There are many ways to open up a relationship and many forms of open relating. Opening up your
relationship can be a fantastic way to spice up your sex life and to add a new exciting dimension
to your life together. However, it's not for everybody and it absolutely needs to be approached
in a very caring, conscious and open-minded way. So if opening up your relationship is something
that you've been considering, make sure to stay till the end of this video for all the tips,
ideas and best practices. My name is Helena Nista and I make videos that help you have the best sex
of your life. And today, I'm going to guide you through the tricky territory of open relating.
Opening up your relationship is a big decision and it shouldn't be taken lightly. Also, there
are quite a few steps between getting an idea to do it and then actually executing it together with
your partner. I personally had practiced open relating for a few years of my life and it's
definitely something that I might do again in the future. There are many potential benefits
of opening up your relationship: it can bring in a new spark and excitement into your life together,
it can be a great path of learning to communicate more effectively together since a lot of things
will need to be discussed and agreed upon. It can be an adventure into new territory that will help
you learn new things about yourself and grow as a lover, as a partner and as a human being,
etc. But there are also many potential issues that both of you will need to face
if you decide to go ahead with this decision. So the better informed you are about this topic,
the better you'll be able to navigate this journey together. To a lot of people the concept
of opening up your relationship can sound really scary. Their imagination can immediately take them
into some elaborate scenario that they're just not comfortable with. But open relating can mean a lot
of different things like watching porn together or going for a coffee and flirting with someone else
without actually taking things to the bedroom. It can mean occasionally visiting a sex party or
a swingers bar where both of you could but don't actually have to do anything with anybody else.
It could mean hiring an escort for a threesome or inviting someone else to live with the two
of you as a full-time partner. Plus, anything else between all of these extremes. There are countless
ways to do open relating and whatever you agree on needs to work for both of you. The best candidates
for open relating are couples who already have a solid relationship together, full of trust,
love and mutual commitment. Plus, of course they both desire to open up their relationship or are
at least open-minded or curious about the idea. Conversely, any couple that struggles with issues,
trust or problems together should not try to bring any other people into their relationship in an
attempt to fix things. They should definitely work on their relationship first, preferably with help
of a skilful therapist. Also, couples where only one person wants to open up their relationship
should not be choosing that path forward. So if you ever feel like your partner is trying to push,
manipulate or coerce you into opening up your relationship while you're not keen on it,
do not go ahead. I've made that mistake before - he wanted to open relate and I didn't. But I
agreed and the whole adventure was extremely hard on both of us. Because the truth is that open
relating is not for everyone and nobody should feel like they're being forced into it. You can
try but trust me, it won't work. Monogamy is an absolutely valid choice if that's what you desire
in your relationship. And if you and your partner can't agree on either monogamy or open relating,
you're probably not compatible together. The process of opening up your relationship,
if that's what you both agreed wholeheartedly to do, needs to start with a lot of communication.
A thing to understand here also is that it's important to differentiate between what you
actually want in life versus what you believe is the right thing to do. A lot of people grow up
with the mindset that monogamy is the only right or proper way to be in a relationship. So they
sort of enter monogamous relationships by default. And that will work for a lot of people but not for
everybody. So it's okay to question things in your life. Is monogamy truly for you? And maybe it is
but maybe it's not. And talking to your partner about open relating from that sort of open mindset
is going to be much more helpful than judging the idea is bad sort of by default. So make sure to
ask each other and explore together why each of you is interested in open relating. What benefits
and what risks do you both foresee in that future. What exactly it means for both of you to open up
your relationship, what exact actions will that involve. Don't go with any assumptions here,
don't try to infer or guess what your partner is thinking. Keep asking until you both have absolute
clarity. And this kind of conversations can go on for weeks, months even, so don't rush things. You
both need to feel ready and certain before any action is taken. And for some couples no action
needs to be taken. Discussing the topic alone creates enough excitement without taking things
further. For others, it will be about taking these ideas and turning them into reality. Just remember
to go slow and to keep checking in with each other every step of the way. Partners typically want to
open up their relationship in order to improve and enrich their connection. So do take a lot of care
not to break your partner's heart in the process. If either one of you feels uncertain,
threatened, hurt, etc., stop, talk and explore together: do we need to stop here for now or do
we simply need a little tweak to make sure that everybody feels included, loved and respected.
I think that it's also very important for anybody interested in open relating to educate themselves
on this topic. There are some great books like "The ethical slut" or "Polysecure" so make sure to
read these ones and more. You can even read them together with your partner as a great introduction
to the world of open relating. Or at least forward this video to them to start the conversation. We
all can always learn more about relating and become even better partner to each other,
whether we decide to open the relationship or not. And if you'd like some other great resources,
make sure to check out my free online course Tantra For Beginners and my book "Legendary
Lover". Both are linked in the description bar below. And if you are enjoying my videos
and getting value from my content, please consider buying me a coffee through my Patreon account.
Patreon is a platform that allows anybody to support us YouTubers with small financial gifts.
You'll also find a link to my Patreon page below. I hope that this was helpful and that it enriches
your understanding of open relating, whether you both decide to go ahead with it or not.
Thank you so much for watching and staying with me till the end. Please don't forget to
leave me a 'Like' and a comment below. I always respond personally and I absolutely love having
little chats with all of you. Have a fantastic day and I'll see you next week on this channel
and if you follow my vlogging channel then I'll see you there even sooner!