I have a tendency to not speak up in conversations when I feel uncomfortable.
Like, sometimes I'll be talking to someone and they'll say something that's just a little... off.
"Oh my god, you know what I wish we could do?
I wish we could just kill off all the homeless people."
"Right? Like that would be the best solution for them. It's like, they don't have homes. Nobody's gonna miss them!"
Or inappropriate.
"It's just like so hard being a straight white dude these days, man. You're so lucky you're a minority.
Like, you'd stand out."
Or sometimes, just pretty stupid.
"I don't want to break up, I just want to
like move out, but like we can still go
on dates, it's just that like, I don't want to have to
devote every night to you. It's basically like,
like I want my cake, and I want to eat it too,
and then I want to take a piece home and then
put it in the freezer for later so I can bust it out and put like
chocolate fudge and strawberries and some skittles on there, and then
have it with a glass of wine while I like
binge a new series." But lately, I feel like I have
no fucks left at all, like normally when you
have a fuck to give, you distribute that.
Right? Like you care about what people
think, and you try to act accordingly.
I think I'm all out. Exhibit A, the other day, at a bar,
this guy said, "Oh, excuse me doll."
Without even missing a beat, I immediately responded:
"Oh, no worries doll."
Yeah, normally, would never do that.
I didn't even think about it, I didn't even
blink. Exhibit B, at lunch,
my friend said, "Dude, I fucking hate that
bitch." Oh no. Normally, I would let
that pass because it's awkward, I don't want to address it.
But since I have no fucks left...
"Dude, you are so harsh on women."
"Yeah, well whatever. She cheated on me."
"So? You cheated on her too!
And it was like four years ago!"
Let it go, man.
And don't get me wrong, I'm not
saying that I just want to like speak my mind
with no filter whatsoever. I think that
my default is trying to be "nice" to avoid
awkwardness, and instead I want to focus
on being kind. Whether I'm being kind to
myself for voicing my opinion when I
think this conversation is weird, or kind
to the other person because maybe they legit
don't realize how weird it is for
them to suggest that we kill all
homeless people.
This isn't the Hunger Games. Why are you
suggesting mass murder of a bunch of
people who are probably the majority of them
are mentally ill or
have substance abuse problems. And I encourage you
to ask yourself, like what would you say
if you weren't afraid of rocking the
boat, and instead committed to actually
voicing the opinions that you have in a
conversation. Or maybe you're a person who is
never afraid to say anything at all. Maybe
that gets you into trouble. Let me know.
I'm Anna Akana, stay awesome Gotham.
I just want to say, thank you so much to Squarespace
for like sponsoring today's episode. It's not like I
don't like you anymore,
it's just that like with Squarespace,
they have all these beautiful and like award
winning templates on their all-in-one
platform, which means I never have to like
install, patch or upgrade like ever.
Plus it's like you're not really emotionally
available, but if I send Squarespace a text
at 3 am and I'm like, "Hey baby, are you up?" They're like, "Yes,
we are." Because their customer service is 24/7.
Like wow. Not to mention if I like
need a new domain name or something, they give
me like a really unique and like simple setup
experience, which is like really nice of
them. So if I like want to make a website for
like my modeling career, or if I want to
make a website for my photographing career.
I can do like either of those all on
Squarespace. So, I mean. I'm gonna go get a free
trial with them at squarespace.com and use
the offer code "Anna" for 10%
off. But like I still really love you, but
I think it's better if we just both go to
Squarespace and use the offer code Anna
for 10% off for first purchases.
I still want to be friends, though.