-The older we get, the further we get from the truth
and the more we search for answers.
If only we could ask the real experts,
life would go a whole lot smoother.
This is "Little Kids, Big Questions."
Featuring is your host, Ingrid Michaelson
and the Austin Hartley-Leonard Quintet.
-Thank you.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Life and Death.
It doesn't get any more serious than that, right guys?
-No.
-Think of all the questions that we have --
How long will I live?
When will I die?
Do I have a soul?
What does death feel like?
So let's bring out our little experts.
Please welcome our guests for tonight,
Nikki, Emma, and Zachary.
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Band playing ]
-Hi, guys!
-Hello. -Hello.
-Hey. How are you feeling?
-Good. -Good? Okay.
Are you ready to know what our topic is for tonight?
-Yes.
-Okay, our topic is...
[ Drumroll ]
Life and Death. Ughh...
All right. I have a special guest.
Please welcome to the stage my friend, Sarah.
[ Band playing ]
Hi, Sarah! Clap for Sarah.
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Song ends ]
Cool.
Hi, Sarah. How are you doing?
You don't have a mike, so I'll talk for you.
Hi, how are you? -Good.
-She says, she's good everyone.
She's good. Okay.
Sarah is eight and a half months' pregnant.
-[ Gasps ] -Okay. Have you seen --
-I can see that!
-Yeah. Can you stand up for them for a second?
Profile, profile please.
Other profile, to the kids. See it? Okay.
-See it?! Can you see it?
-Yes. -Okay.
Okay you can sit down, sweetheart. Thank you.
Well, what's inside there?
-A baby! -A baby!
-Okay, you all know that. That's awesome.
-How did the baby get in there? Yes.
-God put it in there. -It just poofed into her body.
-It just poofed into her body. What do you think?
-Maybe a bean grew in there. -A bean?
-Or it could be a corn.
-But how does it get out? Yes.
-It comes through your private part,
and you have to force it out to get it out.
-How long do you think it takes?
-Probably about a few minutes.
-Just a few minutes?
-And you know, you're kind of naked,
you're kind of naked when you do it.
-You're kind of naked? Kind of?
-Yeah, you have your pants down.
-Well, like you get the head
out from your private part and you pull it out.
I bet there's a lot of pain.
-Have you had a baby before?
-No. -Oh! Awesome!
That's gonna be fun for her, yeah.
-It's probably gonna hurt.
-Wow, nice tip.
-Do you have any advice for Sarah?
-I think that, um, you should try
eating more liquid things,
so it sort of helps to nourish the baby.
-Liquid things? Like what kind of liquid things?
-Soup. -Just soup,
what about like chocolate milk and like milkshakes and...
-That might be too sweet for the baby
and it's not that healthy either.
Too much sugar. -Uh-huh.
I know, too much sugar. Yes?
-Besides, you can eat stuff that's not -- that's not liquid.
You chew it up
and wait and then it turns to mush.
-And how does the baby get fed? -Well...
-The baby doesn't chew stuff.
-It comes through the neck and it drops to your belly,
and then the baby opens his mouth
and he eats it. -He does?
He doesn't have teeth. -Yeah, he --
-Is that a boy or a girl? -It's mush.
-I think it's a boy. -What do you think?
-Girl. -Girl. -Girl.
-Girl, girl, boy.
Aww, she knows what it is!
-It's a boy. -It's a boy!
-It's a boy, everyone!
[ Cheers and applause ]
-What's the first thing Sarah should teach her baby
after she pushes it out?
Yes?
-How to talk. -How to walk.
-How to potty train. -Potty train?
These are all really good things.
-And they contaminate the house.
-They contaminate the house?
-By your smell. -Ooh!
By their smell? From what?
-When they do their business. -What's their business?
-Poop!
-Aahhh! -Guilty. Guilty.
-Poop!
Secret word of the day. It was my own secret word.
I didn't tell you, so that's why it's a secret.
Kids, say goodbye to Sarah
and thank her for coming out and being our guest.
-Goodbye, Sarah. -Goodbye.
-Good luck having a baby.
[ Applause ]
[ Band playing ]
-!!musiC@! And we are done !!musiC@! [ Song ends ]
-Are you ready for some serious questions?
Okay. How did we get here?
-Well, I think, well, the first person
who was alive was God
and I think there was a girl with him.
-Ooh! -And the girl laid a baby
and I think it was a girl and -- no, it was a boy.
-Do you say she laid a baby?
Like a chicken? -I mean, like, birthed a baby.
-Birthed a baby? Okay. You're smart.
-And then there was another one, birthed a baby,
birthed a baby, until there were seven billion people
on the earth.
-Is that how many people there are in the earth?
-Yes. -I'm not good with numbers.
So who invented babies?
-Uh, I think...
-Yes. -Man?
-Man invented babies.
Okay, yes. -Ladies.
-Men and ladies because without one or the other,
then babies wouldn't be possible.
-What is a soul...
of a shoe? [ Laughs ]
-The sole of a shoe?
-No, what's a soul?
-Your life.
-Cool, that's -- I like that.
-Your attitude. -Your attitude?
Oooh!
That's interesting. What do you think a soul is?
-Your life and attitude.
-Okay. You guys work well together.
Have you, is this is like a panel? Do you do this often?
Do you travel to high schools and like...
-Probably no. -...uplift people?
-Probably no. -Probably no. No. Okay.
-What's the secret word of the day?
-Poop! -Poop! -Poop!
-All right.
Life, death and poop. What more do you need?
"Little Kids Big Questions."
Thank you so much for joining us tonight.
I want to thank our guests Nikki, Emma, and Zachary.
Please give it up for them and thank you for joining us.
See you next time!
[ Band playing ]
[ Cheers and applause ]