[APPLAUSE]
- Thank you.
I added the turtleneck so you know I'm serious.
Thank you, and welcome to the future.
When I started the Ellen Shop 15 years ago,
I had no idea the impact that we would have on the world.
Quite simply, Ellen products are the most important contribution
to humanity ever.
[APPLAUSE]
That is a fact, in my opinion.
We can hardly contain ourselves and we
have got some great new products starting with this Ellen water
bottle.
[APPLAUSE AND CHEERS]
Apple got rid of the button on their phone, but I added one.
[LAUGHTER]
You may have missed that.
I'm going to show that to you again.
[APPLAUSE]
And I'm excited to announce that this bottle comes
with mouthal recognition.
All you have to do is you put it to your mouth,
the nozzle recognizes your mouth, you sip it,
it's delivered to your mouth.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
This amazing water system is available now in the Ellen Shop
and at ellenshop.com.
Now let's move on to my new product
that you've never seen before.
Apple's new phone has amazing new features,
but not everybody can afford $1,000.
So I've come up with a product that
has the same features for a fraction of the price.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the iPhone Book X.
[MUSIC AND APPLAUSE]
Let me show you how this new technology works.
Let's start with the display.
The new iPhone has a five-inch display.
Check this out.
The iPhone Book--
11.6 inches and [INAUDIBLE].
[APPLAUSE]
And in a single iPhone Book you get not one but two colors.
You get white and yellow.
Now let's talk about the contacts in your phone.
People love that their phone holds all of their contacts.
Guess what?
The iPhone Book not only holds all of your contacts,
it holds all of the contacts!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
Anybody you can think of is in here.
It's alphabetized, it's easy to navigate.
You swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe.
And if you want to delete a contact--
[LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE]
Not in a cloud.
They can't find it.
Let's talk a little about all the things that this can do
that your phone can't.
You can use it as a doorstop.
If you're short, you can sit on it
to see over the steering wheel.
When fully charged, the iPhone X battery
lasts for an amazing 21 hours.
However, my iPhone Book X lasts forever.
[APPLAUSE]
I recommend to not charge it because there's
no battery and no need to buy a case, because guess what?
It does not break when you drop it.
It does not shatter.
No more shattered screens!
No more taking your phone to that creepy guy
in the mall to fix it.
If you can't afford Apple's iPhone X for $1,000,
don't you worry.
I am selling the iPhone Book X for only $500.
[APPLAUSE]
And I know you're all anxious to get your hands on one,
so this-- we will start the preorders tomorrow
and they will officially be available sometime next year.
Turns out it's kind of difficult to get your hands on these.
So, in conclusion, you can find the water bottle as well as
other Ellen Fit products in the Ellen Shop or at ellenshop.com.
The iPhone Book X will be available eventually.
And to conclude my conclusion, thank you
and godspeed, everyone.