I’ve played poor games.
I’ve played good games.
But there are certain games that go beyond that metric and can only be described as “TROUBLE.”
(15 points.)
Quarrel takes two things that I’m not too terribly enthusiastic about, and melds them
together into a dangerous combination of military tactical acumen and combinatorial linguistic
challenge.
I’ve never been too big on Scrabble or Words with Friends or whatever the kids are calling
it these days, and I’ve always found Risk to be too random in its execution, what with
dice rolling everywhere.
But Quarrel melds these two into a word game where strategic movement gives you an advantage
(TJ like) and success in combat is based entirely upon your own ability to recognize and quickly
decide upon a course of action (TJ like even more).
Two near-misses for me have somehow blended into an EPOXY (20 points) that threatens my
free time (and my non-free time, for that matter) with excessive force.
Quarrel makes its way to the XBox Live Arcade following its success on iOS devices, and
has expanded to support your avatar’s dancing and pouting as you compete in two-to-four-player
skirmishes across vaguely tropical linguistic batttlefields.
You command a force of letter-carrying troops, which may be soldiers, pirates, robots, ninja,
the list goes on.
By challenging an adjacent territory, you compete in a SHOWDOWN (21 points) of linguistic
wit, wherein you attempt to make the highest-scoring word from a pool of eight letters.
However, you can only form a word as long as the number of troops you have in the SKIRMISH
(20 points), making strategic deployment a key element of victory.
And even if you’re not involved in a particular conflict, you can still try your hand at constructing
that rounds word, just for practice and a bit of bonus cash.
Each word you create brings you treasure and the spoils of war, each territory you overtake
brings more funds, each conquest with a “rampaging” SQUADRON (27 points) - that is, one thrice-victorious
this turn - brings more funds, and routing an opponent gives you their entire bank.
These treasures are used to reinforce your numbers at the beginning of a conflict, allowing
you greater chance for SURVIVAL (21 points).
Game modes include Quick Matches, which challenge you according to your “Word IQ,” a single-player
CAMPAIGN (20 points) mode against a progression of opponents, or for the truly pompous out
there, flesh-and-blood foes via XBox Live.
Unfortunately, since your verbal selection is meant to be secret until the moment of
the big reveal, there’s no local multiplayer.
You’ll have to prove the dominance of your lexicon in some other form.
My only real grievance with the game is that the soundtrack can get obnoxious at times.
It lays very heavily on a PIERCING (15 points) jazz trumpet, like someone’s in the back
strangling Al Hirt.
Aside from that, the sound effects of your jovial troops are refreshing and adorable...
at least, when you’re winning.
CURSE YOU, SNOOP DOGG IMPOSTOR (16 POINTS), AND YOUR BAND OF HYPERLITERATE SCOTSMEN!
Quarrel is a dangerous little diversion.
If you’re looking for a tactical brainbuster that relies on your own quick thinking, you’ve
come to the right place.
If you’re looking for an ENGAGING (17 points) single-player experience that will improve
your performance at Words With Frends as a byproduct, you’ve come to the right place.
But be warned: You run the risk of addiction, which may manifest in long, sleepless hours
of linguistic domination, dreams haunted by Aborigines bearing letters, and - in extreme
cases - analysis of your every utterance in terms of letter score.
I may have already fallen victim to at least two of those SYMPTOMS. (22 points.)