- People taking your mail, that's not okay.
That's something we gotta confront as a society.
(whimsical folk music)
- I cry every time I watch Harry Potter,
so we'll see if this does it for me.
- A lot of chiseled white people falling in love.
- Gosling's got balls, she's into it.
Whoa, this dude's creepy!
- Say it.
- I wanna go out with you!
- That is psychotic.
If someone did that in real life,
I would just assume that there were like
body parts in his freezer.
- This guy's always pulling stunts, isn't he?
What'd you do on your date tonight, sweetheart?
Oh, laid in the road.
- [Man in blue shirt] Be careful, you'll cut yourself
on his chiseled jaw line.
- Now people say stuff like, "Call me daddy."
They used to say stuff like, "Say I'm a bird."
- [Man in blue shirt] Look at that mustache!
- I work at the lumberyard.
- You don't ask somebody how much money they make.
He's gonna show her his Gosling.
- Did you just hear that?
- [Man in white shirt] What?
- He said, "I love you."
- I love you, too.
(men exclaiming approval and excitement)
- She said she loved him.
- Trash, not for you.
(men exclaiming in disgust and feigned surprise)
- [Man in blue shirt] Class war, class war.
- Oh, class war.
(Alli grunting)
- Oh, she broke that.
(all groaning in sympathy)
- Damn you, Marsden, damn you
and your perfect jawline and your dreamy eyes!
- [Man in green shirt] Oh don't kiss him.
- [Man in white shirt] No, no, no.
- Why?
- Okay, she has salon-quality hair after being (bleep).
- Paint naked.
- [Man in plaid shirt] God.
(all exclaiming with titillation)
(whooping)
- She's gonna take her down to the lumber mill,
and show her how the other half lives.
At any point in time, she could have been like,
here you go, and she didn't, every single day for a year.
- I'm just saying a handwritten letter isn't creepy,
because I've done it, and I'm hoping it's not creepy.
- Stop thinking about what I want,
what he wants, what your parents want.
What do you want?
- What does she want? - What does she want?
- God, this was like, amazingly depressing.
- I can see why everyone in 2004
was really hyped-up on The Notebook.
- Pick a lumberyard boy.
- It was so sad.
- The quality spirit comes from lumberyard boys,
is I guess is what I'm trying to say.
- Love isn't actually like this,
but we want it to be.
- [Man in green shirt] That's not true!
You watch this movie and you think of that special someone,
try to be half as good as half those guys, you know?
- Little bit of a Ryan Gosling fan,
little bit of a Drive fan, decided to watch the Notebook.
Wondering if he shoots anybody in this.
It looks like he's gonna shot some people.