as a result of the illness.
And in an
interview,
I said
he was really good.
In a 2005 interview, he said, quote,
I go through these serious food crises when I could go weeks without eating.
I take stuff to keep weight on.
When I get upset, I stop eating sometimes until I'm unconscious.
In preparation for a world tour, Michael Jackson's doctors would insist
that he go on a strict high protein diet so that he'd be able to keep his stamina
up during his energetic performances, much like a patient suffering
from an eating disorder would receive and treatment.
Michael was forced to eat set meals each
day, which were weighed and prepared by his personal chef.
His mother recounted, quote,
I hope that after a year of eating three square meals a day and Michael had
developed a permanent interest in food, my hope was dashed when he told me,
I'll be glad when it's all over so I can start eating the way I want to again.
I'm tired of forcing myself to eat.
When Michael Jackson reached his 40s,
he became increasingly concerned about looking old, saying that he hated aging
and it's the ugliest thing in the world to him.
Michael mentioned to friends that as he
was getting older, he did not want a lot of body fat, but went overboard to avoid
it, fearful he would get fat if he adopted a healthier diet.
While preparing for his 2009 career comeback with This Is It concert series,
Michael Jackson appeared thinner than ever.
Although Michael's eating disorder may
have not been the sole reason for his frail frame,
nutritionist Keith Thomas Ayyoub said he would not be surprised if reports
that Jackson had only been eating one meal a day turned out to be true,
especially if the singer had been taking a number of different medications.
Quote, It may not have had an eating
disorder in the sense of anorexia or bingeing and purging.
It may be that the medications he was
on made food taste funny or suppressed his appetite.
So it may not have been an eating disorder in the traditional sense.
However, did Michael Jackson's in disorder and low
body weight contribute to his sudden death by cardiac arrest?
Michael Jackson's cardiac arrest was
caused by a high dose of prescription drugs.
When medications like strong painkillers,
anti-depressants and relaxants are taken in excess or in combination,
they kill people causing respiratory and heart failure.
Also, these medications spread around
the body and get absorbed by fat and muscle tissue.
This means that a bigger person can
tolerate a higher dose of drugs than someone slimmer.
In Michael Jackson's case, his body weight was only 136 pounds and he
was about five feet eight inches on the eve of his death.
A very slight physique for a man in his 50s.
Therefore, if he had more weight, he may have not died as quickly because
the fat tissue would have absorbed some of the drugs.
In this respect,
his eating disorder and weight loss did contribute to Michael's sudden death.
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