- I really don't see the downside to marijuana.
Doctors say (bleep) like well if you smoke marijuana,
it's known to cause you to forget things.
Maybe some of us got some (bleep) we need to forget.
(applause)
I'm actually not a comic,
I was just outside the club chilling.
(audience laughing)
They asked me if I wanted to make five dollars,
and I was like I ain't gotta take my pants off?
And he was like you want this five dollars or what?
I was in the park earlier today where I live at,
(audience laughing)
I was in the park earlier today
and I saw a black squirrel
being chased by two gray squirrels,
and I got anxious.
And I blurted out run nigga.
That's bad right?
Fuck.
Well he got away,
and I was like that's how you do it.
What's that?
What don't I like?
I'll tell you.
(audience laughing)
I don't like walking up behind white women at night.
Makes me really uncomfortable.
So I cross the street.
So I smoke marijuana sometimes a lot every day,
and I'll tell you.
(applause)
I really don't see the downside to marijuana.
Doctors say (bleep) like well if you smoke marijuana,
it's known to cause you to forget things.
Maybe some of us got some (bleep) we need to forget.
Marijuana's also known to increase your appetite.
You mean the munchies?
Ohh.
Like brothers are smoking joints, getting the munchies,
and going out trying to
stick up Keebler elf houses and (bleep).
See a bunch of brothers in the parks harassing trees.
Yo I know you in there little elf man.
Just tell us which tree y'all make the cookies in.
(applause)
Go check them other trees.
- So I'll just get right to it.
I was having sex with my girlfriend doggy style,
and the cat and the dog were watching.
and she was like nuh uh baby stop stop,
I'm like why I gotta stop?
The cat and the dog, they watching.
That's cool, it's like National Geographic for them,
it's all right.
I could have sworn I overheard my dog say to my cat
pss, look at him.
He ain't even doing it right.
- I was walking down into the train station
and there was a white lady in front of me,
and she decides to fall.
Yeah.
And I see it happening and I'm like, don't.
And she's like I don't know what's happening.
And there's this white lady at the bottom of the steps,
I'm at the top of the steps, I know how the picture look.
I got a life choice to make,
so I go back outside.
That joke kills in a black crowd.
I know that's right.
(audience laughing)
I hate the MTA though,
have you been down in the Labyrinth of ew.
You ever read those stupid signs they put up?
We at the MTA are making improvements
so that your ride will be more enjoyable.
Really?
I still smell piss.
Homeless dude taking his dick out.
He's coming this way,
come on man.
(audience laughing)
New Yorkers will be like yeah he from out of town.
(applause) (upbeat music)