-Thank you so much for coming back on the show.
I appreciate it. -I'm excited.
I know Brianne and Antonia, right?
I saw, when I drove in, someone wanted to meet them.
And I had to roll the window down
and let them down pretty badly.
[ Laughter ]
She had -- They wanted a picture.
-Oh, someone on the street. -Someone on the street
was hoping it wasn't me in that car.
[ Laughter ]
It was, like, right when I went in, and I just rolled the window
down and I was like -- I said, "I'm sorry."
And then I just rolled it back up.
-They didn't even take picture.
-No.
One of the first times I ever did a late night --
like an old "Conan," a long time ago.
But I remember I pulled up
and they take pictures of people when you walk in.
And so, I pull up in the thing
and all these people walk over to take a picture.
And then they -- I come out
and they were like, "We don't know who this is."
And they all just -- [ Laughter ]
They all walked away. No one even took --
It's all digital cameras. They could just delete the picture.
[ Laughter ] They did not want to waste --
-Hard drive space.
-"I don't want to go through all that.
I don't want to delete it." -That's a lot of business.
-They just go, "Nah, never mind."
-Never mind. We're all good. -Sorry.
-But you're on the road constantly.
-Yes. -And I thank you for stopping in
and doing "The Tonight Show." What's it like?
Is the road the same? Has it changed?
-Yeah, it's the same. It's, you know, a lot of hotels.
Stay in a lot of hotels. Some hotels are great.
Some are, like, fine.
I stayed in one, because no one really works at hotels anymore.
And, like, you go to some of these small towns.
And it's, like, the guy that owns it
works there and that's it.
And so, you're like, "Is the room going to get cleaned?"
And he's like, "No. I mean, it's not --"
[ Laughter ]
-He just right straight-out tells you no.
-Immediate. "No, dude.
We do it every third guest."
[ Laughter ]
I called down. One night, there was a stain on the bed.
And I called and I said, "Hey,
there's a pretty big stain on the bed."
And he goes, "How big is it?"
[ Laughter ]
I was like, "Dude, I'm about to get talked into this stain."
[ Laughter ]
And I was, like, "I don't know, like 70 nickels' worth."
I didn't know how to describe it.
I was like, "If you dropped 70 nickels on the bed, it's that."
And he was like, "It's not that bad, to be honest."
And I was, like, "Alright. Maybe it's the cleanest room.
Maybe it was a thousand nickels before I got here."
-Yeah. 70 nickels is pretty big.
-If you drop 70 nickels, it's a good spot.
-Yeah. "Hello World" is the name of the special.
What's the significance behind that?
-Well, I wanted a nice greeting.
I just wanted to do something that was, like, very warming
and try to be -- The special is very fun.
It's also a nod to Tiger Woods.
-Oh. -When Tiger turned pro
when he was 18, there's a big -- like he said, he goes,
"Well, hello, world," and makes a famous, like, thing.
So it was kind of like it's a mix of --
I'm a big golfer, big Tiger fan. -Yeah.
-And so it kind of worked. I was like, "Oh."
And it's like a little nod to him.
-Yeah. You actually met Tiger Woods.
-I actually got to meet him.
I did a show for the PGA, and he was there.
And I told him. I told him I was naming
this special --
This was a big deal -- This was it.
-Judging by this photo, I'm not sure you did meet Tiger Woods.
-Yeah. [ Laughter ]
-Did you talk to each other? -Yeah.
-Neither one of you are looking at each other.
-Yeah. They grabbed him.
-Is this at the beginning of the conversation or is this
the end when it's awkward silence like,
"Someone get me out of here"? -He didn't know I was there.
I just went there and I stood next to him and just looked
like, "Hey, we're just two buds hanging out."
-You didn't even get that close to him.
-You don't want to touch him. I mean, I don't --
It's Tiger Woods. -It is Tiger Woods.
You want to give him his space.
-I told him within eight words,
I told him I was naming my special after him
saying "hello, world."
It was a lot for him to take in.
[ Laughter ]
-Did he react?
-He was like, "Oh, that's cool." I don't know how to react.
There's no context to any of this.
He doesn't, like -- He doesn't know me,
doesn't know what I've done. I'm just walking up like,
"I'm going to name my comedy special after you."
And he's like, "Alright."
He goes, "I appreciate it, man." I was like, "Yeah."
He talked about you. -He did?
-Yeah. Because he said -- I said I was a comic.
And he loved coming on here and just talked about coming on
the show with his caddie and just told --
and just kept talking.
Enough that I was like, "Alright."
I go, "That's --" I go -- [ Laughter ]
-"I'm not here to talk about Jimmy Fallon."
-I go, "We've all done the show, alright?"
[ Laughter ] -Whatever, Tiger.
Let's get out of there. He's a good dude.
But you do this hour of new material
and already you're working on another new material.
-Yeah. -How do you do it?
You're brilliant. What is the process?
-Yeah, I'm brilliant. -Sorry, I snuck that in there.
-Yeah, I liked it. -I know.
You're a pretty humble guy. You don't like people saying that.
-That's what we wrote down.
I go, "Make sure you say brilliant."
-Yeah, it says here -- [ Laughter ]
-Yeah. You just think of -- I don't know.
You think of dumb stuff.
-What kind of stuff are you thinking of now?
-One, so I thought about the old times.
Because cars now, if you drove a car here,
if you drove a car somewhere, remember you leave your lights
on and someone's like, "Who's got a Honda Accord?
Your lights are on." -Yeah.
-But back in the old days, it was horse and buggies.
So they would park their horses.
And they were like, "Alright, who's got a brown horse?"
And that's everybody.
Everybody's like, "I think we all do."
And then, it's like, your horse is gone.
It's just gone. [ Laughter ]
That would be their lights, is your engine is gone.
And then you got -- They'd be like, "Did you look for it?"
And you got a lantern.
You're like, "We looked as much as a lantern would look.
Like, it was never within six feet of us."
[ Laughter ]
-This is stuff that you're thinking of right now.
-This is the prime stuff
you're going to see out there on the road.
[ Laughter ] I'll tell you what.
-No. Come on. -These are the hits.
-Last time, you said you're going to cut down on sugar
and get into healthy -- You look fantastic.
-Thank you. It's gotten better.
I still have just meltdowns
where I'll still go to McDonald's.
Went through a McDonald's, and I had to open my door one time
because my window was broke. That was pretty sad.
[ Laughter ] That's sad for me and them.
It's like me and the McDonald's worker are all just like,
"What are we doing with our --" They shouldn't see
your whole body in a drive-through window.
They shouldn't -- Like, you just have to open it.
And you're like -- And you just take all the --
They see your shoes. And you're like --
You're like, "I don't know, dude.
I should've just not done it."
The one day my window doesn't --
My window goes down every day on Earth of my life.
And the one day it doesn't, I'm like,
"I'll probably do a drive-through today."
[ Laughter ]
-You're a glutton for punishment, man.
That's terrible. -It's brutal.
-That's terrible. -But I have gotten better.
I'm 43.
43, you still think you're young.
You know, like, I'll hang out like a 23-year-old.
And I'm like, "You get it, dude.
We're just a couple young dudes kicking it."
[ Laughter ]
And some guy will be like, "I'm 45."
I'm like, "Beat it, old man!"
[ Laughter ]
"I can't believe that guy had the nerve to hang out.
You know? Let's go sit down a little bit."
[ Laughter ]
I went and got a physical recently.
And after your 40s, I'll tell you --
Before 40, you go through, like, a drive-through window.
They're just, like, you move your neck, and they're like,
"Come on, man, you're wasting everybody's time, alright.
Go live a life." And then you pass 40,
and the doctor's like, "You mind shutting that door behind you?"
[ Laughter ]
He's like, "I'd lock it. We're about to get after it."
[ Laughter ]
And it was the first time I've ever been talked to old.
And so, it was just me and him.
And he goes, "Do you pee a lot at night?"
[ Laughter ]
And I was like, "Did my dad just walk in the room?"
Like, how old -- I never peed at night in my life.
I was like, "How about that?
I don't pee till the sun goes down."
[ Laughter ]
But I was like, "Just so I know, what is a lot?
What is a big amount?"
And I tell you what.
He's ruined me. I only pee at night now.
[ Laughter ]
I would love to pee during the day.
My body's like, "Enjoy the day.
We'll get it out tonight. Don't worry about it. Have fun."
[ Laughter ] -Nate Bargatze, everybody.
His new special "Nate Bargatze: Hello World"
comes to Prime Video one week from today.
Congratulations.
We'll be right back with more "Tonight Show."
Nate Bargatze, come on!