GIVE IT UP FOR LOUIS CATO AND "THE LATE SHOW" BAND RIGHT
THERE. LOUIS, HAPPY MONDAY.
HAPPY MONDAY. >> Louis: HAPPY MONDAY.
>> Stephen: FOR THE PEOPLE OUT THERE, THE NEWCOMERS TO "THE
LATE SHOW"" WHO MAY NOT KNOW, WHY DON'T YOU EXPLAIN TO THE
PEOPLE OUT THERE, WE HAVE AN OLD FRIEND JOINING THE BAND TONIGHT.
TELL EVERYBODY WHO IS SITTING WITH THE BAND TONIGHT, PLEASE.
>> OH, MY GOD, FRIEND OF THE SHOW, CORI WONG AND THE WONG
NOTES. CORI WONG.
>> Stephen: GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
NICE TO SEE YOU, SIR. OLD HOME WEEK.
ALSO, YOU START WITH THE CORI WONG, I COUNTER WITH A MR. HUGH
JACKMAN WILL BE OUT HERE IN JUST A LITTLE WHILE.
>> Louis: HEY! >> Stephen: STAR OF STAGE,
SCREEN, OTHER THINGS, NO DOUBT. OTHER FORMS OF MEDIUM.
QUICK PODCASTING PLUG RIGHT HERE.
IF YOU GUYS ENJOY THIS SHOW ON THE TV, AS YOU'RE WATCHING IS
RIGHT NOW, KEEP IN MIND, YOU CAN ALSO ENJOY THIS SHOW ON THE
PODCAST. THAT'S HOW EVIE LISTENS TO IT.
>> Louis: OH, REALLY. >> Stephen: SHE DOES THE
PODCAST THE NEXT DAY. SHE'S A BUSY WOMAN.
SHE DOESN'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS, FOR THIS NONSENSE.
IF YOU ENJOYED THE PRINCE HARRY INTERVIEW LAST WEEK, AND MANY OF
YOU DID, I CAN TELL--
LATE. THAT WAS A LITTLE LATE.
BUT WE GOT A 40-MINUTE VERSION OF THAT ON THE PODCAST.
GO CHECK IT OUT. AND THERE'S MORE HARRY OUT
THERE. WE HAVE ANOTHER 10 MINUTES OF
HARRY,s RIGHT? WE'RE GOING TO DROP THAT ONE OF
THESE DAYS. YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE IT.
FOLKS, YOU KNOW I LOVE TECH. NOTHING GETS ME GOING IN THE
MORNING LIKE THE SOUND OF MY MODEM DIALING UP ALL THE HOTTEST
NEWS FIT TO PRINT ON MY OKIDATA DOT MATRIX.
AMERICA TRULY IS ONLINE. AND I LIKE TO BRING YOU ALL THE
LATEST TECH NEWS IN MY TECH SEGMENT: CYBORGASM.
>> OH!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
HAVE A SIP OF COFFEE, AND I SPILLED A ( BLEEP ) LOAD OF IT.
FIRST UP, THE ANNUAL CONSUMER ELECTRONICS SHOW JUST FINISHED,
AND ONE OF THE HOTTEST NEW INNOVATIONS IS A SNORE-SILENCING
PILLOW. FUN FACT: EVERY PILLOW IS A
SNORE-SILENCING PILLOW IF YOU'RE WILLING TO DO THE TIME.
KEEP THAT IN MIND. THE SMART PILLOW HAS A BUILT-IN
MICROPHONE THAT DETECTS SNORING, THEN TRIGGERS SOUNDLESS AIRBAGS
THAT CHANGE SIZE TO GENTLY TURN A SLEEPER'S HEAD.
GREAT FOR SNORING, LESS SO FOR ANY OTHER BED ACTIVITY.
"HEY, WANNA GO BACK TO MY PLACE? WE JUST HAVE TO KEEP IT DOWN.
THE PILLOW IS LISTENING." THE PILLOW ALSO SYNCS WITH A
SMARTPHONE APP AND COLLECTS DATA WHICH IS ANALYZED TO
IDENTIFY SNORING PATTERNS. UNTIL NOW, THI ADVANCED SNORE
TRACKING WAS ONLY POSSIBLE IF YOU HAD CUTTING EDGE
"SLEEP-DEPRIVED SPOUSE" TECHNOLOGY.
IF A MICROPHONE PILLOW DOESN'T SOUND QUITE INVASIVE ENOUGH,
THEN YOU'LL LOVE A NEW COMPUTER TO PUT IN YOUR TOILET.
IT'S "A DISK THAT HANGS INSIDE A TOILET BOWL" WHICH "LETS PEOPLE
ANALYZE THEIR URINE." AND BEFORE YOU JUDGE, THE DISK
IS INTO IT.
THE DEVICE MEASURES NUTRITIONAL INDICATORS LIKE "VITAMIN C AND
KETONE LEVELS." THEN, BASED ON THAT INFORMATION,
"RECOMMENDS WORKOUTS, DIETARY SUGGESTIONS, AND RECIPES."
"HONEY, HONEY, WHAT SHOULD WE HAVE FOR DINNER?
I'M THINKIN' PIZZA, BUT THE TOILET THINKS WE SHOULD GET
SUSHI. ALSO, ALSO--
( APPLAUSE )
PILLOW TO KILL ME."
( CHEERS )
CAR THAT CAN CHANGE COLORS IN SECONDS," USING SOMETHING CALLED
"E INK TECHNOLOGY." AS YOU CAN SEE FROM THESE COLOR
CHOICES, IT'S THE PERFECT CAR FOR THE EASTER BUNNY'S MIDLIFE
CRISIS. BUT THAT'S NOT ALL.
WITH ITS NEW ABILITY TO ADAPT, THE CAR CAN EVEN MAKE FACIAL
EXPRESSIONS WITH ITS GRILLE AND HEADLAMPS.
AND I'M TOLD WE HAVE A VIDEO SIMULATION:
( APPLAUSE ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
NOW THERE'S NO-- NO BUMP. ALSO DEBUTING AT C.E.S. THIS
YEAR, A NEW DEVICE TO KEEP YOUR CONVERSATIONS PRIVATE WHILE
GAMING. TAKE A LOOK:
>> AH, AH, AH! >> SHHH, BE QUIET.
( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: THERE YOU GO. NOW, THAT'S A LOOK THAT SAYS
"YES, THIS IS TOTALLY A SEX THING."
THE DEVICE IS CALLED THE "MUTALK," BECAUSE THAT SOUNDS
SO MUCH BETTER THAN "GAME GIMP."
ROBOTICS RESEARCH HAVE RESULTED IN "A ROBOT CALLED GOLFI BEING
THE FIRST TO BE ABLE TO AUTONOMOUSLY SPOT AND TRAVEL TO
A GOLF BALL ANYWHERE ON A GREEN AND SINK A PUTT."
LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT GOLFI IN ACTION:
ALL RIGHT, IT SEES THE BALL... STARTS THE APPROACH...
MAKES A SMALL ADJUSTMENT HERE...
MOVES WITH A QUICK TURN ... A LITTLE CLOSER...
FINAL APPROACH... ALMOST THERE...
ALL RIGHT, HERE IT COMES.... BOOM.
FINALLY, A SOLUTION TO THE PROBLEM OF GOLF BEING TOO FAST.
( LAUGHTER )
MIAMI. RESIDENTS CAN ORDER THEIR UBER
EATS TAKEOUT TO BE DELIVERED VIA AUTONOMOUS, SIDEWALK-TROTTING
ROBOTS. OR AS FLORIDA'S ALLIGATORS CALL
THEM "SEX PARTNERS." WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH HUGH
JACKMAN. ♪ ♪ ♪