Hey girls! Tiffany Dawn here, and today I'm in this adorable B&B where my
husband and I are staying out on Seneca Lake in upstate New York. And he's
actually running a 77-mile race right now with my mother! I mean they're not
running 77 miles each, but they have a team of seven people and each person is running
11 miles. It's a relay race around the whole lake. I did not go because it meant
being there at 6:30 in the morning and I'm pregnant, so that's not happening. So
yeah. But today I wanted to talk to you about a question that has been written
in several times and it is: How do I get over a crush, when I've been like liking
him for a while, and the feelings are not going away? And I have definitely
experienced that. There was one guy that I liked for - I don't know - on and off for
like 10 years! And that was a very long crush. And we were just friends and
sometimes we would go to like almost more than that, and then would go back,
and it was confusing, blah blah, but um, it was kind of hard to get over that. And
so I'm just gonna share a few thoughts with you. So my first tip for getting
over a crush is this: You have to think about something else. So what I've found
is that the more you focus on not wanting to be with that guy,
or on wanting to get over your crush, the more you're just focusing on that
guy still. So it's like, "Oh he'd be a terrible fit for me," like call my friends
in, let's like Facebook stalk him and look at like his new girlfriend and say how
she's just not that great for him and he was just not a great guy and focus on
being over him. And all that time, the common denominator, the thing that you're
still thinking about, is that guy. And so it kind of backfires. And it makes it
harder to get over him if you're just thinking about getting over him, and why
you should be over him all the time. So find something totally different that
has nothing to do with him and think about that. And that could be, some hobby
you get involved with, like serving somewhere, it could be I don't know just
something you're passionate about, but just find something else, a different
place for your thoughts to go. And that reminds me of number two, which is, when
you're always kind of fantasizing about, "Could this work, could this not?" Like trying
to read into every little thing he says or does - that's also gonna keep you stuck
in the crush. And so if you can kind of like just try to pull yourself out of
that a little bit. I remember over and over
throughout my life I would try to figure things out and I felt like God would
keep saying to me like, "Tiff, just let me surprise you. Like stop trying to figure
it out and just let me surprise you." And I think that that attitude is really
helpful if you're trying to get over a crush. Just kind of not trying to read
into everything not going over everything he said and did with your
best friends, like, "What did this mean when he said this?" - which is fun, but if
you want to get over him, that's not gonna help. Tip number three is just kind
of, give yourself some time. I think it's good to just kind of like be aware of it,
like the crush is there, but not like worry too much about it. Because again,
putting more pressure on yourself to like get over him and move on already, just kind
of keeps you stuck in the crush. And so if you can kind of just like be aware
like, "Oh, ha, still have a crush on this guy. That's funny. Cool. Moving on with my day."
I think that's a better way to approach it. Rather than, "I gotta get over this guy,
I gotta get over this guy." Because that just kind of keeps you like more and more
deeply entrenched in thinking about him, but if you can just kind of like let it
go, "Oh cool okay I'm still have a crush. It's not a big deal; it's fine." I think that's
a better way to approach it and like puts less pressure on yourself too. And I
do think that sometimes there are crushes that are like lingering in a
sense, or like people that we keep thinking, "Oh I wonder if I like let him
get away? I wonder what would have happened if we dated?" And I think in my
life and in some of my friends' lives, those thoughts can come and go for years
until we meet somebody that we're like, "Oh this is who I really want to be
with!" And then it kind of all makes sense. And I'm like - I know with the guy I had a
crush on for like ten years, it would like come and go for years, and I'd
like think I was over him, and then it'd come back again. And it wasn't until I
met James that I was like, "Oh my gosh, this is who God has for me! And this is
like the perfect fit for me!" I don't know, that kind of like finished the crush off.
I was just like, "Oh! Why would I want to be with another guy? Like James is
amazing!" And so I think that's happened to me and some of my friends, where it's like,
it comes and goes, lingering, until you meet somebody who's just awesome and
amazing and perfect for you. Those are my three top tips for getting over a crush.
I would love to hear what else has worked for you girls!
And I love you girls and I will see you again very soon. Bye!