I really love poker I mean I really love
poker when I lived in New York
aces spend time on the train going to
and from work playing Texas Hold'em on
my phone and when I lived in Silicon
Valley I would get off work on Tuesday
nights and leave and go to my friends
job to play poker there so imagine my
excitement when I found out that my
co-workers hosted a poker game at my job
I was ecstatic
I could play poker from the comfort of
my very own workplace I made
arrangements to attend the poker game
and when poker day rolled around it was
poker day in my head it was all I could
think about at 5:30 when everybody else
was heading home for the day I was
heading to a conference room and as I
approached that conference room I could
hear the sounds of laughter and
conversation and a general buzz and when
I walked into the conference room the
conversation ceased and the only buzz
was from the fluorescent lights overhead
the conversation never recovered and
neither did I we've all been in those
kind of moments we're trying to figure
out what just happened really not
expecting me did they not want me here
did they think I shouldn't be here they
think I wasn't good enough to be here
having those questions swirling around
in your head can be an instant stressor
for anyone and it definitely was for me
I went from being very excited about
playing the game I loved with my
co-workers to being immediately on guard
and feeling like the other I didn't stay
at that poker game because at that point
my anxiety was through the roof the idea
of playing my best game in that
situation was laughable I could have
been the best poker player in that room
I could have raised the level of the
game for everybody in attendance I
probably would have but they never would
have known that because having to
overcome the Gulf of anxiety
that separated me and my would-be
competitors would have made it
impossible for me to give my peak
performance and that was just a low
stakes poker game that I could leave
anytime imagine that being the feeling
you had in your work day it's not
something that I have to imagine it's
something that people from
underrepresented groups feel every
single day most of us come to work with
a general set of questions and concerns
how do I make an impact will I achieve
my goals today but people from
underrepresented groups have a different
set of questions am i being paid fairly
how do I avoid sexual harassment how do
I avoid falling into stereotypes can I
be myself today it's a lot to deal with
carrying all those concerns forces us to
survive instead of making it possible
for us to thrive I have survived in the
tech industry for nearly two decades I
started my career just like everyone
else really excited to be here just
ready to do my job no cares in the world
no worries and over time those worries
built up from being the only black woman
the only black person in an office
building full of hundreds to being
inappropriately touched by my co-workers
to being constantly constantly
underestimated as the list went on and
grew and grew my anxiety ratcheted up
and ratcheted up a little bit more and a
little bit more until coming to work
every day was like walking into that
conference room on poker night I
couldn't get my peak performance at work
because my anxiety levels were so high
my
story is not unique I shared it in 2014
when I had had enough and many people
from many various underrepresented
groups reached out to me to say me too
that they had experienced some if not
all of the same things that I had
experienced and I was equally relieved
to learn that I wasn't the only one but
also horrified to learn that so many
people were experiencing the same issues
how could they how could I achieve and
get ahead and the under those conditions
we couldn't we can't unless we choose to
live in a fictional world these are the
realities of our real world we have two
jobs our first job is to overcome the
stresses and anxieties of being the
other just so we can get to our second
job the job were paid for taking care of
the first job takes a lot of mental
energy so when I have to explain to my
co-workers that no black people don't
have lower IQs and no we aren't
naturally predisposed to violence that
takes away the mental energy for me
doing my job and when I have to wonder
why my boss and his boss are being
overtly hostile to me that takes away
from me doing my job and when I have to
explain that no I am NOT my teammates
assistant that no I am NOT the security
guard that no I am NOT the cleaning
staff the stress and anxiety I feel from
having to explain that not only to my
peers to my but to my superiors makes it
difficult for me to do my job being a
software engineer which is all I wanted
to do and all I've ever wanted to do
since I started coding at the age of 10
years old
now that I'm a manager I know that is
super important for me to make
environments for my team to succeed I
know that I have to build
psychologically safe environments so
that my team's can achieve their goals
because if they do not have those
environments I know that it's possible
they won't meet their expectations
because I haven't met theirs but that
doesn't have to be the case for my team
or yours we can build environments that
are psychologically safe that allow
people on our teams to be successful and
to thrive we can make this change I can
make this change but I can't do it alone
I need your help
often times we're told that emotions
have no place in the workplace that
feelings are not meant for business but
sometimes that isn't the case and it
doesn't serve us well so I'm gonna ask
you to do a little something different
today I'm gonna ask you to feel and I'm
gonna ask you to hold on to that feeling
are you ready okay remember the poker
game I want you to think of your poker
game I want you to think of that time in
your life when you are the only when you
or the other when you were the outcast
in the room and I want you to think of
how that made you feel of that pit of
anxiety this deep in your stomach and
how hard it was to navigate that
situation and then I want you to think
about the fact that many of your
co-workers feel like that every single
day many of your employees many of your
teammates come to work feeling that
anxiety it's too much we can change that
we can build environments where our
co-workers don't have to feel that way
it's very important we do that and I'll
tell you why
in 2007 I had a manager named Suzanne
and Suzanne did something that no
manager up and to that point and until
recently no manager since had ever done
Suzanne made it clear that she saw me
she saw that I was an untapped talent
and then she made it possible for me to
use that talent she assigned me a very
large project one that was honestly
above my level and pushed me to work
outside of my normal abilities and then
she trusted me to get it done and there
there was no question about my
competence no worries about whether I
could succeed she just let me do it and
in that moment I don't remember exactly
what word she said but I know exactly
how it felt finally up until that point
I had been doubted and underestimated by
everyone all my managers and finally
someone trusted me someone believed in
me and and it took away all the anxiety
I felt about not being valued about
being the other and I performed the best
job I've ever performed in my career and
I got promoted because of it
you can empower the people in your
companies in your teams to perform their
best as well all it takes is a little
understanding and some action to remove
but the overhead of being other for
those folks like people in your company
might be worried that they're not paid
fairly publish your salary bands to
remove that worry people might have a
fear of reporting sexual harassment make
processes that remove the possibility of
retaliation and retribution for
reporting sexual harassment we can build
companies we can build environments that
are safe for everyone
anyone at any level can make people feel
safe you don't have to be a manager to
do this underrepresented people often
feel like we're the ones who have to
solve the problems that are causing us
pain that we're the ones who have to
speak up
even though we know that we'll be
penalized for it you can take away these
issues by speaking up for us when you
see something happening be the one to
say something you can prove in those
moments that you are not only an ally
which you're an advocate and an
accomplice if we are empathetic in our
understanding of the anxiety gap that
underrepresented minorities face in the
workplace everyday we can build
environments that are psychologically
safe and that removes stress so that our
co-workers our teammates can come in
every day and be happy and be productive
and thrive and then they can go play
poker thank you
[Applause]