From the beginning of this crisis,
Donald Trump has been saying a lot of not-smart things.
He said the coronavirus will disappear like a miracle.
He said people had nothing to lose
by experimenting with hydroxychloroquine.
And he even said
that the virus can't see you if you don't move.
I think he was confusing it with Jurassic Park.
But a few days ago, as you've probably heard by now,
President Trump created shock waves of stupidity
with his latest, and probably greatest,
unlicensed medical opinion yet.
MAN: President Trump offering new, but unproven suggestions
of how to kill Covid-19 in patients,
using UV rays and injecting disinfectants,
such as bleach and alcohol.
Supposing we hit the body with a tremendous, uh...
whether its ultraviolet or just very powerful light.
And I think you said that hasn't been checked,
but you're gonna test it.
And then I said, supposing you brought the light
inside the body, which you can do,
either through the skin or....
uh, in some other way.
And I think you said you're gonna test that, too.
Sounds interesting.
And then I see the disinfectant,
where it knocks it out in a minute, one minute,
and is there a way we can do something like that,
uh, by injection,
inside or... or...
almost a cleaning.
So that you're gonna have to use medical doctors.
But it sounds... it sounds interesting to me.
This is maybe the first time in documented history
that we've seen someone not thinking out loud.
Injecting disinfectant into your body?
This is the problem when the dumbest person in the room
thinks they're the smartest person.
You know? Trump is like Neville Longbottom
but with Hermione's confidence.
And-and I almost don't even blame Trump,
because there's no way he even understands what bleach is.
Like, do you think Donald Trump
has ever cleaned anything in his life?
Do you think he's ever actually used disinfectant?
Cleaning supplies might as well be magical potions to him.
I dropped a hamburger on the carpet.
Then some Mexican lady came in with some Clorox,
sprayed it on the carpet,
said some spell in Spanish,
and then it was gone.
Now, as crazy as the disinfectant line was,
I don't think we should be so quick
to dismiss Trump's UV light idea.
Because Trump spends most of his time
under UV light,
and other than looking like hickory-smoked bacon,
he's the healthiest man in the world.
I mean, he's even outlived Kim Jong-un,
a man half his age.
Prove me wrong, Kim!
If you're still alive, follow me back on Twitter.
Now, if you're some random guy on the Internet
with 12 followers, you can say shit like this,
and it really doesn't matter.
You can say whatever you want about coronavirus.
But Donald Trump is not just some random guy.
Donald Trump was the star of Celebrity Apprentice.
People listen to what he says.
So his suggestion about injecting people
with a disinfectant has had a massive fallout.
NEWSMAN: The suggestion of ingesting disinfectant,
something that would be dangerous and even deadly,
has sparked a backlash.
Lysol's parent company issued a statement saying...
We have heard from emergency management
in various states that they have had a remarkable uptick
in the number of calls, mostly, thankfully,
from people who were just calling to see
whether it's true, whether they should consume or ingest,
uh, disinfectants.
We had hundreds of calls, uh, in our...
in our hotline here in Maryland
about people asking about injecting or ingesting,
uh, these, uh, these, uh, disinfectants.
Which is, uh, you know, hard to imagine
that people thought that that was serious, but...
but people actually were thinking about this,
was this something you could do to protect yourself.
Yep. This is where we are now.
Authorities have to respond to the president's ideas
the same way they do to viral TikTok challenges.
And... honestly, I love that people were actually calling...
calling their local health departments
to ask if they should try to cure themselves
with disinfectant.
Because that means that even the people
who are dumb enough to drink bleach
are still smart enough
not to trust something Donald Trump said.
I mean, I was gonna do it, but now that he said it,
I'm not so sure.
Now, as always, when Trump says something insane
about the coronavirus, it puts his team of doctors
in a tight spot.
Because they have to try and correct him...
without embarrassing him.
And no one tries harder than Dr. Birx.
You didn't believe the president was putting anybody in danger,
-did you? -No, when he gets new information,
he likes to talk that through out loud,
um, and really have that dialogue,
and so that's what dialogue he was ha... having.
I think he just saw the information at the time,
immediately before the press conference,
and he was still digesting that information.
Bravo, Dr. Birx.
Bravo.
It is a great defense to not use the word "dumb,"
but just describe what being dumb is
to describe Trump.
She's like, "No, of course the president is not a stupid man.
"He's just a man who thinks that night happens
when God turns the sun off."
Now, while Dr. Birx was trying to soften the blow,
most of Trump's defenders, they were doubling down.
Oh, you liberals missed the point.
Trump is thinking outside the box.
This is actually a genius idea, when you think about it.
But-- this was priceless--
after Trump supporters spent the entire day defending him,
the president went back on TV
to make his fans look like idiots, too.
No, I was asking a question sarcastically
to reporters like you, just to see what would happen.
Now, disinfectant,
where doing this, maybe on the hands, would work.
And I was asking the question of the gentleman
who was there yesterday, Bill.
But I was asking a sarcastic, and a very sarcastic question,
to the reporters in the room
about disinfectant on the inside.
But it does kill it, and it would kill it on the hands,
and that would make things much better.
That was done in the form of a sarcastic question
to the reporters.
Okay, come on.
We all saw Trump's presser,
and we all know it wasn't sarcasm.
Sarcasm is when you make fun of something
by saying the opposite of what you mean.
You can't just use that as an excuse for when you messed up.
My final answer is B.
(imitates buzzer) I'm sorry, that's wrong.
I was just being sarcastic.
I can't believe you thought that that was my final answer,
like, of all time. Wow.
I'm gonna go with C.
(imitates buzzer)
Actually, sarcasm again.
Let's try A, and if not, sarcasm means D.
And my favorite part of that excuse
was how Trump tried to have it both ways at the same time.
Because he says, he says his suggestion was sarcastic,
but then he immediately goes on to explain
why it also makes sense.
Trump suggests injecting bleach
the way other people try and float a threesome.
Obviously, I'm joking, babe.
I, like, don't want a threesome with Johnny.
I was just-- like, unless he's into it.
But, like, no. It was just a joke.
Come on. You're all I need.
And Johnny. Just joking.
So, now we've learned something new from Donald Trump.
While the nation is tuning into these briefings
for accurate information,
Trump is just testing out his newest comedy material
and pulling everyone's leg.
Supposing we hit the body with a tremendous, uh...
whether it's ultraviolet or just very powerful light.
(laughter)
Then I said, supposing you brought the light
inside the body, which you can do,
either through the skin or, uh, in some other way.
(laughter)
And then I see the disinfectant,
where it knocks it out in a minute, one minute,
and is there a way we can do something like that,
uh, by injection,
inside or... or almost a cleaning,
'cause you see it gets in the lungs,
and it does a tremendous number on the lungs,
so it'd be interesting to check on.
(laughter)
The one upside of this whole debacle
is that Donald Trump has given Americans the perfect excuse,
the perfect excuse for electing him.
Because when all of this is over,
and other countries are asking Americans,
"How the hell did you elect Donald Trump?"
Americans can be like, "No, dude, dude...
we were just being sarcastic."
Well, that's our show for tonight. But before we go,
the COVID pandemic has devastated communities
around the world.
But the International Medical Corps
is helping those communities rebuild and recover.
So if you are able to help in any way
and you want to join their global outreach,
please, donate whatever you can.
And if you'd like to support the response specifically
in New York City, where we're so hard-hit,
please donate to the NYC Healthcare Heroes,
who are providing care packages to our health care workers,
hospitals, and temporary medical facilities.
Until tomorrow though, stay safe out there,
wash your hands, and, remember,
any food can be pudding if you wait long enough.