Chances are at some point in your life, you’ve watched videos or read books related to self-improvement,
or in other words, self-development, self-help, personal development, you get the idea.
I personally enjoy this type of content, as it has helped me get to where I am today.
However, one of the challenges with providing advice in videos such as these is that I can’t
speak for everybody.
There are always exceptions, context, and different levels to the advice that I give,
or the advice that anyone gives.
I’m not always right all the time.
I’m still learning, and my opinions may change over time.
That’s why I encourage those who are actively consuming self-development content to give
yourself breathing room to try new things, things that your favorite motivational speaker
or guru would not recommend, to see where those ideas go.
There is never a “guaranteed to work” blueprint for success, or a “right way”
to live.
It all depends on the individual, and where that person is in their life.
I might say something, or you might read some advice in a book, but that doesn’t mean
it will be helpful for you specifically.
In these videos I instead try to focus more on encouraging the importance of Self-Love,
and the power of expressing yourself fully, openly, and honestly.
I believe Self-Development fits into that category.
Therefore, I find it to be a positive thing in general.
However, there are exceptions.
There’s a difference between positive Self-Development, and toxic self-development.
The story I am going to be talking about today portrays toxic self-development, and what
happens when one is pushed harder than they can handle.
“The Great Snail Race” is one of those classic SpongeBob episodes.
Most people watching this have seen this episode already so I won’t spend too much time talking
about the plot, but to give a brief synopsis, SpongeBob is kind of a jerk in this one.
Okay, he’s REALLY a jerk.
He enters Gary in a race to prove that his snail is quote-unquote “better” than Squidward’s.
Of course, in order to prepare for the competition, Gary needs a coach, so SpongeBob takes the
responsibility of that role.
Little does he know, Gary doesn’t care about this competition.
He would rather watch his favorite show than participate, but SpongeBob does not allow
him to have any fun.
Which is respectable in the sense that if you want to be successful at something, you
have to sacrifice the short term pleasures, and the distractions, in order to stay focused
on the task at hand.
However, the inability to properly balance free time and self-development can lead to
burnouts.
Though, I don’t want people to use the fear of burnout as an excuse not to push themself.
Don’t underestimate yourself, but also don’t push yourself too hard, or allow others to
push yourself too hard.
Positive self-development is found through motivation.
There needs to be a reason, a “why” to improve in a particular area, otherwise you
are living someone else’s life, and not your own.
In this case, Gary is forced to live SpongeBob’s dream.
The problem with SpongeBob in this episode is he only cares about HIS image, how HE will
look once Gary wins the race.
It becomes less about Gary, and more about bragging rights.
Self-Development is positive when one is not practicing it for validation purposes and
instead to feel better or more loving about themself.
Competition is also positive in the sense that it motivates us to express our greatest
abilities.
The problem is when it starts becoming less about the game, and more about not being good
enough in general.
In this episode, SpongeBob forgets that at the end of the day, it’s literally just
a game.
This leads me to the following question: At what point is one “good enough”?
After all the videos, all the self-help books, and after listening to all the motivational
speakers, when are you finally complete?
When does the journey to becoming better finally end, and you finally get to have fun with
your life?
From my experience, the answer is it goes on forever.
There will always be a pet-peeve, something that that person does not like about themself,
something that needs to be changed, and in my opinion, that’s when Self-Development
becomes toxic.
When it becomes less about Self-Love, and more about Self-Hatred; when life is put on
hold, joy is lost, and all that remains is emptiness, and neediness for something else.
One can drink all the protein shakes, do all the workouts, and take as many cold showers
as they want, but at some point, they have to accept themself for who they are, as they
are, in the present moment.
At some point they have to start living life to the fullest.
If Self-Development is enjoyable to that person, then great, but if it constantly leads to
more suffering then it’s best to stop.
Since SpongeBob doesn’t know when to stop, by the time they get to the race Gary’s
already gassed.
In the middle of the race itself, Gary burns out both physically, and mentally.
Patrick on the other hand, is patient with his pet rock, and doesn’t stress it out,
which would be impossible anyway, but for the sake of this video, let's pretend that
the rock has a mind of its own.
The rock feels comfortable going at it’s own pace, which is why it wins.
This is similar to how I personally function.
I’m someone who likes to work slower than the average person.
What’s helped me become successful over time is going at my own pace, but still being
open to new ideas, or advice from other people.
The belief that you have to put in 120 hour work weeks like Elon Musk, or you have to
sacrifice your teens, your twenties and finally live once you’re 30 is ridiculous.
In conclusion, be careful who you’re getting advice from.
There is a lot of clickbait on the internet that can give you the impression that there’s
something wrong with you, something you need to change about yourself right now, something
you’re not doing right, but chances are, you’re doing just fine.
You probably don’t need to watch the majority of these types of videos.
You might even be happier by not doing so.
This video is a reminder that life is meant to be enjoyable.
However that enjoyment comes depends on the individual, but don’t let anyone tell you
that you’re not good enough as you are.
Thanks for watching.