*Wapoosh* Top of the mornin' to ya laddies, my name is Jacksepticeye and welcome back to Super Mario Maker 2!
We're gonna fucking do this level this time. I am determined.
I'm a determined little mushroom! I'm a determined little toad! I'm so gonna finish it this time.
I believe in myself.
I believe in Steve. I believe in everything that I need to believe in.
Whoo!
Yeah, buddy. Okay, get those blocks off. All right, all I need to do is pass the start of the level
If I can get past the start of it, I'll be happy.
I almost died just now.
Okay, give me this.
Huh- Whoo!
Okay.
In we go! Big old mushroom head flying in there again. Okay.
All right, I don't know if there is any freaking technique for this.
Oh god, you can't ground pound them. People are saying to try ground pounding them. You can't do that.
Also, people are pointing out that I can spin jump and I can wall jump, which I absolutely keep forgetting about for some reason.
Get that little- little extra bit of airtime. Okay. Here we go.
Uh-oh. Did I just mess it up? Oh- Oh god. Okay, you stay over there.
Stay over there, kind sir.
Allright. Where is he coming next? Where's he coming next? Okay. He's coming over there
Uh-oh x1
Uh-oh x2
*Weird Sean noises*Am I safe? I'm safe. I'm safe here.
Okay. DIE, YOU LITTLE SPRING WEIRDO! Ah! Don't kill m e here. That would be very un-epic!
Okay, come up again. Come up again. There you go, there you go. Alright.
*Bloop*NO!x3
What did I do? x2
Oh, I fucked it! (yeah ya did jackaboi)
No x4 God, it was going so well! I could see my dad at the finish line waiting for me.(oof)
Come on, man. My heart's in my throat. That's not where your heart's supposed to be, Sean. I'm a doctor I would know. Ah!
*every apology video ever commence*
How am I gonna record this?
Hey, guys, Jacksepticeye here. I just wanted to apologize, umm..
Last time, I did something just
completely awful and I hope that you guys can forgive me.
I've learned the error of my ways and I'm really just trying to be a better person.
What I was doing in the previous episode was not me
That is not a good reflection of who I am.
I'm sorry that I kept calling in the spring a switch. (you should be. i am very offended)
I'll never let it happen again. I just hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me (the slap chop guy will always forgive)
Alright. Grab the switch and go!
*glorious Sean singing*
I almost got up to the, freaking pipe last time as well. I saw, like, the arrow showing me another-
*INHALE* God.
*laughing* The little momentum carried me.
I saw the arrow showing up to be like "Ooh (x1) new switch is coming in!" This part isn't even hard.
Now I'm just messing it up for the meme. For the lols.
Wait *confused in coffee bean*
Could I bring the spring in with me? I don't know why bringing the spring in would help me.
Can I even actually get in with that?
Okay, I can't actually get in with that. Maybe I bring a box with me!
...
I don't know what that's gonna do, but I'm determined to try.
Eat box, bitches.
Ooh(x2), I can block them off with it.
Ooh(x3) That's actually interesting.
I can just keep jumping on your head, then.
Ooh (x4)!
*Bloop* No! (x4)
Okay, you guys can't get me if I'm here.
Uh-oh(x1) Where's he coming. Uh-oh(x2)
Uh oh(x3) am I dead? Am I dead?
No, I'm not!
I lived, bitches
Okay. Oh god, I might be so dead soon, though. Oh, oh. There's a spring. There's a spring. What does that mean?
Oh (x7)
Yes, yes, just let me out! Just let me out! YEAH BABY!
OH!
SWEET CHECKPOINT. Oh, thank god. Okay. Oh god (x3.5)
*laughs*
*imitates Toad*
Oh, we're making progress. Making bacon progress. Okay. What the hell do I do?
Uh-oh. That's bad.
*laughing
I'm a toasty little shroom! Wait, what the hell am I supposed to do?
Oh(x5)
Oh, god.
No, no, no, no, no!
Toad!
You hairy vagina. *so unnecessary*
Okay. *giggles some more*
Ahh.
*Bloop* Oh, come on man. Now you're just singeing your little butthole hairs. Everybody else:
"Oh, we're gonna have to censor all the swear words in Mario Maker
Because YouTube will demonetize us." Jacksepticeye: "Hold my beer." *giggles*
Okay, grab this and go. That's not- Ah!
You fucker.
Once more. Once more with feeling, Toad. How the hell do I do this in time?
There is a way. I just don't know what it is. Oh god.
*Sean TRIES to sing*
Oh, Toad! Toad! Toad...
*intense gamer concentration that abruptly ends when Jack fucks up*
I wouldn't even be able to do that if I tried. Oh no, toad. I need your energy.
GOD DAMMIT I need your energy. Hands up to the screen right now. Give me that energy. Give me that gusto!
All right, you take this and you throw it there. And then you land here, and then that's a perfect trip home.
Ohh god.
Yes, yes they already- Yes!
Oh!
Booyaka. All right. You're coming with me a little spring.
Okay.
Oh, the fires of hell. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Now what? Oh god
Don't hurt my little toesies
Ah Ah! What do I do? What do I do? Where am I going? What do I do?
Ah!!
Okay, we're back over here. Oh, and it stops. Oh, thank god, oh, I need one of those boxes, though. Wait, do I?
Ah-hee!
There's one right here. Oh, and the thing stopped because the- okay. Okay, just grab the box. Just grab the box and go.
Oh no, is this another elevator? No!
No, god no.
Oh shit.
No, no, no. Oh god.
*Bloop* *yells like some part of him is getting burned in that lava*
COME ON!
*inhales through teeth* I got so far!(aggressive Jack appears)
*Sean singing*
*Bloop*
[Rage fulled singing along]
All right, I guess we're going in without a box this time.
Don't even ask me how that's gonna go. 'Cause probably not very well. All right. Where are you coming from? Uh-oh, I'm dead
I'm dead. I can't dodge this.
Oh, those moments suck. I could have just jumped to the left, and then jump back over to the right with a wall jump
But you know what?
Mother Theresa didn't save everybody in one day. Okay. I know I know it's happening Mystery Science Theater. That's what's happening.
I don't know why but it's happening. All right, you boxes go down now
And I- Wahoo!
There we go. Alright, go to this part. No problem. Alright, can you bring a- Can you bring a box into my direction?
or something
...
No?
Alright...
Into the freaking hole of doom we go!
Alright can I trigger him to just come up straight? And then do this. Oh god.
I just want to keep jumping on your head. Your head specifically.
*Bloop* Fuckers!!!
Wrapped in bacon!!!
Being served in a Sunday when they shouldn't even be alive. Video games are fun, guys. They don't make people violent.
It's called Companion Spring, but I keep having to leave my companion behind!
My companion spring is nowhere to be seen. Oh gosh, dang. Dang, man
Alright, stay here
Stay here. That's good
That's good
I literally just pressed jump.
I just pressed it! Ahhh!!!
I knew what was about to happen. It's like seeing your life flash before your eyes, but instead of your life
It's just a really shitty rendition of your life. A really crappy rendition where you're the bad guy and everyone hates you.
Don't- Don't you dare.
I thought you were gonna do it. I thought you were gonna do it to me. Oh, what's this? Pow! Pow with my tiny head!
Wow, it's actually not that tiny in comparison to most other things in this world.
Okay, now I can stand on you. All right
Can't believe this part is no problem!
It's no problem! If I could get a box going in here, that'd be great.
Just bounce a box to me. Just bounce a box to me! You've done it before.
Yes!
Yes! Uh-oh.
Just- Just- Toad. Toad. In we go, boys.
Alright
Now if I keep that over there will that trap anybody coming down?
It might. It might just do-
*Sharp inhale* Fffffffffff
Fiddlesticks.
You know what, Ross? I'm so glad that we're friends.
I'm so glad that we actually get to see each other in real life, and not just over the Internet
Because that means when I can see you next I'm gonna come punch you in the dick.
AHH!
Please, at least just tell me that after the elevator next it's over.
That that is the end. That there is no more.
Because that would at least give me a little bit of happiness
in this dark dreary cold ass world of ours
Okay. Woah. Don't you dare hippity-hop me to the barbershop. Uh-oh, this might be bad.
That's not that bad.
All right, keep an eye out.
Keep an eye out. All right, duck. Duck, jump, do whatever. I don't really care at this point.
*Bloop* *Anguished yelling*
Why is there lag in my system? I jumped! I pressed the fucking button, but toads fat fuck.
Okay, that's my fault.
*More yelling*
Oh, there's too many of them. There's- there's too many of them. There's too many things happening on screen right now for me.
I can't even see them
Okay, okay I'm-
*Bloop* No-
[Whimpering that turns into yelling] AH FU-
[Singing along with music-] Oh...
Okay, oh god, oh god. *Bloop*
What fucking bounced me?
Couldn't I just do a this thing?
*Bloop* *Laughing*
Ah-ha, I have a box. It's over for you bitches now.
*Bloop* *Sharp inhale* Fu- *Laughing*
Oh, I knew that was coming and everything and I still fucked it
*Laughter* I don't think he's actually able to get me over here. Is he?
If I'm able to- No don't fucking wall jump! Toad, you fat-headed freak
That's not what I wanted to do
I wanted to stay in the one fucking spot just jumping up and down waiting my own business minding my life
[Yelling once again]
Take it easy this time take it easy this time, Toad-aroo.
There you go, just stay here
That's
Anus! I wanted the block to fall.
I think I can create a little window for them
And then I don't think the dragon dude can actually get me over there, but I can't make it work
I don't think- I don't think I should have- I don't think I should have a box.
How am I supposed to do this now, I've got it this time. This is it. This is the big one.
Wait'll you fucking see. I got it.
*deep sigh*
Okay. Stay up here. Get rid of that one. No, don't get rid of both of them.
Wait, wait, just stay here like this
Just say here like this!
Don't- nobody fucking breathe on it. Nobody do a thing. Just stay here.
Can he even get me? Oh god. Oh god.
Oh, I'm so nervous.
*pants in dog*
Ah, ah, ah, ah!!
I don't want to think about it. I don't wanna think about it. I don't wanna think about it.
I just gonna close my eyes and be home. I am home, but it feels like hell!
Hold my hand. Hold my fucking hand. (do you understand how computers work?)
Did I break the game? (kinda?)
No, no. Oh God. I don't think he can get me!
Are you fucking kidding me? It would have gone on this long?
Awesome, there's gonna be a block above my head that's gonna fuck this all up
Wait
*Bloop*
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!-
*EXPLOSION*
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! (nope you fucked it)
*Bloop* Why did I do that???!!!!
What is wrong with me?!!! I had it!!! That was it!!
I just needed to make that one fucking jump, well, I don't know if that's it. It was at least another fucking checkpoint.
But that was it for the elevator!
I. Am. Fucking. LIVID.
I am SO upset.
No...
I'll never do that again. Okay, at least I know I could break the fucking level now. I'm staying here.
I'm not moving a fucking inch
I'm not letting anything happen to this. Is that box going down? No, there's boxes underneath it.
Uh-oh. x4
*pro gamer silence until Sean fucks it up once again XD)
yOU STOLE MY FUCKING BASTION OF SAFETY YOU CUNT!!!( so unnecessary)
Couldn't I just stay here without the button- Without the guy?
Could I just- Can I just stay here?
Can you g- Just everything stay exactly as it is, please. Please.
PLEASE.
Please. For the love of god, please
It's not gonna take my block is it? I don't think it's gonna take my block.
Yes, take them. Take them and drag them down to fucking hell!
I'm upset- I'm not upset. I'm not. I'm having a great time. I'm having a lovely, lovely time. Great time.
*Crying* Please. (x3)
I literally can't go anywhere. This has to work. If it doesn't I'm just dead.
*Crying*
*VCR fast forwarding sfx*
I'm afraid to touch anything.
Uh-oh. Oh-oh.
Oh! Oh, checkpoint. Checkpoint, please. Checkpoint!
It says POG? Did I do it?
Did I do it?
OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
BBBBBAAAAABBBBBBYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh, you fucker.
AH! It's over! The demon is slain. Oh, he is no more. I never have to look at this level ever again.
Oh my god, holy fuck.
*Sigh of relief*
*looks at the 49'24'357 it took for him to beat that bullshit of a level*
Not too bad. (one could stand to disagree)
Wait, I can't click like. Oh, I clicked like it on- on it already.
The record is 3'49
Well, I guess if you know how to beat it and you have the mechanics down you can just get in and do it immediately.
Oh my god. Ross.
*Smooches*
Love you. Wonderful. Look at that little gremlin face of his.
*Cheers*
It is done! I am part of the point 0.48%. Oh, thank Jesus.
Oh, the pain.
Oh, I just busted the fattest nut. I feel like I've just watched my kid grow up and go off to college.
It's marvelous.
Okay. Well, I'm gonna go and run naked through a forest for about a half hour just to de- cleanse myself and get back with nature.
Everybody send Ross your love. Everybody tweet at Ross, @RubberNinja , that he's a sweet special
sexy Australian boy and we all love him
*Smooches*
Finally! I am released!
subtitles brought you by your neighborhood gay hermit girl. this was fun. BYEEE
I'm actually really glad I passed that. I didn't think I would for the longest time.