hello aubrey how's it going today i'm great lindsay how are you i am so good i have a
question for you let's hear it so do you tend to get into little arguments over things that are
not really that important no actually i do not like confrontation okay i avoid confrontation i
avoid i'm a peacemaker so if something's small whether that's with my partner or with friends
i just let it go you let it i'll let it bother me i'm not going to get into an argument it has to
be a really big deal i pick my battles as picture battles it's gonna be a really big deal before i
start an argument or a discussion or a fight about something what about you yeah i'm the same i'm
similar i am not a drama person i'm not good at confrontation i don't do well like i don't know
how to handle it i don't know how to do it in like an assertive way so i do avoid it too i i also and
i think we saw that in your strengthsfinder right aubry when we did our strengthsfinder quizzes
we we learned that about you the peacemaker right it isn't it was called which was funny and it was
saying that like very few people have the strength woo which is an interesting word that means you're
trying to convince people to your side you like to woo people but it was really interesting because
it talked about how people who have woo are peacemakers they like want everyone to like them
they don't want to create any friction interesting okay so that's good to know i love that i mean
today we're getting into this topic of you know little arguments and little things that are yeah
just they're not they don't have big repercussions in life right little details a little minutiae
just as a little bit yeah we had a really great question about this khadir from turkey
was asking and let me go ahead and read this okay that's a really great question okay he
said there's no point in arguing over trifles he said in that sentence i know the word trifle
means something unimportant or not valuable but when i'm writing an essay or a formal letter i'd
rather not use it since it sounds old-fashioned to me what i'm looking for is a word that has
the same meaning but is more up-to-date i think this is very insightful of khadir because it is
a little old-fashioned i rarely i know what that means i have heard it before maybe in older movies
maybe my grandparents say it but it is a little old-fashioned you don't hear it very often said
commonly wouldn't you agree lindsay yeah and kadir is fantastic khadira has been one of our listeners
for oh my gosh i think five years so thank you to khadir for sending us this question you know guys
if you yeah if you have more questions for the show send them to lindsay at allersenglish.com
we want your questions because that's what makes the best episodes right aubry yes it's so true
you guys have such good insight as you're out in the world speaking english hearing idioms
maybe in old movies and wondering do people still use this right so let's first dive into the
meanings of the word trifle because you guys will hear that word and it has a few different meanings
the first is the one kid ears talking about something that's of very little value
you will hear that like don't bother her with such trifles but it is a little old-fashioned
yeah you know i this isn't it is i guess it must be old-fashioned honestly because it's not in my
vocabulary i think you haven't heard it i think of the dessert yes right do you like trifle guys
trifle is a sponge cake dessert that has layers of like custard and cream or maybe cream cheese
fruit it's delicious okay i actually i got confused just there i i meant truffle like
the dessert or the mushroom and that's funny no those are truffles truffles yeah this is trifle
guys spelled t-r-i-f-l-e you definitely want to download the app so you can get all this yes good
vocab today but yeah it's a layered dessert they usually do it in glass it'll almost look like a
punch bowl that has this layered dessert in it with beautiful layers of sponge cake and fruit
we actually had one recently that my sister-in-law has a german exchange student a 17 year old girl
who's doing a year of high school um state and living at their home right and she made the most
delicious trifle i've ever had it had cream cheese and was so flavorful she said her mom makes it all
the time in germany that sounds insane for yeah and it was like raspberry it was like raspberry
trifle whispering oh my heck it was delicious oh wow the sugar right you shared those before you
love sugar and i love it too i can't resist a good dessert so now i'm feeling kind of hungry so we
better finish up this episode and move through it go get some go make a trifle so there's one other
way to use it and it's a verb which means to treat something without seriousness where you'd say
you know she is not a teacher to be trifled with or don't trifle with that it's not important so
it's a very high level interesting verb you will hear it okay it's not used super commonly but i
definitely hear it i like this word yeah i love it so guys that is the word trifle and our part
of our role here in all is english is to show you what word is what words are out of date you know
what words are going to make you sound like you come from the 1600s right exactly and what words
are going to make you like what do words mean what do they say about you when you use them so aubrey
we have some other options for khadir today right yes exactly because it is it's a little
old-fashioned to say don't argue over trifles but you do want to talk to this if someone starts
arguing with you about something that really isn't important this is a good thing to be able to say
yeah so one thing that i would say is maybe those details are trivial meaning they really aren't
important right if we're having a discussion and someone's really arguing about little things i
could say i feel like those details are really trivial that's not what we should be focusing on
yeah this is what i always say about trivia when i can't get the answer oh it's trivial who cares
i don't need to know that that's very punny that's a good play on words that's trivial it's trivial i
don't care um so that's the first one guy and we definitely so now we're giving you the ones guys
that you should 100 write down you'll see them in the app and you should use these don't use
trifles too old but use trivial the next one i love and for a long time i didn't know how
to pronounce this i have to admit until i think a lot of native speakers don't they see this written
and they're like so yeah the words minutiae minutiae how do you say minutia or minutia
i say minutia okay i've heard both but anusha i think i hear more often with that soft eye yeah
if you guys are not in the app you're not going to get a chance to see this or if you don't have
the transcripts but just so our listeners know aubrey how do we spell this word yes it's spelled
m-i-n-u-t-i-a-e so it's kind of a strange looking weird word it's hard to know how to pronounce it
yeah and what's really tricky is the plural which is actually sounds the same minutiae but without
the e m-i-n-u-t-i-a is the plural that's i did not know that it breaks all the english rules oh
my gosh i feel like i'm learning a lot from you aubrey on this show i did not even know
i thought that was both plural and singular i'm not sure what
i thought but now we're learning this is good
precise trivial details about something yeah so you'll i've often heard it used in the phrase
let's not argue over this minutia because we use it most specifically about that when
someone's sort of bringing up details that are too trivial right they're too insignificant to be like
now you're just arguing about minutia yeah but aubry are you someone that
likes to hang out in the details or do you are you more of a big picture thinker because i know
people in my life who can stay big picture and when they see details they say someone else can
deal with that but i struggle with that how are you saying that's a good question i probably am
more of a worrying about the minutia per se i think my personality i'm i'm good at tackling
all the small details or something and i sort of need someone else to see the big picture
and give me that vision i'm willing to admit that about myself that's why i have you lindsay yeah
yeah yeah i love visions i love big pictures and i want to be there i want to dwell in that world
all the time as like a dreamer but sometimes the details hook me and i get hooked and that's when
i'm not my best self is when i get pulled down into the details yeah because that's where you can
spend so much time right all the minutiae can really take the time to figure out all the little
things that's yeah so for our listeners guys i mean we can talk about this at the end but
think about where are you at on the spectrum you know are you a big picture thinker
do you want to dwell in the visions the big ideas the big pictures or do you do best in the
details in the minutia you should know that about yourself and your role at work right aubry that
really matters for sure and neither is wrong right but you want to be able to speak to that as well
if you're in an interview and someone's asking you about your strengths you want to be aware of
what they are and be able to highlight how that makes you a good fit yeah 100 and know the role
that you're interviewing for and make sure that your way of thinking makes sense for that role
right totally yep for sure okay we have one more this is a really fun idiom splitting hairs
which means to argue about something trivial or unimportant this actually came up the other day
with my twins okay they had this friend that they wanted to buy them hats they were talking
about how their friend was going to buy them hats at school they were doing like a fundraiser and
you could buy these dr seuss hats at school that are really tall and colorful and i said i don't
want you to ask him to spend his money on you and they said it's not his money it's his mom's money
i said you're really splitting hairs there they were like what does that mean
you use that phrase with your i did a six-year-old i knew they wouldn't know what it meant but i was
like this is perfect i will teach you this idiom here i love the end did they were they
able to like get it when you taught it to them or yeah they got it i made it really visual for
them as i said imagine i was like take one of your hairs right one and imagine splitting it
you know and so they're like okay we understand i was like you're you're arguing about a detail that
doesn't matter whether it's his money or his mom's money don't ask him to spend money on you please
that's so good that's so good all right i love it so splitting hairs right i think we talk
about this a lot with lawyers politicians right if they're taking an argument and instead of
really talking about what's important they're splitting hairs by talking about details that
aren't really significant oh gosh lawyers driving me nuts sometimes working with lawyers oh no no
no no no yeah but think about this phrase bill clinton's really famous for this quote when he
said it depends on what the meaning of the word is is that is splitting hairs is that a famous quote
okay what was he talking about no it was about the monica lewinsky trial of course and yeah he
was you know trying to make excuses and and then he said this very famous phrase because everyone's
rolling their eyes about that like really you're splitting hairs about the definition of the word
is oh yeah he looked like a fool on that trial the only quote that i think of with him is it's the
economy stupid maybe that's not bill clinton that might be someone else actually but anyways yeah so
the monica lewinsky trial was quite a drama guys you know you can read about it from the 90s but we
all just we like to forget some things yeah it's funny though it was interesting because i was in
europe um right after that happened i think it was and a lot of people would ask me about
it because they thought it was so foolish of americans to be so bothered by it because their
leaders often have mistresses and there's like out and proud about it and no one cares right it's so
cultural it's such a different culture whereas in the united states we're like how dare he
have a mistress yeah and actually that makes me that would make another great episode we should
do an episode on that you know it's kind of like cultural norms and rules in american culture about
yeah about affairs or about what we expect our politicians to be and do and how we
expect them to live it's really cultural and different between europe and the us completely
the expectation really curious how it is in other cultures i know europe a little bit but a lot of
cultures i don't know i know south america asian culture is very interesting so guys make sure you
hit follow on this show to get these great topics it's a lot of good stuff is going to be coming up
in the next couple months right aubry yes for sure okay we have a fun role play here where
lindsay and i are roommates and we're divvying up household chores this is a fun verb divvy
what does that mean lindsay divvy up so it comes from divide i guess right divide up and share
divvy up but guys this is natural and real slang so goodness yes and again make sure
you have the app because this word is spelled so weird it's d i v v y i don't know if there's
any other words where there's a double v like yeah who would think it would be double v that
makes no sense but we'll go with it it makes no sense english guys i'm so sorry i apologize on
behalf of the english language it's so weird okay let's go here i'm going to start us out
i know it's annoying to have to deal with this minutia but we're both so busy so it'll help if
chores are assigned for sure it seems trivial to have a tidy house but i can't relax if there's
clutter around i know i'm really messy so i'll try to work on that yeah you do your dishes maybe 10
of the time i'd say at least 15 of the time that's definitely splitting hairs yeah 10 15. i love this
passive aggressive role play or you're trying to say like you do not clean up after yourself
i'm like i do sometimes oh give me memories of the days of having roommates in new york
yes so bad i know roommates in college i had some terrible experiences it can be really tricky it
could be really tricky funny all right guys these are such fun phrases definitely better to use
not outdated you'll hear these all the time but also really high level to say minutia
to know what that means and throw that into conversation or divvy
exactly and just to go back and share real quick for our listeners you know you said first you said
i know it's annoying to have to deal with this minutia but we're both so busy right so it'll
help if tours are assigned so here you're saying it's hard to deal with these details minutiae good
stuff and you said it seems trivial to have a tidy house right it seems like unimportant maybe not
necessary but you're just explaining but i can't relax without it so it is important to me yeah
i do feel that way sometimes if i want to focus on my work i have to have a zen room like i have
to have things yes yes and then the last thing you're talking about the difference between 10
and 15 of the time you clean your dishes and i say that's definitely splitting hairs right
yep so you're saying okay you're avoiding the actual argument here talking about the tiny
change in the percentage is a great example of splitting hairs right you're talking about
something that doesn't matter yes i love it i love it so what's a takeaway for our listeners aubry
yeah some phrases do go out of fashion this is a great podcast to be listening to to find out which
those are and send in your questions if you have any doubt like arguing over trifles it is outdated
so keep up with new and native ways to say something so that you can build those connections
in english so like you said lindsey make sure you're subscribed to the podcast exactly and then
don't forget guys think about the way that you think as a professional are you detail oriented or
are you a big picture visionary right so because that's going to determine your career choice
and where you should go within a company in terms of your role so take a little time to think about
that and get a little insight i love this idea of understanding ourselves at work yes i love that
you need to have thought about that before before an interview before you start at a job have a good
clear understanding of what your strengths are and if you're a big picture thinker or
you're better at diving in and getting some tasks done better at the minutia all right good stuff
thanks for hanging out today aubry i'll see you very soon yep see you next time bye you