I swear it's like everyone is just draining my energy it's like how much
can they get out of me and it leaves me feeling tired and like
I just don't have energy for myself you can take care of me what yeah sure
welcome back to another video my name is Erin and I hope people expand their
consciousness now in this video you're gonna learn exactly why people are
draining your energy plus how you can set boundaries not feeling guilty
the way that this works is a lot of people that go through a spiritual
awakening will go through a part where or just in general people in general
that are going through the process of doing their own work of becoming aware
of how like they can transform their own lives you'll find and these people will
find that once they start doing that many other people will start to attach
themselves to their energy they'll start to almost in a way get something
energetically from the people that are doing the work or from just people in
general and what happens is then the people that are giving it and a lot of
times people that are giving it want other people to be happy so they're
doing it with great intentions what ends up happening though is those people that
are giving the energy end up feeling drained and like they don't have energy
for themselves I know that when I went through my awakening process and I
started doing the inner work I noticed that people started to really gravitate
to me and in a way they would come to me for certain things I remember I had some
friends I would come to me anytime they were having a relationship issues and
then they would want me to talk them into feeling okay about it and there
were people that would come to me for advice for motivation things weren't
working out even to this day I'm becoming aware of how to have better
boundaries because I find that sometimes I give too freely and I end up feeling
drained and I need to be aware of filling up my own cup before I actually
give it to other people so this is something that I'm definitely becoming
more aware of now as well however the thing that I've learned that's changed
every for me is learning why I feel drained in
the first place if you figure out why it makes it so much easier to understand
how you can reset these boundaries without feeling guilty and I'll talk
about as well why do people feel guilty when they start to set boundaries and as
the the intro that you saw the the metaphor of that is a lot of times
people may come in and they may say hey can I have some of this and what happens
is we out of politeness we say yes and then maybe they grab one of our cans of
motivation or our bottles of motivation but maybe they then get used to it and
they continue to grab the different bottles of motivation until there's
almost none left inside of your fridge and that happens for a lot of people
they will give their energy freely and then find that they feel drained in the
process and then ask why do I feel drained well why did you give away those
bottles knowing that you needed those bottles for the next couple days now you
got to go to the store and you got to get some type of bottle to fill back up
your fridge rather than of keeping what you needed until the next time you went
to the grocery store so that's a metaphor for how this process works but
in general it's it's that's that's really the key to this so let me share
with you first off what our boundaries what our boundaries and these are is
actually what boundaries are I've made this little thing right here boundaries
is there is what you allow and then there is what you do not allow these are
the boundaries if we have there's a boundary this is what we do allow what
we don't allow now here's the thing you already have some type of boundaries if
somebody were to come into your house and start beating you up or beat up your
dog or something like that you'd be like no that that is where I draw the
boundary I do not allow that but for some reason what happens is we get so
used to people us treat not us a certain way that we allow
that we say no to this but we say yes to this and once we start to say yes to
something we then start to assume that that is what we are worthy of do we
start to assume that that's what we must do in order to be loved see there's a
deeper aspect here there's a deeper aspect and one of the reasons that we
may allow people to walk on us is because we want their acceptance or
their approval we want our friends to like us have you ever felt guilty when
your friends want you to come out and you find it hard to say no even though
you know you might not want to go out for me that for a long time that was
something that I had to really learn to deal with because when I went through my
spiritual awakening people were so used to having me around
you know before my spiritual awakening I would drink a lot I would smoke a weed
and I'd have friends that I would go and do that with and then I go through
spiritual awakening and I start meditating I started feeling completely
different those things don't interest me the same the way that they used to and
then people would ask me to come out and I'd be like out of pattern out of
expectation I'd be like okay and I would go out and I would end up feeling
drained even though I'm in the back of my mind while I'm there I'm like I don't
really want to be out right now but there's some type of obligation in a way
I wanted to be accepted I wanted to still be liked they expected me to be a
certain way and I was doing my best to uphold that even though deep down I
didn't really feel like going out and doing that you want to come to my house
we can do meditation and stuff I'm down for that
but going out and drinking and stuff no and of course there's always balance
here I'm not saying that that's even to this day that's the only thing I like
doing is sitting around meditating maybe it is hmm but in general what do you
allow over here and then what do you not allow over here and the thing is is at a
certain point we decided okay I guess I'm going to allow this and then our
friends are like oh they allow this this is okay and then what happens like say a
friend talks you into going once but yeah I don't know if I want to go like
just go come on you know you want to go or like deep down like could it be like
the old time just come have a come have a beer with the boys you know what I
mean or something like that and you're like okay I guess I'll go and then you
go and then what happens is every single time after that they're like eh
they already agreed to go a couple times ago I know I get them to go again and
then they're on their friends phone with the friends later and they're like yeah
this person might not go he's like oh that you went last time I'll talk him
and do it again so then they see that that's the opportunity and then what
happens is the next time you say no you're gonna feel rude impolite and
you're gonna feel and then you're not gonna want to let them down and then if
they let them down what if they don't talk to you for two weeks or something
what if they don't act like you the same way they used to like you you see how
that works that's what happens when I'm talking
about boundaries what are your boundaries and here's the crazy thing
you want to you're the crazy thing about boundaries this is the part that's very
hard to swallow okay like the bottle of motivation you gotta swallow that you're
something that's hard to swallow when it comes to boundaries do you want to know
whose fault this is do I know we it's our fault it's your fault it's my fault
it's the person that feels drains fault because they agreed and said yes you can
take this you can have this until we realize that it's our responsibility to
say no to someone else taking our bottles of motivation until we realizes
our responsibility we will remain in a story that says other people are doing
this to me I don't have to I don't have free reign over my own energy over my
bottles of motivation other people do and the moment we're in that frame and
we're using that excuse or story is the moment we give our energy way even more
the heart that cold hard truth about this is that we must take responsibility
for our own energy of what we allow versus what we don't allow we must not
allow others to take our energy if we aren't already 100% or willing
deep down to do that deep down you may have been thinking hey Aaron can I have
these bottles of motivation and I would have it in my mind like well I don't go
to the store for another three days I need one of those a day at least I don't
know if I'm I I don't want to but yeah I guess yeah go ahead and then they could
they proceeded to take three of them now I gotta go to the store today so that
metaphor is the exactly the way as so many people do it the reason people are
draining your energies because you're letting them because at a certain part
in the past you decided that it is okay for you to allow them to and you didn't
allow them to over here and you didn't draw the line and now if you draw the
line you're gonna look like a rude rude person and you don't want to be rude and
you don't want to be rejected you don't want to lose their love and acceptance
do you see how that works so that is the key to this whole process now here why
do you feel guilty about setting boundaries you want to know why you feel
guilty about setting boundaries because you feel responsible for others you feel
responsible for their problems they come to you with their relationship issues I
know people that people anytime they're having relationships issues or certain
people they go to and they just want and here's the thing eventually you end up
enabling people I've realized this in my own life when it comes to sometimes
let's say some people in in my life don't aren't good at finances so they
look to me night-air it's great at finances look at him he's successful and
like hey Aaron can I have some money and I'm like at first I'm like well I love
you of course here you go I didn't guess what happens I give them money once I
get the money guess what they just keep coming to me and now they feel like I
became the source of their security and then eventually what I had to do is I
had to set the boundary say you know what I can't keep doing this because I'm
enabling you instead of you having your own power to figure this out I am taking
away you power and I am giving you something
that's making you feel better for a period of time but then you have to come
back to me and now you have thought that I am the source of the abundance when
you are actually the source of the abundance I will teach you and show you
how to tap into your own source but I will not keep giving you from my source
because then I end up feeling drained and used you see this is it that's it
and why do i if when I was giving like that in the first place you want to know
what it was I felt responsible I'm like oh well you know I love you I want you
to be happy I want to fix your problems I'm also someone deep down that tries to
fix things all the time I get it from my dad thanks dad I try to fix things just
something wrong with people I want to fix them I want to help them I want
people to feel good too this goes so far that I end up that I end up like
completely taking on other people's emotions and stuff other people feel
negative emotion what did i do did that kids or anything I can help you with I
didn't do anything wrong but still I want to help you feel better
but what I'm realizing is I am not responsible for other people's pain I am
not responsible for other people's unresolved emotional issues you are not
responsible for your friends relationship issues you are not
responsible for getting your other friends motivated you are not
responsible for helping other people to get some way to be like you you're not
responsible and once you realize you're not responsible you won't feel so guilty
when you realize that you are stealing from them you are stealing their power
and you are becoming the source and it's draining you but also your net you're
enabling them to continue to use you as their source me share with you one quick
example I've shared this a couple times before this may be repetitive story I do
a lot of videos it happens so here it is I went recently with a friend with a
couple friends to Red Rock Inn here in Las Vegas we went hiking and there was
this there's this cave as at the top of Red Rock once we got up there in this
cave he kind of had a jump to get to it wasn't as easy to get to well I was with
some friends and what happened is I get out there and then one of my friends is
kind of afraid to get up there because she's afraid of heights and then what
happens is she is she's with her husband who was one of my you know best friends
and she's like oh I scared it like this is she started freaking out a little bit
I was like hey just take my hand just take my hand I will get you up and then
she's like no I'm not gonna take your hand and I'm like why won't you take my
hand I kind of felt rejected like why would she take my hat oh good I just
wanna help her out but everything will be good and she'll get her out of pain
and then she's like no and it becomes like a five-minute thing where she's
like no and like trying to get up in their bed she gets up and I'm like why
would she just take my hand I just wanted to pull her up and she
said if I didn't do it I wouldn't have known that I can do it if I didn't do it
myself even though it was a pain and struggle to get there and in that moment
I realized that I had this selfish desire to pull her up so that I could
get the emotional payoff a feeling like yes I just added value I am worthy
somebody needs me is the hero because there's a selfish
motive there that gets off on giving and helping other people because I'm a fixer
I just get off on fixing fixing little problems there's a problem let me fix it
but see that's a pattern that I became I'm starting to become aware of in my
own life where I'm always trying to help people I'm always trying to fix people I
wanted to become the source of her solution
subconsciously not knowing that it's because then I would feel more worthy
why because I have somehow made a rule to myself that if I do something like
that then I can be worthy instead of knowing I am worthy for just being me I
don't need to please other people to make them happy I am worthy
being mean I am worthy whether I give people a relationship advice or not I
don't need to give it I am worthy and loving whether I give people money or
not actually I'm probably even more powerful if I empower other people to
create their own abundance from their own source within themselves instead of
becoming their source you see this is how it works so this is exactly what I
share on this youtube channel as well by the way if you haven't subscribed to the
YouTube channel subscribe turn on notifications I got a lot more videos
coming out that will show you these different shadow aspects of ourselves
videos that help empower you to become the best version of you that's exactly
what we do here with let go responsibility realize you can draw the
line of what you allow what you don't allow do not allow people to walk on you
to take your energy understand that as you draw those boundaries the only
reason you would feel guilty at all is if you take responsibility for their
energy for their happiness and once you realize that you just really want their
love and acceptance you can give yourself that love and acceptance you
crave and then you won't feel guilty so the next time you do it the first time
you do it that you draw that boundary it may feel kind of weird you may feel kind
of guilty at first but keep reminding yourself no this is my true power
this is what I'm worthy of this is what I feel like doing and don't feel guilty
if people try to guilt trip you into it if they try to guilt trip you then
that's on them that's something they need to deal with not you you don't need
to agree to it remember the main key of this is knowing that you've allowed it
once you know that then you could take responsibility for it and then get rid
of the story that people always do this as well let's say the thing as well get
rid of that story so there's a lot that goes into this a lot of people that
watch videos on boundaries may get value out of understanding narcissists and
people that like kind of have control over you I have a whole series on that
I'll go ahead and link it right here go to check that out it's on narcissists
and sociopaths how to why they don't get their karma and also how to take your
power back that'll help you just in life in general and many different ways to go
and check that out as well and as always peace much love and namaste