>>
>> TO
>> TO DO
>> TO DO IF YOU HAD 768 MILLION VACATION DAYS?
VACATION DAYS? AS AMERICANS, THAT IS HOW MANY
DAYS WE HAVE COLLECTIVELY LEFT
ON THE TABLE.
ACCORDING TO LIFE COACH AND HOST
OF LIFE AMPLIFIED PODCASTED AND
MASON, IT IS OFTEN ASSOCIATED
WITH WHAT HE CALLS THE
BEST-DRESSED ADDICTION.
BEST-DRESSED ADDICTION. HERE'S MORE.
HERE'S MORE. I'M EXCITED TO TALK TO ABOUT
THIS, BECAUSE I HAVE ALWAYS
VALUED A STRONG WORTH OF -- WORK
ETHIC.
ETHIC.
ETHIC. WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A
HARD WORKER AND BECOMING A
WORKAHOLIC?
WORKAHOLIC? >> BELIEVE IT OR NOT, IT HAS
NOTHING TO DO WITH NUMBER OF
HOURS WORKED.
HOURS WORKED. THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO CAN PUT IN
50 TO 60 HOURS A WEEK IN THE
OFFICE, BUT THE WORK IS
CONNECTED TO THEIR PURPOSE, SO
THEY ARE LIT UP.
THEY ARE ENERGIZED.
WHEN THEY COME HOME, THEY ARE ON
FIRE.
FIRE.
FIRE. THEY HAVE THE PRESENCE -- THE
ENERGY TO BE PRESENT WITH THEIR
PARTNER IN KIDS.
HAVE THE ENERGY TO SHOW UP FOR
SELF-CARE AND CREED OF PURSUITS.
WORKAHOLICS AREN'T WORKING OUT
OF A PASSION FOR THE WORK, THEY
ARE WORKING TO FEED THE
ADDICTION.
ADDICTION. MAKES OF MANY OTHER PEOPLE WHO
ARE IN AN ADDICTIVE PATTERN,
WHETHER IT IS A COPING MECHANISM
TO RUN AWAY OR NUMB OUT, IT CAN
BE USED AS A DEVICE TO PUSH
INTIMACY AWAY AND TO AVOID
CONFLICT IN OUR PERSONAL
RELATIONSHIPS.
RELATIONSHIPS. THAT IS THE LINE WE WANT TO LOOK
AT BETWEEN WORKAHOLIC AND A HARD
WORKER.
WORKER.
WORKER. HOW DO YOU FEEL?
ARE YOU SLEEPING ENOUGH?
HOW ARE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS?
HOW IS YOUR OVERALL EMOTIONAL
AND PHYSICAL HEALTH?
>> THOSE ARE SOME BIG
DIFFERENCES.
DIFFERENCES. YOU CALLED WORKAHOLICS THE
BEST-DRESSED ADDICTION.
BEST-DRESSED ADDICTION. WE DON'T LOOK AT IT IS LIKE A
BAD THING.
BAD THING. >> IS THE ONLY ADDICTION THAT
COMES WITH SOCIO-AND FINANCIAL
REWARDS.
REWARDS.
REWARDS. IF I SPEND $60 A WEEK ON A DRUG
OR ALCOHOL BENDER, NO ONE IS
GOING TO PAT ME ON THE BACK.
BUT WHEN YOU ARE GLUED TO THE
LAPTOP, IF YOU ARE CHAINED TO
THE CUBICLE, YOU'RE GOING TO GET
THE PRAISE FROM YOUR BOSSES, THE
PRAISE AND ATTENTION FROM YOUR
FAMILY, NOT TO MENTION FINANCIAL
BONUSES MY PROMOTIONS AT WORK,
AND IF YOU DON'T HAVE A STRONG
INTERNAL SENSE OF WHO YOU ARE
AWAY FROM YOUR JOB, THAT CAN
BECOME VERY ADDICTING.
IT IS THE WAY YOU CREATE AN
IDENTITY WHICH WORKS IN THE
SHORT TERM THAT BECOMES
DANGEROUS, ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE
A PERSON WHO GETS LAID OFF FROM
WORK AND YOU LOSE THAT LIFELINE
TO THE ADDICTION.
>> I FEEL LIKE THINGS LIKE THIS
GO DEEPER THAN WHAT YOU ARE
SEEING ON THE SURFACE.
YOU HAVE TIED THIS BACK TO YOUR
CHILDHOOD AND UNMET NEEDS.
>> TWO QUESTIONS WE WANT TO LOOK
AT WOULD DECONSTRUCT AND
WORKAHOLISM -- HOW DID YOU LEARN
TO GET LOVE AS A CHILD AND WHAT
WAS YOUR SENSE OF SAFETY?
HOW MUCH COULD YOU RELY ON YOUR
CAREGIVERS?
CAREGIVERS? THERE ARE MANY PEOPLE -- I GREW
UP IN A HOME WHERE THERE WAS
SUBTLE MESSAGING THAT LOVE IS
CONDITIONAL AND YOU GET IT WHEN
YOU ARE PERFORMING.
WHEN YOU ARE A GOOD STUDENT,
GOOD ATHLETE, IF YOU ARE
EXCELLING IN THE ARTS.
THAT IS THE WAY TO GET THAT
PRAISE.
PRAISE.
PRAISE. WE CAN TAKE THAT WITH US INTO
ADULTHOOD INTO THE WORKPLACE.
THERE ARE PEOPLE TAKING ON THE
WORK OF FIVE EMPLOYEES IS THAT
IS THE ONLY WAY THEY KNOW TO BE
SEEN OR HEARD OR EVEN VALUED IN
THE WORLD.
THE WORLD. THEY WILL KEEP AT IT ON THAT
VALIDATION CYCLE.
VALIDATION CYCLE. CONVERSELY, THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO
GREW UP IN A HOME WITH
EMOTIONALLY DISTANT CAREGIVERS.
THEY CRIED OUT, NOBODY WAS
THERE.
THERE.
THERE. THEY MIGHT HAVE BEEN THE
CHILDREN OF WORKAHOLIC PARENTS.
THE MESSAGING FOR THEM IS I CAN
ONLY RELY ON MYSELF, AND THEY
CAN TAKE THAT TO THE WORKPLACE
WHERE THEY ARE AFRAID TO
DELEGATE, DON'T ASK FOR SUPPORT
BECAUSE ON SOME LEVEL, THEY
DON'T BELIEVE ANYBODY WILL SHOW
UP AND GIVE IT TO THEM.
IT DOESN'T MATTER WHICH PATH
RESONATES MORE FOR YOU, IT IS
TWO SIDES OF THE SAME COIN.
IT WILL ALWAYS LEADS TO OVERWORK
AND BOTH WILL LEAD TO BURNOUT.
>> I WANT TO LEAVE US ON A
POSITIVE NOTE, BUT WE ARE ALMOST
OUT OF TIME.
CAN YOU GIVE US THE THREE QUICK
STEPS TO MAYBE BREAK THE CYCLE?
>> TAKE THE TIME THAT IS GIVEN
TO YOU.
TO YOU.
TO YOU. DON'T BE THE PERSON WHO IS
EATING AT YOUR DESK THROUGH
LUNCH.
LUNCH.
LUNCH. TAKE A LUNCH BREAK.
TAKE YOUR PTO IN VACATION.
WE HAVE LET 768 MILLION VACATION
DAYS GO UNUSED IN 2019 BEFORE
THE PANDEMIC BECAUSE WE ARE
TERRIFIED TO WALK AWAY FROM
WORK, AND A NUMBER THREE,
BECAUSE ALL ADDICTIVE BEHAVIORS
GO DEEPER THAN JUST THE
WORKAHOLISM ITSELF, GET SUPPORT.
FIND AN INFORMED COACH,
THERAPIST, SOMEBODY WHO CAN HELP
YOU UNPACK THIS IN GET TO THE
ROOT OF WHAT IS KEEPING YOU
STUCK.
STUCK.
STUCK. >>
STUCK. >> IT HELPS TO EVEN BE AWARE OF
IT.
IT.
IT. IT
IT. IT IS
IT. IT IS A BIG STEP FORWARD.
THINK YOU FOR SHARING THIS WITH
US.
US.