If for some reason, I lost my memory-
Oh, kill me.
What's the first thing you'd
tell me about us?
I would be like, Hey, I’m your life partner,
we've been together for 18 years.
We probably have had many lives together,
but this is one we have right now.
So you just need to know
that I'm really important,
but so are you.
And I would say that, like,
we have the best time.
We laugh all the time.
We argue.
We laugh every day.
I laugh every day.
Oh, what do you think
I'm hesitant to tell you?
I think you're probably hesitant
to tell me if you disagree
with me about something
like something I've done
because you don't want to make me mad.
I hope
and I think that it's gotten a lot better
as we've gotten older.
But I feel like
you used to get upset
or worried
about upsetting me or about offending me.
Oh, yeah, definitely.
So, like when you were going
and meeting
those people
of like some parts of it,
you didn't tell me until later
because you were worried.
I hate thinking
that you were worried about me
judging you,
but I think it was just part of
growing up.
Yeah. It's more like the disappointment.
Yeah.
Yeah,
and some things were hard to communicate.
You know, even. Even now. Shit.
I have to think twice about- Oh, sorry.
Oh, we can curse. - We’re allowed, yeah.
I had to think twice
about what I say or how I say it
more or less.
You know.
You worry a lot about how you say things.
Well,
I never want to be the angry black lady,
which I talked to you years about that.
I know
sometimes you'll send me a text
and you're like, Does this sound mean?
Yeah. - I have to like proof read it.
Yeah. Which is. That's hard.
I don't always struggle with that.
Thanks for helping me with that, by the way.
Jeez, glad you went to
psychology courses.
How have I changed since we first met
and how do you feel about it?
How have you changed?
I think
you're learning to love more
to like people.
Like not to say that
you didn't love people before.
Or you never did. It was like
you really show love a lot more now.
It's lovely
because I see that
it also makes you happy.
Yeah. - Showing that love to people.
Yeah.
Because I feel like it was hard for you
for a while.
Like to, like,
show that or even accept love sometimes.
Yeah, I think I’ve like,
spent a lot of time for some reason, just
trying to, like,
protect my heart.
I know, but like-
Like seeing you now.
Like
seeing you, like, accept love,
especially this year,
and also giving it
to many people and certain people like.
I see how much that's, like, made
you grow and made you happy.
And, like,
that's all I ever wanted for you
is just for you to, like, have that love.
That’s all I ever wanted.
That's why I'm, like,
so protective of you.
Because like- - I know.
I know you deserve, like, so much love.
I know.
When do you worry about me the most?
Why then?
I think I worry about you most
when you
hit very low points. - Fuck.
I think
it scares me so much because
I've experienced
depression
as a lot of us, as a lot of people have.
And I think I see the signs of
what it can do to somebody.
Your lows to me
make me feel like I'm in lows.
I know.
But truly, like,
because I feel as connected as we are
if you're going through it
then I'm going through it.
I completely agree with you
because when I hit my lows
and I know this for myself
and it's just something
that I try to work on,
that's when the, like, the barriers
go up. - Yeah.
I might
be in the darkest place
ever.
And you're not going to know.
Yeah.
And that point
when you're in your darkest, or
I'm in my darkest.
That's when it's most hurtful to be
not communicative.
Yeah.
Like you said,
when my thoughts aren't as kind to me
and when I'm feeling really, really low,
it's very coincidental
that you will always text me
whenever I'm going through that,
rather you know it or not,
no matter what you're sending,
no matter what meme
you're sending me,
no matter what text or song or anything,
and you just always end up following it.
Like it's just so- it's so coincidental.
That's actually kind of scary,
but like, it's so weird.
Like, you'll either
call me or you're like, you'll text me.
Like, while I'm in this dark place.
Why do you love me?
I do love you.
Oh, I don't know.
You're just like the-
This is going to sound
very like fanatic,
but you kind of just like the perfect
human, like, you just.
You're so good in every way
because you're so funny.
And we have, like, the exact same,
like, sense of humor.
And, like,
sometimes I'll find myself
talking to someone at school
about, like, a book
I read, and I'll be like,
freaking out over
one of the characters and they’ll be like,
Oh, yeah, okay.
And then I'm like,
Oh, darn, maybe that wasn't
maybe that was something weird to say.
And then I go to you and I'm like,
So this character is really cool.
And you’re like: Yes. Yes, I know, right?
And I
feel like we just have
such similar interests and like,
I can't describe you because you're so
the closest
I could come to is, like,
bold and, like, excited about everything.
You just
everything you do,
you bring this, like, excitement to it
and you're like, oh, yes.
Like, I'm so happy to be doing this.
So I’m gonna put like my own twist on it.
And like,
I mean, maybe it's not the best time,
but you keep making me laugh,
even though I'm supposed to be
sentimental right now, and
I feel like I'm
not answering this question well enough,
because if I try to describe you,
I can't.
But it's just
you're just -you're you, you're Emmett.
And I love you.
Thank you.
What's the pain in me
you wish you could heal? - Oh.
Oh, fuck
You don’t have to answer it.
I wish...
You- you don’t have to do it.
I mean, what I said before.
Yeah.
I wish you could see how beautiful
of a person that you really are.
I knew I was gonna sob on camera today.
How much?
I guess I like everything.
Because, like your friendship to me.
Like when I think about,
like if I called you at like
two in the morning
and I was like, I need you,
you would literally drop everything
and be there. - It's happened
And it’s happened.
And it
just sucks to see like this
the spiral and the cycle
that you go through
and you are so amazing and it's like,
Yeah, it just sucks that you don't
always see that.
What was the greatest test
of our friendship
and what did we learn from it?
Um, for me
it was being rang
in the middle of the night
or you rang me
in the middle of the night.
That was a test.
And you were traveling and in need.
And actually the test for me
was how far
I’d be willing to go
to get help for you, really.
So that was
and I was willing to do anything.
Yeah.
You know, I kind of I'm
a connector, you know.
And I was thinking, okay,
who do I know here, or who do I know there?
But I would also
was willing to stay on the phone
for just to get you onto the plane
to the next place, you know?
So that.
That was a taste, really. - Mm hmm.
Yeah.
Of a sort.
Well, um.
Wow.
This one honestly makes me really sad.
I love being sad.
I can't wait.
How would our lives
be different if we never met?
Hmm.
Yeah, that's sad.
Well, why was- I'm, like, going to cry.
Yeah. I mean, there is no life.
I haven't had a life without you.
So it's.
So like that
doesn't really seem
like a tangible question.
That was fast.
I mean...
I feel I sound like wicked right
now, but, like, I feel like I wouldn't.
I just, like, wouldn't
be the same at all. - Right.
I mean, we're the same person.
We’re the same person.
So I would just have to be someone else.
But I don't know who.
There’s no way for me to know who. - Right.
I see a world where
we're like in a home together
and we're like: I think we should die today.
And then we just kind of figure it out.
Or it would be like a coincidental thing
where, like,
it was just like
we died at the same time
and everybody would be like. Right. - Laughing.
Either laughing or it would be like,
say, we're in different parts
of the world.
And like they found out later
that we died at the exact same minute.
Everybody would be like: right. - Right.
Right. - Like, Oh, that makes sense.